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would you be mad?


1elephant
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so a friend's wedding is this weekend in maine (she lives there). we've been really good friends (so i thought) for years and have the kind of friendship where it doesn't matter if we talk every day or once a month...much to my surprise, i wasn't asked to be part of the wedding party. i don't know how many people are actually in the wedding party, but do know that it includes at least one college friend. i was taken aback, but kinda happy that i didn't have to deal w/ all the costs and stuff.

so i went to the shower and felt totally out of place. i was unable to make it to the bachelorette party, and i'll be honest, i wasn't sure if i'd be comfortable there anyway.

so when i got the invite, we decided that we'd leave friday and stay till sunday (6 hr drive). wasn't specifically invited to the rehearsal dinner, but when i told her i'd be coming, she said "oh, there's a dinner, when you check in, you'll get the info", so we figured we'd leave and get there around 6 in time for dinner - good thing i sent her a text today b/c it's a picnic that starts at 3:30 and ends at 7....SO, was it worth it to drive up a day early and spend $150 on the hotel plus whatever it would cost for entertainment (aka liquor) later in the night just to feel uncomfortable at a picnic?

so i cancelled the hotel for the first night and we'll leave early sat. morning in time to get to the hotel to get ready. to be honest, in addition to feeling uncomfortable, i'd rather not spend the extra $200ish - i decided to take advantage of being a teacher and haven't worked all summer!

SO. do i call her and bother her in order to tell her that we're not coming till saturday? she's already at the hotel getting things together...AND, even more important, will she be mad?

 

would you call? would you be mad? AHHHHH!!! totally stressing over this!

(sorry so long btw)

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Well I personally would not get mad because I am not like that and I am easy going...second of all, you were not asked to be in the wedding, therefore your only obligation is to come to the wedding. The rehearsal dinner is usually for the family and bridal party. Third, she never even told you what time it was and if you hadn't texted her you wouldn't have even known.

 

So I think you have to do what is best for you as a guest of her wedding!

 

As far as calling her, I would just send her a text message.

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Ummm... call her and say you won't be there until Saturday.

I think I would appreciate the call or at least to be informed.

 

She shouldn't be mad, things happen. If she is, well... she waited until the last minute to give you the details.

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i might just give her a courtesy call to say you won't be there until Fri (in case she might worry?). i would not be mad if i were her AT ALL - she didn't exactly go out of her way to invite you for the RD - so she certainly can't be mad that you don't attend.

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I don't think she would be mad.. after all she didn't ask you to be in her bridal party. If you were her MOH then she maybe upset (not with you) that you couldn't go. I personally wouldn't go if it was such a hassel... I would call her and let her know your situation. she should understand.

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I can see why you're stressing out, I would be too! I haven't read any of the others girls advice but I hate dealing with conflict so I would text her that you're not coming till saturday. I know I'm awful... and hopefully she's busy enough with other stuff not to care. But I also hope she understands just how much you're spedning on being apart of her wedding. I am completely understanding of all my BM's and their expenses; I insisted on purchasing their dresses and I didn't force any of them to come to Mexico with us ( 1 cancelled but I'm not mad at her).

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)

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I say call her. it'd just be polite to let her know you won't be there Friday night, but you look forward to seeing her on her big day Saturday. You'll probably get her voicemail anyway.

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