Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
msmarmar123

Can You Un-Invite People once you tell them you're going to invite them?

Recommended Posts

Hey...

FI and I are working on our guest list and we've already gone through family and friends requesting addresses , etc...

Now..looking at our list we realize there are way more people than we can afford/want (afford for him..want for me fryingpan.gif)

 

So...what is the "proper" way to uninvite guests (that are all basically family that probably wouldn't really go in the 1st place but are those "have to" invites) that haven't technically been invited yet..but think they are goign to be?

 

For my half (my family)..I'm not super close to them and this is my 2nd wedding..they were all at my 1st

 

For FI..this is his 1st and I can see him wanting everyone there...and it's all family that if you invite one person..how can you not invite the next?

 

Help Please :)feedback.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My situation is similar. This is my 2nd marriage but FI's first. I have 8 aunts and uncles on my mom's side and 15 on my father's side and dozens of cousins. (our initial guest list was close to 300 because I felt obligated to invite family). I'm not close to either side so my mom told me don't feel pressured to invite them for the sake of being polite. I eventually told friends and family that we would be having a small wedding and since our family is so large I would not be able to invite everyone but hope that I would still have their well wishes. Because times are so hard they all understood and in fact most of them were just really surprised that I made the effort to inform them since they haven't seen or spoken to me in over 16 years. I did invite 2 of my Aunts (they have been the closest to me, one was my teacher in kindergarden and the other lives in the US and helped me tremendously when I first moved here).

Some people may feel slighted but I think if you let them know that you would like to keep it small and intimate and though you would love their presence you can't afford it they will understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you haven't sent out invites or even STDs yet, I think you're ok. When you do start to send things out, if anyone says anything, you can tell them that you decided to make it a very small intimate event for extremely close family and friends only.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only way to make sure your guest list remains in the range you're comfortable with, is to simply not invite everyone ... but ... having said that, from my own experience we invited all of our family and friends knowing full well that not everyone would come. We lucked out as only 42 showed up (out of a possible 250). It was a risk, but definitely ensured there were no ruffled feathers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomasjsgirl View Post
The only way to make sure your guest remains in the range you're comfortable with, is to simply not invite everyone ... but ... having said that, from my own experience we invited all of our family and friends knowing full well that not everyone would come. We lucked out as only 42 showed up (out of a possible 250). It was a risk, but definitely ensured there were no ruffled feathers!
Ditto!

We knew that even though 50 invitations went out for our actual DW in Jamaica, that we would end up with a small group anyway, based on the economy and other factors -- and sure enough, we were a group of 10 plus the bride and groom! But, NOBODY can say they weren't invited/included, now can they?! wink.gif

But alas, we're running into another situation: who can we afford to invite vs. who do we WANT to invite! We ended up figuring that since we had already invited EVERYONE to the wedding in Jamaica, we felt that no one could really be upset if they weren't invited to the AHR (since we had already tried to include them and they declined).

This was not meant to be spiteful; it's just that we can't invite everyone under the sun since WE are paying for everything and can only invite the people we REALLY would like to have there.

So, we have gotten back a few "no's" so far, but we had to be prepared to pay for each and every person we sent an invitation to if they all said "yes" -- you've got to draw the line somewhere!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am facing the same issue. I have a grandmother that dosen't really like me, but that wants to come to our wedding. I am not sure I really want her there, but it becomes and issue with my own parents. How do I tell them I don't want her there?

 

It is a tough decision. sad.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallfromgrace View Post
I am facing the same issue. I have a grandmother that dosen't really like me, but that wants to come to our wedding. I am not sure I really want her there, but it becomes and issue with my own parents. How do I tell them I don't want her there?

It is a tough decision. sad.gif

I'm kind of in a similar situation since the family I'll be "dis"-inviting is all on my Dad's side...he passed away about a year and a half ago...
Him and my mom have been divorced for awhile and my mom doesn't get along with his side of the family..
If my dad were still alive...of course all would be invited (I'd also probably have a bigger budget--which sounds horrendous...but it's the truth) and if it was a bigger event, everyone could stay away from each other (which is how it was at my 1st wedding).
But because it IS a vacation and a smaller group..it should be up to you (and me) who we want there...
I want my mom over my dad's family....

