My mother and I have always had a "special" relationship where I love her for being my mom and raising me as my father passed away when I was eight but she drives me crazy. She did not make my life easy. She constantly criticized my weight and appearance, is jealous of my relationship with my friends and my FI. etc. I can go on. She is very self-centered and everything is always about her.
I live away from her and finally stood up to her years ago and told her if this continued I would no longer visit. She has since changed her attitude and is trying but she still has her moments. When we starting planning our wedding I offered to pay for her to come as she cannot afford it and does not travel. She has gone back and forth in her decision to come and has every excuse in the book from "I have nothing to wear", "I hate not sleeping in my own bed", etc. but when I say to her, "OK then you aren't going to come" she will say "I'm not sure, I'll think about it and let you know" . I've explained to her that I need to now as I have to put her deposit down but she still won't decide. I am OK if she does not come and my impression is that she does not want to really be there.
She has shown very little interest in our wedding and keeps telling me that no one is going to go anyway. The final straw for me was this past weekend when I called to tell her about my dress that I just ordered and in the middle of describing it she cut me off and starting telling me about these spicy sausages she bought. I couldn't believe it and it was there and then I decided I don't want her there and am now trying to encourage her not to come.
Am I a bad daughter or am I justified in my thoughts?
Sorry for the long vent.