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Small DW...advice please!

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#1 Cinnamon-Girl

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    Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:40 AM

    Hi all!

    So, there's a couple issues at hand here. First, my FI and I want a small, fun wedding, and due to the size of my extended family and "family expectations" that would be impossible if we did a traditional at-home wedding. Seriously, if I haven't seen someone in a year or 2, I really don't need them at my wedding. That may seem cold to some folks, and I understand that others feel differently, but I just don't see a way out of a big, impersonal and no-fun-for-us wedding if we do it at home. Just too much family pressure/drama to overcome.

    Second, I'm in my 30's and FI is 40....we really don't expect any help to be offered by our parents and so are just assuming that the cost is 100% on us. That said, it would *really* be silly to do a big at-home thing that we don't want and can't afford! Hence.....DW!!!

    But....most likely that will mean that only my parents, brother, grandparents and FI's mom will come, plus maybe a couple close friends. My dream guest list is about 20 people, but I think a good portion of those folks just can't/won't afford it, and I respect that. I'm in the process of coming to terms with being OK if only the *really essential* loved ones come.

    Here's the question: will it still be fun? Do you need a critical mass of people to make a good, lively party? (perhaps with enough tequila, any number will do...


    #2 MysTea

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    • 559 posts

      Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:48 AM

      I think it will totally be FUN! I also want a really small " Intimate " wedding, I think only about 15-20 ppl are coming to mine as well and Im totally fine with that because I really want it to be about Me and FI, No planned activities (except a welcome dinner/Breakfast and a Halloween costume party at the disco the night before our wedding...) I initially wanted a big wedding Home but I thought about the costs, and the fact that I wont really get to enjoy it because Knowing me, I will be doing alot of meet/greet/entertaining....NOT FuN!

      As long as your close family (Mom, Granny, etc.) are there, that is all that really matters I think. And it will leave more time for you and FI to enjoy your weddingmoon!

      So no worries, it will be great!
      **Dreams Palm Beach HERE WE COME!!! 11.01.2010**

      #3 ~Nicole~

      • Sr. Member
      • 4,512 posts

        Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:48 AM

        Hi CG, I had what is likely the smallest DW in history lol. We only had 7 guests plus a baby. We were all early 20's to mid 30's and it was amazing!! I was worried about the exact same thing as you when I was in my planning stages. I thought that a small group wouldn't make it feel like a "wedding". I didn't have anything formal planned so we pretty much winged the whole night and it was a hit. By the time we ate dinner and started dancing we were down to 5 guests because the one couple went back to their room to put the baby to bed. But even with only 5 of us we closed the disco at 2am and it was 4am by the time I made it to bed. I say that if you want something small, stick with it. You won't be disappointed :)
        *Formerly Nikki07*
        My Planning Thread

        #4 Jodeen

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        • 57 posts

          Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:58 AM

          My FI and I are getting married in September and we only have 15 going with us. Just parents, siblings and a couple close friends. I am looking forward to it. I don't think it matters how many you have, as long as you are having fun with the ones that do actually attend.

          #5 Sax Lady

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            Posted 22 July 2010 - 01:06 PM

            Its only going to be 15 of us total including our two kids and I think we will have a blast just think when u and FI go on vacation and you to have fun. Or if you ever went on a small group vacation and it was still fun. As I always say you make the fun it doesnt just happen, so if its just your immeidate family and close friends I think you will still have a great time because just think of big wedding at home that you attend you really dont get to hang with anyone because its so many people. Hope this helps and enjoy.

            #6 Natie1971

            • Jr. Member
            • 342 posts

              Posted 22 July 2010 - 01:13 PM

              Hi CG. I think you will have a great time. We're only having eight guests and I know we're going to have fun! You'll get to spend more time with the ones attending. And it's easier to "fly by the seat of your pants", when it's a small group. Enjoy and don't sweat the small stuff.

              #7 Josie1073

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                Posted 22 July 2010 - 01:25 PM

                My FI and I are getting married in December, and there will only be 6 of us in total in Jamaica. Most of our friends and family couldn't afford to go - we are having a dinner reception the day after we get back for all who couldn't attend. The four going with us are the closest friends, so I think having them there will make the day very special! The number of guests doesn't concern me, and there is a LOT less planning :) And it will absolutely be fun...we can't stop talking about it, including our four guests, and wish December was here already!

                #8 emmag87

                • Jr. Member
                • 161 posts

                  Posted 22 July 2010 - 01:29 PM

                  Hi Ladies

                  Thanks for posting this thread as this was something I was also worried about. I think there will only be around 12-14 guest including us at our wedding which will all be very close family & friends.

                  Every review I had read so far were saying they had about 70 guests so I was concerned about the atmosphere at a very small DW. Your comments have made me feel a bit more relaxed about this now lol

                  #9 sxcT

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,282 posts

                    Posted 22 July 2010 - 04:34 PM

                    Hi CG. I think you have nothing to worry about. The main reason I am going to have a destination wedding is because my most memorable vacations are the ones with a close group of friends on some tropical island. You will have the time of your life. And as someone else mentioned...it will be a lot less planning and you will probably be able to do a lot more with everyone in the group.


                    #10 jajajaja

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                      Posted 22 July 2010 - 06:26 PM

                      We only had 20 and it was the BEST time. Very intimate and everyone got to really know one another and have a great time for the rest of the week. We just returned from a vacation in which we had a mini-reunion trip with several of the people from our wedding. Group vacations are a hit!

                      Don't worry- it will still be a party. Just advice people to not drink so heavily the day before. That happened with us so everyone was hungover and not as party-ish as the day before. LOL But we had a blast on BOTH days so we weren't too bummed.
                      Happily married since 2008

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