Is it OK to scrap the AHR??

[Melaina]

Glad it worked out We're not having an AHR either... less stress and less money!

[nessa0308]

I'm still undecided on whether or not I want to have an AHR. I know there are a lot of folks that want to celebrate with us, but man....it's just more money. Maybe a BBQ is a good idea.

[islandbride317]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tissey Thanks so much and I think this is a great idea. You're all so good with the advice, I really appreciate it!

You're so welcome, Sierra!

Glad to hear that this suggestion might be a good option for you...and I'm sure your friends and family will be so excited to see your pics! In addition to the few you include in the announcement, perhaps you might want to upload more into a photobucket account or something so that people can view as many or as few as they might wish? Another way to allow them to "feel like they were there" to share the day with you both!

[SunnyDBride]

It sounds like you want to have one so I say definitely move forward with that so you don't feel a sense of regret later. I would advise having it a couple of months later though so that you can have a little breather. Do you have BM's or can either of your parents host or help plan it?

 

I personally would not scrap one, I really want one and so does FI so that's good we're on the same page. What does your FI say?

[JennandMike08]

We aren't having one, I think we both prefer it that way. We're having a jack and jill shower, which is more like a "send off" party instead. I feel like the whole point of doing a DW (for us) was to avoid the whole thing here.

[Valentine_Baby]

I couldn't agree wit you more.  However now the FI is having second thoughts and telling people that we are probably having an AHR . . umm hello I don't need the added stress and added money.  Like you said, the whole point was to avoid having a party here.  The way I see it.  We gave everyone almost 2 years notice to save up to join us on our special day.  We are sorry if they cannot make it but I'm sure we will see them at the shower / jack and jill beforehand.

 

Not to mention we arent getting married until October and I don't want an AHR close to the holidays or winter because everyone has no choice but to stay indoors.  So it would be probably close to 9 months until nicer weather . . . .skipping the AHR just hoping FI will agree in the near future
 

Originally Posted by JennandMike08 

We aren't having one, I think we both prefer it that way. We're having a jack and jill shower, which is more like a "send off" party instead. I feel like the whole point of doing a DW (for us) was to avoid the whole thing here.

[eholt]

We have decided to scratch ours as well.  We wanted something casual but all the venues really cater to more formal functions and everything came at a premium price as well.  I was so turned off by this.  FI was on the fence thinking we could swing it until we sat down and discussed the cost.  Now we both agree that its best for us to put the thousands toward our home purchase and savings.  We can host a housewarming when we get our home.

[skp1]

I'm glad to read all the responses here.  Having a AHR seems to defeat the purpose of the DW.  While it would be nice to share the day with everyone, it's not always realistic and you have to do what's right for you and your fiance - not everyone else.  My current plan (which may change) is to have a party a few months before the wedding (not sure what to call it - engagement, almost married, jack n jill).  I was concerned that after the wedding, you just want to relax and not have more stress planning another event and from the responses here, it sounds like that's the case.  At least beforehand, I still have all the momentum.  It would be a casual affair - probably in our condo clubhouse, catered by a restaurant, with booze and an iPod - and no gifts expected. 

[Amiep603]

we are deffinetly having an ahr because we decided to only invite 20 people to the wedding so we have a ton of people who want to celebrate with us a few months after we get back

[chell44]

I'm not doing AHR jsut having my shower, and that will act as our at home reception