I guess what it comes down to...it's OUR wedding....we make the rules :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We are hoping to have some sort of AHR after we get back...August of 2012...but it's all about budget and that's soooo far away that I can only focus on so much at a time....2 years from now I have no idea who I'm going to invite. If it was my 1st wedding...it's be different. And I feel bad because it IS FI's 1st (AND ONLY) wedding...but...unless he wants to ask his parents for more $$$ (especially when they haven't yet confirmed how much they are actually contributing and my mom has already given her donation (PLUS bought us our house so she's good!))...I don't feel as bad as I probably should. Part of the reason we are doing destination is to get away from all the traditional wedding and guests, etc....so inviting all of his family (some I have never even met) doesn't make total sense to me....

Sorry for ranting :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallfromgrace View Post
I am facing the same issue. I have a grandmother that dosen't really like me, but that wants to come to our wedding. I am not sure I really want her there, but it becomes and issue with my own parents. How do I tell them I don't want her there?

It is a tough decision. sad.gif
I understand this situation! My godfather/uncle who sent me this: http://bestdestinationwedding.com/fo...ml#post1354465 book, I didn't really want to invite. I don't think he'd come, but on the off-chance he did, I didn't want him there. But then my mom was all upset because its her brother. huh.gif Why do wedding invites have to get so political?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Planning to get married? Let’s discover some great wedding venues in Bangalore. The increasing demand for the wedding venues in Bangalore makes it very difficult for both the bride’s and groom’s family to get hold of a marriage hall that is suitable for the marriage. As they say, marriages have to be organized in a grand fashion. The atmosphere and the ambiance of a wedding make it memorable for a lifetime. Though there are a plenty of wedding venues in Bangalore, there is only a handful of them that are really good, Offering the best possible experience.  Some of the most popular wedding venues in Bangalore are: THE TAMARIND TREE: Tamarind Tree has the old world charm. This is one of the best wedding venues in Bangalore that boast about its eco-friendly surrounding. Built in the middle of a few acres of garden filled with lush greenery and trees, which also includes the tamarind tree after which it was named, a pond, a stage for the band, classic looking pavilions for the guests to sit, and a lot of spaces around the area. The premise has two large kitchens with a very special fully stocked bar and a lot of space where the guests can dine comfortably. The place can accommodate up to 1000 guests. Customer Reviews : Address: 88, Kanakapura road, Anjanapura post, Avalahalli, Royal Park residency layout 2, 9th phase. JP Nagar, Bangalore 560062 THE COURTYARD HOUSE: The courtyard house is located off Sarjapur Road, the premise is a unique and unconventional property suited for various events, namely weddings. The outdoor space of courtyard house draws in people looking to get away from the traffic and noise in the city, well within the city limits. The green grass and tall trees make for great photographic backdrops making it popular for wedding events. Customer Reviews : Address: Janatha Colony, Gunjur Palya, Bengaluru 560087 RITZ-CARLTON:   The Ritz-Carlton has over 277 spacious rooms and suites and is one of the most luxurious hotels in Bangalore. Seven luxurious restaurants, the Ritz-Carlton spa, and tastefully appointed meeting spaces make it ideal to host marriage occasions. Customer Reviews : Address: 99, Residency Road, Shanthala Nagar, Ashok Nagar, Bengaluru 560025 BALAN FARM CONVENTION CENTER: Balan farm is a green, wooded island of peace and serenity nestled quietly in the busy rapidly developing JP Nagar. Neighboring the Brigade Millenium Apartments and L&T South city it spreads across two acres of an old orchard retaining the ancient fruit-bearing trees and landscaped gardens. Balan Farm convention center JP Nagar has over 10,000 sq ft of the tiled canopy without any walls blocking and it makes for a really good view. Customer Reviews : Address: 99/4, Nataraja Layout, JP Nagar 7th Phase, Bengaluru 560078 HYATT MG ROAD: Hyatt a 5 Star hotels in Bangalore is located on MG Road. The guest rooms are colorful with a great view of the city, this makes it an ideal place for private ceremonies with 2300 sq ft of meeting and event space. The Hyatt MG road, Bangalore also has restaurants like the Pink Poppadom, Liquid Lounge, and Bar. Customer Reviews : Address: 1/1, Swami Vivekananda Road, Someshwarpura, Ulsoor, Bengaluru 560008 BUNGALOW 7 Bungalow7 offers a unique setting for a wedding, pre-wedding and post-wedding functions. The place hosts a variety of public and private events all within a stunning heritage setting of central Bangalore. Customer Reviews : Address: 7, Hall Road, Richards Town, Bengaluru 560005 GAYATRI VIHAR MANTAPA: Gayatri Vihar is one of the most luxurious wedding halls situated on Palace ground. It boasts of a massive one lakh sq ft area which can easily accommodate up to 5000 guests. The ambiance of the place makes it ideal for community gatherings and private parties. Customer Reviews : Address: Jayamahal Palace Ground, Bengaluru 560080
