And so the stress begins

[Amanda+Dave]

So, the FI and I decided on Costa Rica for our destination wedding and the other day we were looking at resorts and villas online. And both of us really the idea of a villa. It's so much more personal.

 

So, we were at his parent's house for lunch yesterday and we mention the idea of a villa. And they say something positive, like oh nice.

 

Then we mention that November seems to be ideal because it is generally cheap, according to the prices we saw. And his mom's response is, then your aunt K can't come and that's the only family who would come.

 

SO the convo ends, we continue eating lunch.

 

A few hours later, after we return home. She calls and tells my FI that if his aunt can't come then not to bother making a reservation for them.

 

WTF!

We can't plan our wedding around one person, who my FI barely sees or knows may I addd. She lives on the other side of the country. 

 

We want our closest friends and family to attend our wedding, and in order to do so, we need to keep the price of travel and accommodation down. 

 

This is so frustrating!

 

We have only been engaged a month and a half and already the stress of being a bride to be has started ....

 

[vlynnw]

OK well you need yo figure out how important it is to him that his parents are there, and why does this Aunt K person hold so much importance on whether or not they go.  Then decide if it's work moving your date....would they be ok with October or December or are there specific times in November.  Then again I would say reserve the date you want this is your wedding and you can do whatever you want.  My father has not been on board for my wedding since we announced it to be in Mexico, however I had a feeling he would turn around so I continued to plan what I wanted.  As time goes on people that are really close to you will start to lose the attitude, at least that is what I've found.  We've been engaged for over a year, and with 9 months until our wedding my dad finally admitted the real reason to me and it's not because he doesn't want to be at my wedding, so now he'll be there.  I think if you stick your ground they will come around.  If you don't think so and it's extremely important for them to be there, then a compromise may be a good idea. 

[Amanda+Dave]

November and December are both out for his aunt ... it's her busy time at work.

I'm not so sure that it's because she holds importance to them ... it's more, she's the only person in their family his mom wants him to invite. And so, if they don't come, then none of his family, other than his mom, dad and brother, would be there.

I think if we were to hold it in November and have it at a resort, it would be a completely different situation. 

Being villas are small and personal, they would have to interact with my friends and family the entire week ... and there are past issues that have all but destroyed the relationship between my parents and his. But if the tables were turned, my parents would never threaten to not come to my wedding. That's what is so upsetting.

Of course, he wants his parents to be there, but he is used to this petty crap from them, and has had enough. So I am pretty sure he will not bend on this. He is sick of having to reschedule his life to please them. This trip, this day, is supposed to be about us. And we want the people closest to us in attendance.