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KimmyD

I Really Need MIL Advice Please!

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I understand your frustration completely, but by sending that letter you will only create more drama. She is going to regret not coming to her son's big day, but she has to deal with it, not you! You need to enjoy your day and celebrate your love with your FI in paradise!

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My FI said this to me when I talked to him about this: (Almost exactly what he said anyway)

 

I donâ€t want them there at this point. They have made their choice and choose to not be part of our lives. I was hurt and angry, but now see it for what it is. If they were to book now because of guilt I think they would make it miserable for us. I would regret the results of doing it. The last thing I want is to have someone be a part of our day that doesnâ€t want to be there. My father is going to be there and is really looking forward to it and I am happy with that. You are the only person I need to be there! I want this to be the best day of our lives!

 

I guess we move forward. If he is ok with it then I am also. I just want him to be happy.

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Awww, that's very sweet of him to say and super levelheaded. Sounds like he didn't expect much different from his family.

 

I'm glad that he (you too) is at peace with it!

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The good new is that you and your fi are on the same side! I'm sure it still hurts, but you can't make people love you, or appreciate you. It's her loss if she doesn't want to open her heart and arms and welcome you into them.

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I'm glad to hear that FI approached it so maturely and happy that it all worked out and you both can have peace of mind that your day is going to be fine.

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Hi - I thought I'd chime in because I'm experiencing the same thing...in my situation my future in laws doing this because they want a reaction from us - they want to stir up drama and make a scene. So no matter how hurt we are that they're doing this (and personally I feel like this is the straw and I want them both out of our lives) we refuse to give them what they want...attention. It's depressing and I'm so sorry for you and your fiance, my heart really breaks for your fiance (and mine) because I can't understand how a parent can treat thier child this way.

 

My advice would be to not fuel the fire with a letter. Good luck with everything and keep us posted. Your wedding is going to be beautiful and amazing!!

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Yup, I'm with the majority on this one. That really sucks but I think the email will just make it worse. If anyone says anything, it should be your FI. It's his family and I think it's best to let him deal with it.

You will have a beautiful wedding and hopefully she will come around and realize what she will miss by being this obstinate and change her mind. If not, don't let it ruin your day. No wedding is perfect and you can't control everything. Just keep your spirits up, be positive and trust that everything will be all that you and your FI hoped it would.

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Brilliant email - but agree with the other girls and your choice not to send it!

 

I do this a lot of the time (slightly strange I know!!) when I'm angry or upset I write a letter to that person or an email - but then bin it or delete it! I find it helps you vent your anger and then you can sit back read through it and realise maybe you slightly over-reacted - which always seems to be the case with my letters!

 

In your case, you have every right to be upset and angry it's your wedding! But you sound like you've made the right choice to talk with your FI and he seems so level headed about it all even though it must hurt like hell! Sounds like your a lucky girl!

Good luck - hope all goes well in the end!

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