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venting bride to be about neg. guest comments

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I am sorta glad to hear that other people are getting grief from their friends and family. Im glad I'm not alone.

We always planned on going away to get married. When we got engaged, we considered having a local wedding to make everyone happy. But as we started planning we were hearing from people..."Well i hope you dont expect us to stay after the dance and break down tables?", from our parents " I hope you dont expect us to pay for anything?"... so F&*K IT!! We went back to our original plan of having a destination wedding. Where WE would be in control of OUR wedding! When we told everyone about it, 85% of the people were "on-board". we heard " We will be there for sure". "It will be awesome, cant wait". "just let us know when and where and we will be there".

So I did ALOT of research and fell in love with ROR. so i contacted a TA and got a "discounted group rate quote".. the only catch was that in order to secure the discounted rate we needed 10 people to put down a 200$ deposit( us included..so really we only needed 8. Now all of a sudden people are saying..." well, I dont know what we are doing next Jan, its kinda alot of notice dont you think?", "Its so expensive", "You mean we have to pay our own way there"..etc. So coming up with the 8 people was impossible. Can you believe it? 8 people(FAMILY included). thankfully the travel supplier extended our quote an extra week and i think now, finally, we have our 10 secured. Do people not realize that the discounted group rate helps them, not us? We dont care how much it costs, WE ARE GOING TO JAMAICA TO GET MARRIED, regardless. Of course it is going to be a little more expensive, its a 5* resort. I only getting married once, im not going to downgrade to a 3* just to make it like 200-300$ cheaper for my guests. Is that selfish of me? So anyways now the website is out and there have been quite a few people that have viewed it(like 94 in 3 days)...so far the grand total of RSVP's= 2!! And its not like it is a brand new info to everyone. We told everyone 2 months ago that we are having a DW and to watch for the website....this is where i heard all the "YES, we are in for sure", we'll watch for the site", from everyone. So i am really frustrated.

Now I'm hearing , "well you plan on having a reception when you get back right?", "for all the people that cant make it Jamaica?"um....no, i wasnt planning on it. Why plan 2 weddings?

so tell me everyone....Am I being selfish or unreasonable about our DW?

 

ps. sorry for all the venting, just needed to get it off my chest!

 

our website isShane Wood & Melanie Wrubleski's Wedding Website - WedQuarters

Do you think it is TOO expensive? In comparison to your DW guest prices? Help!!

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Mel, don't even worry about it, we are all going through the same thing.

 

Stick to your guns, girl!! This is YOUR day, YOUR wedding, not anyone else's!!

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Originally Posted by melwru View Post
I am sorta glad to hear that other people are getting grief from their friends and family. Im glad I'm not alone.
We always planned on going away to get married. When we got engaged, we considered having a local wedding to make everyone happy. But as we started planning we were hearing from people..."Well i hope you dont expect us to stay after the dance and break down tables?", from our parents " I hope you dont expect us to pay for anything?"... so F&*K IT!! We went back to our original plan of having a destination wedding. Where WE would be in control of OUR wedding! When we told everyone about it, 85% of the people were "on-board". we heard " We will be there for sure". "It will be awesome, cant wait". "just let us know when and where and we will be there".
So I did ALOT of research and fell in love with ROR. so i contacted a TA and got a "discounted group rate quote".. the only catch was that in order to secure the discounted rate we needed 10 people to put down a 200$ deposit( us included..so really we only needed 8. Now all of a sudden people are saying..." well, I dont know what we are doing next Jan, its kinda alot of notice dont you think?", "Its so expensive", "You mean we have to pay our own way there"..etc. So coming up with the 8 people was impossible. Can you believe it? 8 people(FAMILY included). thankfully the travel supplier extended our quote an extra week and i think now, finally, we have our 10 secured. Do people not realize that the discounted group rate helps them, not us? We dont care how much it costs, WE ARE GOING TO JAMAICA TO GET MARRIED, regardless. Of course it is going to be a little more expensive, its a 5* resort. I only getting married once, im not going to downgrade to a 3* just to make it like 200-300$ cheaper for my guests. Is that selfish of me? So anyways now the website is out and there have been quite a few people that have viewed it(like 94 in 3 days)...so far the grand total of RSVP's= 2!! And its not like it is a brand new info to everyone. We told everyone 2 months ago that we are having a DW and to watch for the website....this is where i heard all the "YES, we are in for sure", we'll watch for the site", from everyone. So i am really frustrated.
Now I'm hearing , "well you plan on having a reception when you get back right?", "for all the people that cant make it Jamaica?"um....no, i wasnt planning on it. Why plan 2 weddings?
so tell me everyone....Am I being selfish or unreasonable about our DW?

