| Originally Posted by ThefutureMrsBrown |
Thanks Jennybelli1 for mentioning the previous threads posted by Jennandmike08 and I had to go back and read them â€œSo Distraught Have to Cancelâ€ and â€œNo Engagement Ring Syndromeâ€. Iâ€™m glad that the therapist has been helpful. It seems, based on your posts, there have been issues in the relationship for quite some time now. Your FI is in NO position to marry you or anyone else for that matter. You stated he was suicidal and feeling less than a man. Men want to be the provider and protectors and if he feels he canâ€™t do these things of course heâ€™s going to feel inadequate. Based on your previous post, your FI has never proposed to you or bought you an engagement ring and youâ€™ve had to cancel your wedding once before. Those are clear signs that HE DOESNâ€™T want to get married. With all that being said, Iâ€™m wondering if youâ€™re just in love with the fantasy or idea of getting married that you canâ€™t see this man clearly doesnâ€™t need to be pressured into marrying you. Let him get his self together as a whole complete man. I know you donâ€™t mind paying all the bills, but no father wants his daughter to get married to a man who canâ€™t provide for her and it seems like your FI feels the same way. I know youâ€™ve done a lot of planning and you state your family wonâ€™t understand, but itâ€™s really not about them itâ€™s about your happiness. You may want to seek some one on one therapy for yourself as Iâ€™m sensing you may have some underlying self-esteem issues. Iâ€™m glad youâ€™ve decided to have a spiritual base as God is real and prayer works. Iâ€™m sure all will work out as God intended, best of luck to you and your FI.
Thanks for attempting to see through previous posts, but I'm not sure you've read through this one totally. He stated in an email that he thought he was feeling suicidal, but it turns out he isn't. He has reassured everyone thats not the case at all. I am not in love with the fantasy of getting married at all. I have let him call the shots on this one. I have asked him and followed his lead, hence my asking him if this is what he wanted to do, AND stating it was ok to cancel (even before the invitations were sent). As I stated before, had you read through, we are taking it day by day. I never said we aren't going to postpone it at all. It would suck, but its not out of the question. As for me, I don't see why you'd say I have underlying self-esteem issues. I don't think thats the case. Issues with dealing with this, yes. Self-esteem, no.