Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
nmurch

Legal Wedding Before Destination Wedding... =(

Recommended Posts

OK, i want to know what your thoughts are on my situation here

 

we are legally getting married a couple days before we go to MEXICO!

so i wanted it to be me, my FH our parents and grandparents that cant

make it to mexico... thats it. and some how

the word got out that we are legally getting married b4 hand and now all

the people that said "no" on our RSVP want to come! and i dont want them there

because i dont want this to be like our wedding day and with all those people

i'm afraid it might make me feel that way and like i said i dont want to take

away from the real mexico wedding!... what should i do? they are nagging me

telling me they want to be there for us etc.. and i just dont want that.

how can i tell them no? or should i just let them come!

 

 

HELPP

 

:) thankss in advance for any advice!

 

nic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow yeah that's a bummer.  I would just say this is just an intimate ceremony for you and your immediate family and leave it at that.  They will probably get their feelings hurt but someone is always bound to get their feelings hurt in these things.  Another way to avoid people coming is do it on a weekday in the middle of the week so they can't come because of work. 

We will run into the same problem now.  We had hoped on getting legally married afterwards at his 90 year old grandmother's church a few hours away from here.  It actually would have been very cool because that is where his parents got married over 40 years ago.  But we found out now we have to get married beforehand and I am in the same boat as you and don't want it to take away from the destination weddding.  I'm curious as to what other advice you will get regarding this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Sltrotter - tell them it was just intended to be an intimate nuptial exchange for immediate family members only. Ugh... this is a tough one.  Are you having a reception at home after you return from your DW?  Maybe you could tell them that although the vow exchange is just for immediate family, you hope to see them at the reception when you return and will share lots of photos and the video with them. ?? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the exact same issue!

 

 nmurch - are you going to have your MOH and BM there?

my MOH kinda invited herself...and I do want her there but then my bridesmaids will be upset that they weren't invited!

 

ahhhh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm worried about having the same problem, but we are hoping to keep it very quiet that we are getting married before hand.  Our TA recommended that we keep this information pretty hush, hush so people don't RSVP "no" because it's not the actual wedding, but I think I'm more afraid that they will want to go to the "legal" ceremony.  At this point the only two people I have told are my mother and my MOH. 

We have decided who we will have there, but I'm thinking probably my parents.  FI is not close with his parents and has actually had a lot of issues with them regarding the DW as a whole.  I know he really doesn't care to have them there, so we'll see.

 

If I do run into this, I'm certainly going to put it out there that this is a very private ceremony and only immediate family will be allowed to attend.  It may hurt some feelings, but it's our wish...it's our wedding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My FI and I are getting legally married before and no one is invited. I am already worried it will take away from our wedding in Aruba and if I had my parents there it would make that feeling worse. Any time someone tells me they want to come to the wedding I say "Great! See you in Aruba!" And when they say no, the one at home I tell them there isn't one, we are just taking care of some paper work. I honestly don't care if it bothers some people. I am not going to have a bunch of people at the legal ceremony at home just to please them when it makes me feel horrible on my wedding day in Aruba. Sorry if that came out Bridezilla-ish.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We got legally married two weeks before our wedding in Mexico. Initially we just wanted our parents there, and then in it snowballed to our siblings plus their spouses, and then grandparents and before we knew it we had like 20 people who wanted to be there! So NOT what we wanted. We ended up telling everyone that we had changed our minds and decided to get legally hitched in Mexico. We then surprised our best friends by inviting them over for dinner, had the JP marry us right there in our living room and then the 4 of us hit the town and told all the bartenders we had just eloped and got free shots all night! It was completely casual (we were all in jeans), fun and NOT romantic...exactly how we wanted it to be! By the time the "real" wedding was over, no one even remembered that we legally got married at home. It's the emotions of the day that make it your wedding day, not signing a piece of paper!

