We had a lot of that crap going on when we were planning our DW to mexico. One friend who I am a BM for in her wedding gave me so many sob stories from saying her mom wouldnt allow her to come, to her fiancee giving her a hard time for it. Well in the end she came, but all the drama excuses were totally unneccessary. I also think ppl make stuff up just to find a way out of not going to something. I had another friend say she didnt have the money to go, but about a week before the wedding wrote me a catty text saying the only reason she didnt have the money was because she was saving it for a trip to Aruba with her fiancee in the same year. Well funny thing is her fiancee came to our wedding and left her home in the USA. I guess catty-ness just leaves you at home ALONE while everyone else is having fun! And they still havent gone to Aruba!
Overall everyone we invited pretty much showed up and had a great time. No regrets in that at all! And the resort area we stayed in were 100% safe. If anything tell the families that the druglord crap is definitely not in major tourist cities in Mexico just for the mere fact that the natives make more money of us tourists visiting than the stupid druggies.