| Originally Posted by missbliss85 |
Islandbride, I know exactly how you feel about the whole AHR thing. We got married in Mexico in late April (we had 9 lovely guests with us), and had planned on throwing an AHR for everyone at the beginning of July. We had made the announcement about having a party last September, and I even went through the trouble of mailing out STDs to everyone so that they had AMPLE time to think about coming out. Well, when it came time to send out invites to people, I had a number of people who had all previously told me that they were going to come suddenly decline...We had invited around 110 people, and I was expecting around 80 to show.
About a month and a half before the reception, I was only at around 50ish people who were coming, and trust me, I know how you feel about people who were excited to be going to your AHR suddenly bail out. MY DH's aunts were super vocal about us not inviting them to Mexico, which was a big part in why we threw the AHR for everyone. And two of his aunts and their families didn't even make it! After all their moaning, they never came...
So, my advice to you is to simply wait it out, and likely some more people will reply back to you. I found people were really bad at remembering to mail them back (I purposely gave them return envelopes that were already addressed and had stamps!), so you may end up chasing after people.
In the end, I did enjoy myself at the AHR and did get to see some family and friends I almost never get to see anymore, but in retrospect, I probably never would have done one.
OMG, MissBliss! Are we living parallel lives here?! We also sent out STDs back in November when I booked the venue, and included self-addressed, stamped envelopes for people in the "official" invitations that went out about 2 months ago...all they had to do was check a stupid box!!
Another similarity between us is that we also only had 10 people attend our wedding in Jamaica, and for us, that was a blessing...but we were really hoping that the AHR would be the "real reception" I had always dreamed of, and sadly, it's not shaping up for us in the same way it didn't shape up for you! SO SORRY to hear you had to go through this nonsense, too!
And yes, I have chased down a few of the non-responders, and some have finally said they are coming (after apologizing for letting the rsvp date 'slip their mind') and some have said now that they just can't make it -- people can be so frustrating!! And again, I FEEL YA on the "if I only knew before hand that this was the way it was all going to turn out, I wouldn't have had one at all" tip! That's EXACTLY where I am right now!!
It's just disheartening that the people we love and are supposed to love us don't realize that their whims of NOW not feeling like coming (when before, they were practically shouting from the rooftops how excited they were) is going to be a REALLY expensive, kind of hurtful lesson!
But like you, we are going to try to make the most of it and have the best time possible with those that show up, because like the other girls said, we will know that they ACTUALLY are happy for us and really want to be there!
THANKS for your insight -- it means the world!