I refuse to invite my step Mom for my wedding

[kuriozax]

I get married next month and I haven't been stressed out AT ALL until my dad asked if I have invited my step-mother. Needless to say we have no relationship whatsoever. My whole life I was pretty much obligated to deal with her and now I feel like I'm being obligated to invite her.

 

Any advice on how I should tell my Dad "I refuse to invite her"

 

If she shows up with my dad I'm fine with that but I don't want to have to make the invitation myself

 

Thanks,

 

Confused and sad Bride here

[msjulie5475]

So sorry about your step mom. Not inviting her might cause problems with your dad, but I understand why you don't want to invite her. At one point in time I despised my step dad, but with time I recognized that he was the one my mom chose to be with and if they want to be together then I am "happy" for them.

 

Good luck and I hope your wedding day is beautiful.

[kuriozax]

Thanks msjulie5475 for your words...She's been my step mom for about 18 years that's what makes it so sad. She should have tried to establish some type of relationship while I was younger, but she made it clear she didn't want to. I've never even gotten a congratulation for my graduations so I don't see why my dad is requesting that I invite her personally. I think the least I can do is actually send her the invitation but tell my dad that I am not inviting her personally, but I am afraid you are right...that might still cause problems with my dad .........I just want to be happy on the day of my wedding....

[MewKitty]

Hiya,

 

I agree with msjulie5475. I think if you are really close to your dad or have a good relationship, it would be be nice for him to have his wife there.

 

It is your wedding day & honey you are getting married soon! Don't let anything get you down. You are marrying your true love & that is what is most important.

 

Although she hasn't extended an olive branch in the past by the sounds, taking the higher road & inviting her is a kind thing to do for your dad. You never know, she may come around eventually. I'm sure she is happy for you in her own way

 

No being a sad panda! Focus on you, your partner & your soon to be gorgeous day I hope you are both very happy & best wishes

 

MewKitty

[lisadias]

I agree with MewKitty. My father has been married and divorced twice and now has a new girlfriend for the past two years who i am not completely fond of but i invited her for him. i also invited my step mother who hasn't been with my father in the last ten years or so but she is the mother of my two other half sisters who are standing in my wedding! My own mother is not even coming but let me tell you something, this day is all about you and there will be so many other people you love around you and you will be so consumed with your new husband that you won't even notice anyone else. Congrats and good luck with your decision!

[BP1152]

I am a step-mother (11 years) that has not been invited to my step- sons wedding (this weekend in TX) and I have always had a good relationship with him and let me tell you this has broken my heart deeply.  He expressed his feelings to his dad that he did not want to reminded of the divorce this was his day.  He is 26 yrs old so I have been involved in his life thru baseball/football and college.  It has put alot of stress on our marriage because we do love each other and he  made the decision to go without me.  As far as I am concerned he will not be welcome in our home.  I hope and pray that this young man is never put in the same situation that he has put his own dad in.  I have two married daughters and if the situation was reversed I know I would do the right thing.  Always put God first in everything you do and you will have a great marriage.

[Moments That Matter]

Great perspectives and advice, everyone to throw my opinion into the mix, here goes........I believe that there's lots of merit in the song lyrics of "All you need is love, love love......Love is all you need."

 

If you follow your heart, and listen to your inner vioce that's connected to "who you really are at your core" it will tell you the right thing to do for you

Everybody needs and wants to be loved, and I see shining your love on everyone around you as being a win /win all around. ...even those who may seem unreceptive or non-responsive.

You may be surprised at the wonderfully positive impact you really have on them

 

....and that's all I have to say about that.......

 

 

 

yes, all tears of Joy n Deeply Heartfelt Love !!!

 

team MTM asst, Lynda

[VegasBride121314]

Very touching!

[Hurtstepmom]

On 6/5/2013 at 2:53 PM, BP1152 said:

I am a step-mother (11 years) that has not been invited to my step- sons wedding (this weekend in TX) and I have always had a good relationship with him and let me tell you this has broken my heart deeply.  He expressed his feelings to his dad that he did not want to reminded of the divorce this was his day.  He is 26 yrs old so I have been involved in his life thru baseball/football and college.  It has put alot of stress on our marriage because we do love each other and he  made the decision to go without me.  As far as I am concerned he will not be welcome in our home.  I hope and pray that this young man is never put in the same situation that he has put his own dad in.  I have two married daughters and if the situation was reversed I know I would do the right thing.  Always put God first in everything you do and you will have a great marriage.

I agree. Ive been with my now husband of 17yrs since his kids were 7,8, and 9yrs old. They are now 30,31, and 32. They have always been treated as if they were one of my own so to call him ask him to give you away tell him your going to call me with details. Those details were me and our children who are her siblings arent invited is beyond rude. When he says hes not coming cause im not invited and you send a text saying hey il guess ill have to let you come and expect that to happen is even worse. Im good just after he does make whatever choice he makes to go and he better make the right one that respects his marriage so problems dont arise. Please miss step daughter dont ever come to my home again dont call either one of us either. Your married and as far as im concerned dead. Stay away from me and my family that you have no respect for. I wish you the best in life as i always have. Im done PERIOD!!!