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Mother issues.

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#1 tris

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    Posted 25 June 2010 - 11:25 PM

    So my mom just texted me and bailed on wedding dress shopping for the SECOND time. This time I had even let her set the date (July 17) because the first date I had picked (weeks in advance) she was planning on going camping. THIS TIME she says she got asked to be someone's partner in a golf tournament. She's hit this stage in her life where she's come into her own skin again and is hanging out with new friends, which I'm honestly very happy for her, don't get me wrong.

    I'm really hurt.

    I want my Mom to be there, but I really don't even think she cares. When I mentioned that to her she said that she wants to be there and that I should "chill I have tons of time" and "summer is only so long (she wants to enjoy it)". The oddest part is I'm VERY close with my Mom. We talk all the time and I tell her everything. I'm seriously asking for a Saturday afternoon, is that too much?

    She mentioned to my sister many times that "she didn't care about her wedding" (she got married super young, and divorced soon after we were born). She doesn't seem to 'get' that this is a big deal to me...

    My younger sister is outraged on my behalf and thinks we should just go the two of us (or with my other 2 bridesmaids). I've honestly reached a point where I'd be fine with that but I don't want to hurt my Mom in the process, you know?

    Married my best friend 04/28/11 at the Gran Bahia Principe Runaway Bay

    #2 Sax Lady

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      Posted 25 June 2010 - 11:40 PM

      Sorry that your going through this with your mother but maybe you should just go with your sister and bridesmaid since your mom has bailed twice. You could always bring her with you when you go in for your fitting. I hope everything works out for you.

      #3 LA923

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        Posted 25 June 2010 - 11:59 PM

        I agree with Sax Lady. Go shopping for your dress. If she has bailed twice, no reason to wait around for her, especially because being someone's golf partner is not exactly a super important reason to cancel. Enjoy your engagement and do what makes YOU happy. Best of luck.

        #4 skadow

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          Posted 26 June 2010 - 12:10 AM

          I am sorry to hear this =( you have every right to be upset with her..and don't feel bad about it. Your suppose to be the princess at the moment. This is your time. Its her fault she canceled. I think you should go with your sister. This is supposed to be all about you. Its the one time you shouldn't worry about other people...well to a point =)

          summer may only be 4 months a year, but your only going to be a bride once in a life time. Live it up girl!

          Edit...Oh and make sure you guys go out to lunch afterwords so you can hear all about how amazing you look in the dress and how crazy you are going to make your FI! <3 Its your day!

          #5 tris

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            Posted 26 June 2010 - 04:32 PM

            Thanks for your advice ladies.
            My sister and I were going to go the beach today but since it was raining we decided to head downtown and do some shopping. We found my dress!! Sample sale $599 for a $1050 dress. Love it. Hopefully my mom doesn't take offense... *sigh*

            Married my best friend 04/28/11 at the Gran Bahia Principe Runaway Bay

            #6 Catalyst

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              Posted 27 June 2010 - 10:26 AM

              Congrats on finding the dress! :-) sounds like a good find. I'm sure your mom will be fine. It doesn't sound like weddings are her thing so I hope she'll just be happy that you managed to find something you like.

              #7 hockeymom97

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                Posted 27 June 2010 - 10:53 AM

                Congrats on finding your dress (and at a great price as well!!) and I wouldn't worry about hurting your mom at this point. After all, you did invite her and SHE was the one who bailed on you not once but twice. I know it was important to have her there but you can't control what other people do, and like someone else mentioned, you can always invite her to your fitting appt. so she can see the dress as well.
                Heather & Eric ~ May 5th, 2011 ~ Beaches Turks & Caicos

                #8 Kat81

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                  Posted 27 June 2010 - 11:02 AM

                  Congrats on your dress. I am glad you went and didn't wait around for your Mom. :)

                  #9 tris

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                    Posted 27 June 2010 - 12:03 PM

                    Thanks again ladies.
                    I did end up talking to my Mom and letting her know that I found it. Honestly, like I said, she's like my best friend and I talk to her almost everyday (that was one of the big reasons this hurt so much). She was upset. She let me know that she had really wanted to come, and I told her that she really didn't show it and it really hurt me. She thought that I went out to get a dress to get "revenge" on her.

                    Either way, after a long argument over the phone, not to mention my sister talking to her, she finally calmed down and sent me a few text messages while I was at work letting me know that she was sorry for hurting me and giving the impression that she didn't care, and that she wanted to come in on Tuesday, take the day off and see the dress (and that she may cry).

                    So yah, after a heated evening, everything is good.

                    I'm starting thinking she's in the early stages of menopause... wow.
                    Married my best friend 04/28/11 at the Gran Bahia Principe Runaway Bay

                    #10 Thomasjsgirl

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                      Posted 27 June 2010 - 04:11 PM

                      I had to laugh when I read your comment about the early stages of menopause! It's possible she's edgy because of that, but as a mom myself, I would probably put it down to the fact that your date is still far off, and she probably just didn't feel the urgency that you do right now. I'm glad that you were able to work it out and that you both understand there were hurt feelings on both sides. Oh, and BTW, that dress is gorgeous. Good for you for finding it on sale too!
                      Lucy & Tom - Married 24.11.08
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