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atrott

I don't want my own mother at my wedding....

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we had a family member attend our wedding that has alzheimers and dementia and yes it was a little work but we were all so happy to have her. she had such a blast and years later even when she could not remember the most basic details she always remembered the wedding and told me how beautiful it was. i am really grateful that she was able to make it and it was one of her last more lucid trips.

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I have to agree with the other ladies...my vote is to have here there. I'll give you the edited reason why I feel this way....My original wedding date was 5/5/10, but my mother was diagnosed with cancer in Feb...her condition declined very rapidly and she passed away in June. When my wedding day comes, there will be an emptiness by her not being there. Just be thankful that your mother is still alive and can travel for your big day. I think it's generous that your brother has offered to pay for her to be there, and I'm sure family and friends will make sure that she is safe and well cared for while at the resort. It may seem like a hassle, but trust me, when it's all over and you look back on your wedding day, I think you'll have some very happy memories of her there with you.

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I agree with the ladies also. My grandmother had dementia and half the time she didn't even know that I was a girl. I would love for my grandmother to be there. Even if she only remembered it for an hour or so.

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I can understand both points of view on this. My grandfather is suffering from dementia, and originally, we had planned to bring him to Mexico for our wedding, but as it got closer to the wedding, his mental health had started to decline even more rapidly. Situation was very similar to your mom's -- he was pretty comfortable in his own surroundings, but when he travelled, he would get easily confused and somewhat agitated. In the end, we decided it would be too hard on him to travel that far for our wedding. It was sad to not have him there, but we were still able to include him in the celebration by having an AHR back in my home state, which he attended.

I think you have to decide what's best for both you but most importantly for your mom.

Best wishes to you...

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Is there someone else you can invite along as a friend for your mom? That way you don't feel badly about not being at her side 24/7, but you still get the pleasure of having her around.

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Sorry but I have to agree with what has been said. If she's not there and is capable of being there you'll regret it later. She's still living alone so she can take care of herself for the most part. I don't think you should stress about it so much. So your brother may not take care of her the whole time you're there, but you don't have to take care of her the whole time either. It would be one thing if she wasn't able to be on her own and is to the point of needing to be in a nursing home. My grandpa has alzheimer's and our family took him on trips everywhere up to the day he had to placed in a home. It's a difficult thing to deal with as a family member, but you may actually be helping her condition by allowing her to be at your wedding.

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