 

My best advice is to keep down playing the whole thing by telling people it's just the paper work, like going to get a marriage license at the registry, and you'd really like that person to be there to see you in your white dress, full of emotions, on your wedding day. If all else fails, lie and say you're getting married at city hall and they only allow two witnesses. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with all of you.  I think it's fine to tell people that you want just an intimate ceremony with no one there.  If you wanted a whole crowd at a wedding in your hometown, you wouldn't be doing a destination wedding - simple as that :)

 

I think my FI and I are going to get married when we get back from Jamaica.  I am afraid that if I do it before then the vows and the moment when they announce us husband and wife won't feel as momentus since we had actually already been husband and wife.  Also, since my parents and grandparents and siblings live across the country, there is no way we could do it before and have those closest to us there, so we decided to just not do it.

 

I have friends that have done it both way and both couples were happy with their choice, so I don't think you can go wrong but, as with everything in the planning process, this is YOUR wedding and marriage and you can choose who you want there for it.

 

Good luck!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I think we have made a decision to have our MOH and BM at the legal ceremony with our parents.

And then have a small dinner with all of us to celebrate and figure out all the little details for the wedding in Mexico.

I can't waiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! :):):):):):):):):)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Originally Posted by nmurch View Post

 

OK, i want to know what your thoughts are on my situation here

 

we are legally getting married a couple days before we go to MEXICO!

so i wanted it to be me, my FH our parents and grandparents that cant

make it to mexico... thats it. and some how

the word got out that we are legally getting married b4 hand and now all

the people that said "no" on our RSVP want to come! and i dont want them there

because i dont want this to be like our wedding day and with all those people

i'm afraid it might make me feel that way and like i said i dont want to take

away from the real mexico wedding!... what should i do? they are nagging me

telling me they want to be there for us etc.. and i just dont want that.

how can i tell them no? or should i just let them come!

 

 

HELPP

 

:) thankss in advance for any advice!

 

nic

 

 

haha! I totally feel your pain.

My FI and I are getting legally married 2 wks before we leave for the Bahamas. This was so our family who couldnt make it could still see us get married and my mom spread the word and now we are in the same place. Everyone who said no to going on the trip wants to go. But we are sticking to our original plan. It will just be james and I, my parents and his, my one brother who cant go, our MOH and Bestman, One groomsman who now cant come, james's sisters and my Granny. I am not turning this into some big circus day for my mom, or anyone else.

 

Plus it is going to be in the middle of the day on a wed. and then after we can have a small meal out and discuss the wedding to follow in 2wks :)

 

congrats to you by the way and good luck!!! I hope your legal day goes well. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • i was 100% happy with my cake! it was the most amazing cake and when i travel down again i will be requesting a smaller size cake than the one she made me for my 25th anniversary renewal.  I did everything by FB messanger and Paypal! she is on point with her cakes and running her business! I give her 5 Stars and then some! Thank you for making my day amazing!
    • Did you have to contact photo editing services?
    • I purchased a suit from Studio Suits in spring 2019.  I looked around everywhere because I was looking for a specific color which wasn't easy to find, so when I found it on their website I read all the info on their website where they claim to deliver high quality suits, premium material, great tailoring, etc. It couldn't be more false. First of all the company is from INDIA and you won't find out until you receive the package. You order from Stu Suits and receive the package from Harry Suits. I received a suit that was at least two sizes bigger, the shoulders where different one from another, the hamming on the ankles was visible and poorly done.The quality of the fabric was extremely mediocre. The lining looked and felt cheap, no attention to details and no mention anywhere of the kind of material.  When I placed the order I did not receive any welcoming email, but simply one stating my measurements were  not correct and I needed to pay for a trial suit 99$. I re took the measurements and confirmed them. They simply replied saying "all sales are final". When I placed the order they said it would take them 6 weeks to deliver the "custom made suit". I received it within ten days, why? because it wasn't custom at all. I can't stress enough how bad the quality of their product and service is. There are so many other services that can deliver so much better quality for less than what this con company asks for. Hope this can help you folks
    • Karla Casillas is dishonest and a liar . DO NOT USE her . She will be the missing wedding planner on your wedding day . After being paid in full she did not show up and texted  that she is sick . We had to take over  to save the wedding of 150 guests at Grand Velas . Cabo  MISSING WEDDING PLANNER.
    • You might consider underground studio Puerto Vallarta. They are a young coupe doing an excellent Job at affordable rates.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...