    • My best friend is getting married with his long-term girlfriend next month. As a best friend, I want to give them the best present they would ever receive on their special day. I am planning to buy them plane tickets and book them for a one week trip abroad. However, I am torn between Ukraine ski trip and a tour to Lima, Peru. My best friend loves skiing and his future wife is a chef, so I presume she would want to experience a Peruvian taste. Now, I am confused. Which is which? I would appreciate it if you guys will leave a comment to help me out with this. Suggesting a way better idea which will accommodate the two activities for the soon-to-be wedded couple is a big help too. Thanks!    
    • Hello all!! I'm getting married next week. Every arrangement has been done by my sister for my special day. When I joined in an MNC I was troubled with severe headaches and as per my colleague's instruction, I took an appointment in a nearby eye clinic. And after an eye examination in Toronto, the eye specialist diagnosed hypermetropia in me. And the doctor prescribed eyeglasses for me. The doctor suggested me to wear eyeglasses during the working time. But I used to wear it sometimes not every day. Then I was troubled with severe eye strain and headache and mom was scolding me to wear eyeglasses every day. I thought of saying goodbye to eyeglasses forever. I'm planning for a Lasik eye surgery soon before my marriage. I don't know whether I'm eligible for Lasik eye surgery. I'm tensed about its recovery time and its complications. Can someone help me by sharing your views?  
    • In the 2017 bridal fashion week, many styles of wedding dresses were gradually popular. From serious bling to regal capes and fun and flirty short numbers, ByCouturier've got all the hottest wedding dress trends you need to know. Allover Sparkle
      Over-the-top sequins, tonal beading and metallic embellishments turned the Bridal Fashion Week runways into a glittery affair. Perfect for evening nuptials under the stars, this trend is daring but sophisticated. Pro tip: If you're rocking a gown with lots of sparkle, keep your accessories minimal and let your glitzy frock do all the talking.  Bold Ball Gowns
      If you're looking to make a dramatic entrance, a classic ball gown is for you—and we saw plenty of them. Take a cue from long, lace sleeves, or get glam with an embellished strapless bodice. No matter the details, this voluminous style is sure to turn heads.  Captivating Capes
      Not into veils? A full-length bridal cape or shorter capelet is the perfect alternative: It still adds movement to your gown, but feels fashion forward. Plus, this trend is an easy way to pull off a mid-wedding outfit change. Wear a cape or capelet for a more formal look during your ceremony, then whisk it away to hit the dance floor at your reception. Short, Sassy Dresses
      Whether you show off your legs (and a killer pair of heels) in an embellished mini or opt for a more conservative midi-length number, a wedding dress with a flirty hemline is a chic way to mix it up. Not willing to give up your dream ball gown? Change into a shorter frock to spice up your reception or after-party.  Plunging Necklines
      The deep V-neckline is a must-try for two reasons: It flatters your upper body (even if you're busty!) and elongates your frame. A plunging V with scalloped lace is ultra-feminine, while a sleek V plays up the inherently sexy vibe of a curve-skimming silhouette. Just make sure you have fashion tape handy the day of to avoid any wardrobe malfunctions. 
      Skinny Straps
      We love this trend for two reasons: A gown with barely there straps has all of the sex appeal of a strapless neckline, plus added support. We call that a bridal fashion win. 
    • Hello all, 
      I am here to get some suggestions on the best places to go on a honeymoon. I am getting married by the end of next month. 
      I was thinking of Bali or Maldives. But just wanted to know other beautiful and romantic places. The wedding banquet hall is a gift from our parents. The hall they have booked for us is one of the best banquet halls in Vaughan I’ve ever seen... Other arrangements like the videographer, photographer, wedding dress, reception dress are all finalized. The next week we have the pre-wedding shoot. Also, I'll start sending the invitations the same week. So, it is going to be hectic and I don't have time to rest or look for some nice places. So, if anyone here could suggest some places would be a great help. 
      Let me know your suggestions. 
      Thanks in advance! 
  • Topics

×