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adcarter41

Just found out my FI's parents aren't coming to our wedding

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That is absolutely awful!!! I thought it was bad enough with my FI's brother said he couldnt afford to come despite earning a hell of alot, he did eventually come to his senses!! But for parents to say that... disgraceful. Hopefully they will change thier mind too because they'll end up regretting it. Hope your FI is ok must be a kick in the teeth sad.gif
 

Originally Posted by adcarter41 View Post

They said it's just not their thing!!! Are you kidding me??!! They just went to DR and USVI a few months ago but they can't come to their son's wedding because it's in Mexico. So hurt and angry...



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Thanks for all the support/advice everyone. I don't think there is a hidden issue or anything. I think his mom just sees Mexico as a dirty, dangerous place and his dad does whatever his mom wants. We are getting married legally in the US before our DW and they have said they want to come to the courthouse with us. They do seem to support our marriage- just not our choice of location. And like many of you have said- they will regret it in the end, but we won't regret having the wedding we really want just because of them.

My FI and I are actually at a good place with it now because with his Mom comes drama and it will be nice not to have that at our wedding.

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I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with that. Were in a similar situation, we just found out this week that FI dad isn't coming but didn't give a reason why. His mom says she wouldn't miss it for anything so I just don't understand why his dad would stay home?! FI brother isn't comic either, he jus has no interest in it at all. I feel so awful for my FI , he'll only have his mom and like 3 friends there while I'll have about 25 friends and family there :( he tries to act like it doesn't bother him but I know that it does. I want to shake these people who don't think its a big deal not to go!

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I am in the same boat ... except they came up with a million and one reasons why and every time we tried to compromise, they made a new excuse.

We haven't spoken to them in over a month now

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Wow, that is really tough. People can really surprise you when you are planning a destination wedding, it can be disappointing that it really does show you where some people's loyalties lie.

I can somewhat relate, as I've had to deal with my three closest friends not being about to commit to being in my wedding party, because of various reasons, some of them good (i.e. vacation ban at work, and money being tight) and some pretty lame. But the truth of the matter is, that you kind of have to be prepared for that when you are planning a destination wedding - since you are asking a lot of your guests. 

Like everyone on the site says, just remember the reasons why you and your fiance decided to do a destination wedding in the first place and don't let other people sway you.

 

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How is your relationship with your FMIL & FFIL? It could have something to do with the fact that they don't support his decision to marry you. Of course, that sucks, but you just have to figure out how to deal before the wedding. Trust me, you don't want to find out after the wedding that your in laws hate you. I'd let your FH ask them, by phone or letter, and see what they have to say. They may not be too open with you about their reason. And they may not tell him the truth either. Going through the same thing here but I promise it will all work out for the best!

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I'm really sorry to hear that and unfortunately I have  feeling that MY FI's parents are going to do the same thing. He says that he doesn't care but I know that he does care. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his parents will surprise us. If not we will have a great day and I hope that you have a great day too!

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I definitely understand how that feels.  My own father refuses to come to my wedding in Mexico even though they often fly to Germany to visit his wife's family.  He says its too far.  While its very hurtful that he can miss his own daughter's wedding, I'm somewhat grateful not to have to deal with the drama that comes with him as he's very demanding of attention.  When you have 40 people around you, you can't always cater to one. 

 

I'm glad to hear they are going to be a part of the legal ceremony though!  That shows their support of the marriage, just poor logic on not seeing the actual ceremony. 

 

Be sure to send them copies of the fabulous pictures so they know what they missed out on!

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I know that feeling all too well. Amazing how people can continue to surprise you, no matter how well you think you know them. When I told my dad we wanted a destination wedding, he told me I was being selfish and inconsiderate, and "not thinking about [his] daughter".... he was talking about my sister, his obvious favorite.

 

BUT, future hubby and I are going through with our dream wedding. Because we know we can't please everyone, we won't try to... this day is about us, our love, and our new life. That's really all I care about at the end of the day. Some people say they NEED to have their family and friends there. I say I NEED to be happy with my husband...AND that a good photographer will do the trick! ;)

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