Am I a terrible sister?

[MsShelley]

that's what kinda happened with me and my sister... I got engaged in December and she didn't get angaged until March, but she was determined to get married before me.... Needless to say she got married in May, not even 2 months later!

Since I am the little sister, I can kind of empthesize, you are not being a bad sister at all.....

 

Idk, I just really have a hard time with this topic, anyway I will stop rambling..

[Jessica]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starfish kate We have actually said we would pay, but I think it's more of my parents wanting us to all have the same amount of attention. A particularly wants to have her own time- she is a twin (I have a brother, too) and she says that she has had to share everything her whole life and she wants her wedding to be "her time." She even insisted on being my other sister's maid of honor.... She makes things about her. She's not a bad person, but her reaction would be "too bad", not "oh, Kate, we'll work it out."

Hmm, I guess I can kind of understand wanting to have your own moment in the spotlight, but ultimately to me it just seems silly (no offense!!!) to wait a year in between each wedding. I mean, I could see maybe like, I don't know 5or 6 months, but a year?!

Then again, I am not really the type to care about having my "moment." After the wedding was over I was like "Thank god! Can we move on now?!: And I also don't have any sisters, so I would probably be singing a different tune if I did!!

I hope you two can work something out because it would suck to have to delay your wedding just because your sister happens to get engaged just a little while before you.

[JaimeLynne]

Something similar happened to us. My FI's bro got engaged completely out of the blue in February. When I heard the news I literally started bawling and had no idea why I was having those emotions! I guess since we had been discussing marriage for awhile it came as such a shock to me that they were going to be the "first". Eventually I got over it and we got engaged in June. They're getting married in March of '08 and at first I was soooo bummed that we would have to push ours back because of this but it all ended up falling into place. We are going to wait a year and get married May of '09. I think it's important that everyone have their own "special time".

[starfish kate]

See- this is why I posted this.... I am over-reacting. You have all made excellent points, and we will have to just handle it all as it comes. Thanks for all of your great, reasonable comments!

 

-Kate

[Nrvsbride]

Kate I'm sorry if I came off rude, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that even if your sister throws a hissy fit, if you both get married in the same year, it would ultimately be up to your parents to decide how they split the money. Your wedding will probably be a lot less, so even if you are only getting half of what you would normally get, it will probably still be a huge chunk for you to pay your wedding. If your sister is going through some thing where she needs her own special time, that's understandable considering the fact that she is a twin.

 

I think when the time comes that you are both engaged you should emphasize to her how exciting you think it is that you are both getting married, and that you will both get to do fun wedding planning together. Also, make sure you tell her how she'll get her special moment since she will have a big beautiful traditional wedding in Boston and you will have your DW. This way she doesn't feel competition. And if it makes her feel better to think that her wedding is somehow going to be better than yours, then let her have that piece of mind. In the end you will both have beautiful weddings.

[JaimeLynne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nrvsbride I think when the time comes that you are both engaged you should emphasize to her how exciting you think it is that you are both getting married, and that you will both get to do fun wedding planning together. Also, make sure you tell her how she'll get her special moment since she will have a big beautiful traditional wedding in Boston and you will have your DW. This way she doesn't feel competition. And if it makes her feel better to think that her wedding is somehow going to be better than yours, then let her have that piece of mind. In the end you will both have beautiful weddings.

Good point Glenda!

Btw, this has kinda happened with me and my FSIL. Even though I was totally bummed at first now I have someone to talk to about wedding stuff and compare notes with - it's fun. I think it's a great thing that your weddings will each be so different and unique!

[TATrisha]

I must say I was completely bummed every time that anyone got engaged within the last year. Shawn and I have talked about it for so long, and we have been dating the longest... but everyone else got engaged and not us. And then when they set there wedding dates I was even more upset. They are all right around when I want to get married. Luckily I'm the only one doing a destination wedding, so hopefully mine will be something different that everyone doesn't dread going to.

[starfish kate]

Glenda- I didn't think you were rude at all- I like it when people make me see things in a different way.

[MsShelley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tlseege I must say I was completely bummed every time that anyone got engaged within the last year. Shawn and I have talked about it for so long, and we have been dating the longest... but everyone else got engaged and not us. And then when they set there wedding dates I was even more upset. They are all right around when I want to get married. Luckily I'm the only one doing a destination wedding, so hopefully mine will be something different that everyone doesn't dread going to.

I felt this way for years, we had been together the longest and now everyone has already been married for 4 or 5 years, and we have been together for 8... It was very heartbreaking to me when everyone else got engaged and married....

[Nrvsbride]

Aww T. your time will come! And hopefully within the next few weeks...in NYC!!!!