ps. sorry for all the venting, just needed to get it off my chest!

our website isShane Wood & Melanie Wrubleski's Wedding Website - WedQuarters
Do you think it is TOO expensive? In comparison to your DW guest prices? Help!!
I don't think the prices are too expensive. We tried to do the group rate too, but weren't able to because everyone is traveling on different dates. We didn't have enough people to commit to the same schedule. No matter what kind of wedding you plan there is always going to be someone who will make a comment. Therefore, you have to do what you want to do. Those who want to be there will come, but what matters in the end is that you enjoy your day and you're married.

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Our prices are close and we are out of Toronto and Calgary. I am soo F#!*ing fed up with people, mostly my family, who seem to think a DW is there opportunity to complain about how unfair their lives our.

 

My personal favourite - "If your family was really important you shouldn't have a destination wedding." My aunt actually ripped a shred off my parents (who are on board, paying for the wedding, paying for my 78 grandparents to go etc.) and told my mom that my parents should pay for everyone. WTF!!!

 

I cried so many nights over this in the beginning. It was such a waste to worry b/c ppl will never change - esp the ones who say they can't afford it and then take a 3 week trip to Africa.

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I've heard a few negative comments such as "I just wouldn't expect my guests to have to pay anything to attend my daughters wedding".

 

When we sat down with my daughter and her fiance to discuss what to do about the wedding one of her biggest concerns was that the grooms family might not be able to afford to attend. I told my daughter to plan the wedding she wanted which was on the beach. My opinion is that those that WANT to be there will find a way.

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I've heard all the negative comments about us having a DW. When I had one of my bridezilla moments, I replied to the person saying ' Well, we will weed out all the phony people in our lives and after the wedding we'll know who our TRUE friends are". I never heard a negative comment after that.

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Originally Posted by ticia277 View Post
I've heard all the negative comments about us having a DW. When I had one of my bridezilla moments, I replied to the person saying ' Well, we will weed out all the phony people in our lives and after the wedding we'll know who our TRUE friends are". I never heard a negative comment after that.
um, hilarious. i am going to have to come up with some smart @$$ things like that to say because i am at my wit's end. the comments never came from friends, all of our negative guests have been from my family -- who fully expect an AHR, which we refuse to do. We will gladly have family who can't make it over for dinner, but we arent throwing another freakin reception. my one aunt who is throwing my shower (she told me she was, not asked if i wanted her to) is not coming to our wedding because she claims they cant afford to, yet they are finishing their basement to turn it into a luxurious $40K SECOND family room, when both of their kids are grown and not living at home. she repeatedly annoys me with emails about my shower which is at the end of june -- HELLO it is JANUARY! and my 80 year old grandmother is racist so the fact that im marrying a mexican is not going over well with her, and apparently she told all my cousins that anyone who voted for barack obama for president was getting cut out of her will. WTF. keep your money grams, i dont need that OR your old school backwards negativity.

i just have to let it roll off my back, but it's hard. i never knew how horrible people in my family were until i got engaged!

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Originally Posted by ticia277 View Post
I've heard all the negative comments about us having a DW. When I had one of my bridezilla moments, I replied to the person saying ' Well, we will weed out all the phony people in our lives and after the wedding we'll know who our TRUE friends are". I never heard a negative comment after that.

That's funny because it's actually TRUE!!

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