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soontobemrsdow

I know people aren't made of money

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFutureWagners View Post
Hang in there BarbieGirl!! You don't need the negativity right now.. I just went through another similar situation. I just talked to my Mama, who is also usually negative but she (for once!) helped me see the silver lining... like she said, Focus on your dress, your hair, your shoes, your fiance... all the good things. I think sometimes we get wrapped up in this without realizing that this is still going to be beautiful and perfect, just the way we want it to be.

Go have a glass of wine! It helped me out of my tears last night!!!
Thanks! I think I'll take your advice and grab a glass of wine when I get home from work!
My mum has been amazing through all this too and keeps reassuring me of all the people that will be there. I'm just glad to have this done now, and not a month before the wedding. Time to start looking foward to all the good things!

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I feel your pain!... If its too expensive, DONT COME! lol. Or how about when people give your their opinions on why getting married at your location is bad, and suggesting new locations..... Pretty sure no once forcing you to come, so either come and have fun on your vacation, or dont come and SHUT IT! LOL... sorry, my wounds are still fresh! HANG IN THERE! :)

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Originally Posted by SDSteph View Post
So I got my first 'wow thats really a great deal!' It was really refreshing!

Hope all you ladies have one coming soon!
Had that last night from FMIL. She was CONVINCED she could find a better rate online than the group rate our TA arranged for us, and she phoned last night and admitted that the rate we secured is a VERY good deal (which it is). HA!

Now if she could just tell everyone else that....

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFutureWagners View Post
I just talked to my Mama, who is also usually negative but she (for once!) helped me see the silver lining... like she said, Focus on your dress, your hair, your shoes, your fiance... all the good things. I think sometimes we get wrapped up in this without realizing that this is still going to be beautiful and perfect, just the way we want it to be.

Go have a glass of wine! It helped me out of my tears last night!!!
Your mom has very good advice. Focus on the things you can control. All the other stuff will drive you crazy and make you an alcoholic if you drank a glass of wine for every tear. LOL It is soooo tough being a DW bride. Develop the thick skin and focus on the big picture.

I can't even tell you how many tears I cried over some of my important people not being able to make it. It's reallly hard and no one really understands that until they are in the same situation. However, it's a give and take. If you want the DW, it's the price that comes with it- unfortunately. I wish it wasn't this way- trust me, but I don't think there is a bride here that's had everyone they wanted be there. But the best part- I bet very few regret the hardships and the decisions they made to have the wedding their way. I know we didn't have one single regret! Our wedding rocked!

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Originally Posted by barbiegirl_27 View Post
I really appreciate this thread also. The last couple days have been hellish for me. My two best friends have been fighting with me about the wedding....and just this morning the one told me that my expectations were too high, that we're not irresponsible 18 y/o's anymore and that they have responsibilities and to expect them to WANT to come is apparently too much. And that expressing that I was disappointed that they probably wouldn't be making it was really unfair of me to say. I'm done, I'm exhausted. I can't be friends with someone like this anymore.

ahh...sorry for venting but I've spent the morning in tears. Thanks for listening!
Yikes, sorry barbiegirl, that's just not right! My best friend since high school isn't coming either because "it's just not in the cards financially" (when in reality she is the only one of my friends who CAN afford it!), and I let her know that I was disappointed. I wasn't trying to be mean, or guilt her in to coming, but she's my best friend and I was honest with her. I think it's unfair of your friends to think that you're not allowed to be disappointed - of course you are!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SDSteph View Post
So I got my first 'wow thats really a great deal!' It was really refreshing!

Hope all you ladies have one coming soon!
I have only had one "wow that's a really great deal" and yes it was awesome - I almost wanted to tape record it and post it to my website!

My guests haven't been too bad in terms of moaning about the price, but there definitely have been a few comments about why I have chosen such a "fancy" resort, etc. I want to tell them it's okay if they want to spend the same price and stay at some crappy hotel down the road...

I've spent SO MUCH time researching resorts and pricing, and negotiating my ass off along with my TA for my guests, so it's a little insulting when people insinuate anything about this being less than a stellar deal - believe me it is! If you want to come, just book it now and thank me later, lol.


Also, there's my one cheap ass brother that really ticks me off. He keeps saying stuff about how this wedding is costing him an arm and a leg... like seriously if you don't want to come FINE BY ME, but don't complain and make me feel bad about the fact that you are coming! Plus his two kids are free (one of the biggest reasons we picked this resort, cause I cringed at the thought of his reaction if we went somewhere where they weren't), so he and his wife and two kids are going for 11 nights and paying under $5000 CAD including airfare for all 4 of them (which I think is pretty freaking good!)... and isn't it weird how although he is bitching about the cost, they added extra nights on to their stay (most people are only going for 7 nights)?!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFutureWagners View Post

THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING. And THANK YOU Soontobemrsdow for putting this thread up in the first place. <3
im so glad that so many of you have come forward in this thread! i thought it was just going to be a vent and then quickly forgotten. I guess this is a huge problem that us DW brides have to deal with and I'm glad we now all have an outlet to vent when those annoying guests wont just smile and say congrats.

but congrats sdsteph on the great deal comment! i bet hearing someone say that makes you totally forget about the other 50 people who have said the very opposite!

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Hey ladies, I definitely can understand what you are going through. My family has been completely supportive even though they aren't as well off as FI's family and it will be a struggle for some of them to save up the money. My family understands that a traditional wedding is just not me and it will be especially hard because I lost my dad a couple years ago. If I were to get married in my hometown it would literally be at the same place that we held my Dad's funeral because there is only one hall. I just want to go away and be with people I love.

 

FI 's friends and family don't seem to understand or maybe they just don't care. His parents were literally married in their living room and don't understand why I would want anything more than that. and now I'm feeling the pressure to make sure everyone has a good time otherwise they will just complain forever about it! But what can you do?

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I love this thread!  Planning a DW is not as stress free as I would have hoped!  For the first couple of months after we had booked our location, my FMIL was ALWAYS trying to get me to look at local places.  Saying..."well now almost all my family can't go"  and "what about the people with kids...how are they going to be able to come"... "why are you making it so hard for people".  Luckily she has been better lately. 

 

I'm lucky most of my immediate family loves Caribbean vacations.  The most hurtful comment came from one of my cousins who said to my mom "If she really wanted me to come she wouldn't have had the wedding in Mexico, she obviously doesn't her own family to come because it's going to be so expensive"...AND he goes on about 6 vacations a YEAR!  Now he & my mom aren't talking...it was such a disaster. 

 

At least now we know the people who are going to come are genuinely happy for us and want to have an amazing time!!

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