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How do I include future SILs in ceremony?


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#1 ChicagoPT

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    Posted 10 June 2010 - 09:29 PM

    My FI and I originally decided to not have a wedding party. Then after thinking about it, we changed our minds and chose each of our 3 closest friends (one is mine is my sister in law (brothers wife)). My FI has 3 sisters and we werent going to include them because that would make 6 BMs and way too many people. I am not really close with them either. Now FIs stepmom is making all these comments about how we are going to regret not having our family in the wedding party. Ughhh! She definately let us know how disappointed she is with our decision. I really dont think his sisters care much. So what I decided is to have my dad and brother walk me down the aisle. Is that weird? I am pretty close to my brother. Now what should I let his sisters do for the ceremony? Anyone else run into this problem? (his sisters range in age from 16-32). Thanks for ideas and letting me vent!

    #2 JanineA

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      Posted 10 June 2010 - 09:59 PM

      Wow, this is a tough one. My FSIL is one of my BM's but my FI only has one sister. Is there perhaps a poem being read at your ceremony or a verse from the bible, that perhaps each of them can read. I really think you should do what makes you and FI comfortable and not feel pressured to include them if you don't want to but it can't hurt. Or perhaps they can read speeches about their brother during the reception (usually the FI's best man gives a speech, it may be touching to hear them give a speech about looking up to him as a big brother and their excitment to welcome you as a sister).

      #3 debbmach

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        Posted 10 June 2010 - 10:05 PM

        I"m not really having a wedding party, just my sister as my MOH. We're having his sister as our MC. I think she was a bit disappointed to not be a bridesmaid so that's the role we found for her. She was pretty excited to be included. Maybe you can have them be in charge on the day of the wedding to make sure everything goes the way you want it to be, sort of keep the WC in check. It's something minor but they may feel more included. Are there any other minor jobs they can be in charge of?
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        #4 ChicagoPT

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          Posted 10 June 2010 - 10:10 PM

          I guess I would want them to do something during the ceremony. One of them could read a verse from the bible but what can the other 2 do? Im looking through various ceremony scripts to see what different things everyone did but havent come across anything yet.

          #5 JanineA

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            Posted 10 June 2010 - 10:20 PM

            Some of the things in the wedding are hand ceremony, candle ceremony, sand ceremony (though I think the sand ceremony is done by the mothers). I think maybe if you did a hand ceremony one could read it to you and the other to you FI. Or I like the idea of one of them MCing the reception. Maybe you can have one in the ceremony and two in the reception. One MCing and the other giving a speech. I have to think some more...hmmm.

            #6 jmiranda

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              Posted 10 June 2010 - 10:28 PM

              How about doing the lazo ceremony and having one of your FSIL's but the lazo on you and future hubby and the other read the lazo ceremony. Here is information on it:

              LAZO CEREMONY

              At this the time _________and________ would like to symbolize their union with a Mexican wedding tradition called the Lazo, or Lasso Ceremony. ______and ______ WILL BE BOUND BY_______________________? "The lasso of rosary", symbolizes the inseparable nature of the newly married couple.

              As part of the ceremony to symbolize unity, a large loop of rosary beads is placed in a figure eight shape around the necks of the couple after they have exchanged their vows. The symbolism of the lasso is to show the union and protection of marriage. Special additional members of the wedding party may be in charge of "lassoing" the Bride and Groom together after they kneel for the wedding prayer. They drape what is usually a white satin circle of cord around the shoulders of the kneeling Bride and Groom, groom's shoulder's first. The lasso may also be tied around their wrists. The couple wears the lasso throughout the remainder of the service. The loop is symbolic of their love which should bind the couple together everyday as they equally share the responsibility of marriage for the rest of their lives.

              At the end of the ceremony, the lasso is removed by the couple which placed the lasso. The lasso is given to the Bride as a memento of her becoming the mistress of the groom's heart and home and shows their promise to always be together side-by-side.

              AFTER THE LAZO CEREMONY

              Let the union of binding together of this lasso of rosary be an inspiration to you both. Remember the holiness necessary to preserve your new family can only be obtained by mutual sacrifice and love.

              #7 KarenM

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                Posted 11 June 2010 - 09:31 AM

                We each have 3 siblings, though my sister couldn't come. We had one of my brother's as a groomsman & the other did a reading. DH's brother was the best man & we included his 2 sisters by having one do a reading & the other read our sand ceremony.

                #8 ChicagoPT

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                  Posted 11 June 2010 - 03:05 PM

                  thanks girls!! all of this helps. so Im thinking one will read a bible verse, one will read the sand ceremony, and the other..not sure yet.

                  #9 Tennyt1

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                    Posted 11 June 2010 - 03:29 PM

                    My dad and brother are walking me also, and I don't care if people think it is weird. Besides my FI they are the most important people to me. Future SIL's will not be taking any part in the wedding besides being a guest. Some of the kids may, but the are NOT. At this point I dont even want to know their opinons....sorry I'm just a little frustrated with some poeple now.
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                    #10 ChicagoPT

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                      Posted 12 June 2010 - 04:13 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Tennyt1
                      My dad and brother are walking me also, and I don't care if people think it is weird. Besides my FI they are the most important people to me. Future SIL's will not be taking any part in the wedding besides being a guest. Some of the kids may, but the are NOT. At this point I dont even want to know their opinons....sorry I'm just a little frustrated with some poeple now.
                      Im glad you are doing that too! I just dont know what to do with FI's mom. I was sooooo mad when she told me that I would regret not having them in the ceremony. Then I calmed down and decided to have them do something small.




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