OK ... I too have read through this whole thread and I think it sounds like you're headed in the right direction.
At first my husband told me to do whatever I wanted and to just tell him where to be and what time (I'm not kidding LOL). Then, once he saw me planning ... he started to give me his opinion on things. This was fine with me ... as long as it was what I wanted!!! Then I realized that it was just as important to him as it was to me ... he'd just never planned anything like this before. Once I asked him what was really important to him to have at our wedding and reception he only had a couple of requests.
He didn't care at all about chair ties, flowers, bouquet jewelry, hair accessories (as long as I was on budget of course) but ... for him ... he wanted cigars for the guys and tequila shots - and to upgrade to the gold menu (surf and turf at Dreams Tulum) sounds great! Done!
He didn't know what anything was going to look like until he was there waiting for me to walk the isle. And I was sooo happy with how everything turned out ... and so was he.
Happy to hear it's going better between you two ... keep us informed and let us know what you need help with ... lots of ways to save money and a lot of very creative gals on here. *huGs*