I just lost my Papa :-(
Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:39 PM
I feel like I've been robbed. He's my last grandparent and I lost all my others ones so early. My first grandma died from Lou Garigs disease (ALS), my Baba (dad's mom) died from Cancer, and my other grandpa died from a mixture of cancer and heart problems very suddenly two years ago. My Papa was healthy and there were no warning signs. I thought I had forever with him. His body just decided to stop I guess. I just really wanted my last grandparent to see me get married. My dad's depressed because he wanted his dad to see his first son retire (dad's retiring in two weeks and would have had more time to spend with him). My dad was crying and he never cries. He was relieved to see my Baba go, because she was suffering. But Papa was just silently taken. I'm sorry to go on and on, but I am an only child and sometimes I feel so alone in these situations. I feel like an entire generation has been ripped from my family and now the torch is passed down just a bit closer to me. I feel I have less security and now I'm turning into the wise one that the younger ones turn to. I just feel lost. :-(
Thanks for listening...
Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:51 PM
Know this--The Lord will never put more on you than you can handle. Although you are hurting right now, it WILL get better with time. The good thing is that your Papa got to know that you are happy and will be well taken care of. He also got to know that your dad is retiring. He may not be here in the physical to witness this, but he will forever be in your hearts. I will pray that God gives you and your family strength through this difficult time.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:57 PM
It must be really hard for you right now. I hope your FI is being really supportive and giving you lots of hugs. It must be especially hard because the situation because it just doesn’t seem far, and its not. It’s not far at all. And you have every right to be as mad or upset as you are.
You said you feel like you have to me the older adult one now... especially with your dad so sad, but make sure you give your self as much time as you need to grieve. You really need to take care of yourself first. You can help others even better when you’re ok first.
Take a few days off work if you can / want, vent on here as much as you want and think how lucky you are to have your FI. As one part of your life ends, another is just starting. And I am sure your Papa wants to see you happy and can't wait to watch your wedding from heaven.
Please Let us know if there is anything we can do to help. I have found holding a pet / FI / or even my stuffed panda bear and loving something during hard times really helps.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:59 PM
When I was in my first year of university he suddenly had a stroke. I got the phone call and literally ran 2km to my BF's house to get his car and get over there. I spent the next few months by his side and almost failed every class I was in but didn't care. It was so sudden as well because he's an extremely young, healthy man, eats well, keeps busy, and had absolutely no health problems. Today - almost 6 years later - he's still in a wheelchair, half paralyzed, but alive, and I thank God everyday that I still have him in my life. He made it through an intense stroke that the doctor's gave him a less than 25% survival rate.
Sorry for my rambling... I guess it just proves how important grandparents can be in our lives. I'm so sorry you won't have your Papa, but I'm sure he'll be looking down from heaven and smiling.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 01:19 PM
i always have so much regret that i did not spend enough time with him.
i am so sorry for your loss.
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Posted 24 June 2010 - 01:31 PM
Posted 24 June 2010 - 01:43 PM
Cherish your memories of your Papa. Grieve and heal and know that somewhere from up above he will be watching you walk down the aisle and every day hereafter. He lives on in your heart. I'm very sorry for you loss.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 01:44 PM
Just know that there are plenty of people around you, especially here on bdw, that are here to love, encourage and support you.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 01:47 PM
I believe the same as msglave, and that God will not give you anything you cannot handle. We are all human, and we must grieve, but in time, you will have strength, and each day there will be a little less pain and the positive memories, the laughs, and smiles will start to shine through.
Posted 24 June 2010 - 03:16 PM
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