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What should I do?

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#11 Sloan

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  • 1,279 posts

    Posted 06 June 2010 - 11:30 PM

    I thought our DW would be a great opportunity for people to get the H*ll out of freezing cold Canada at the beginning of spring, but most people just pissed and moaned about the cost or they couldn't get vacation in the middle of the year and why weren't we having an AHR. I told them all too bad. Our wedding, our decision and nothing was changing our minds. We only had 9 people come to our wedding in Jamaica and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. As far as I'm concerned everyone else missed out. A traditional wedding was NOT anywhere near my radar! Good luck with your decision and just remember to make yourselves happy, not anyone else. You'll get grief about whatever decision you choose!

    #12 CourtneyV

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    • 4,979 posts

      Posted 07 June 2010 - 01:48 AM

      It's true, you're not going to be able to make everyone happy. It doesn't matter what you do. But you've also got to think that everyone is thrilled at the idea of it, they probably even envision themselves on the beach in St. Thomas, but when it comes down to whatever their current life situation is and the cost of the trip, people start backing out. It's just something that comes with having a DW, and you really can't take offense to it. I think people genuinely want to go, but it's just not a viable option for them.

      If you still find yourself truly caring how people feel about your wedding, there are a few options... you can look at other resorts (even other islands/locations?) if you really want to. St. Thomas was our first pick too, but we found it to be a little more $$ than we knew we could spend, and likely most of our guests as well. We changed our location early on, but that was OUR decision and we absolutely loved our final wedding location. If you're set on St. Thomas, don't change it.

      The other option is an AHR (at home reception) for your guests to attend. So you can still have the wedding you dreamed of on the beaches of St. Thomas, and you guests can still celebrate afterward, at home with you guys.

      The way I see it, if you plan a DW, you have to go into it expecting that it'll only be you and your FH... everyone else is a bonus! You really can't try to please everyone - you'll just end up stressing yourself out!!
      Happily Married since May 9, 2008
      Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010

      #13 rosieposie

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      • 649 posts

        Posted 07 June 2010 - 02:46 AM

        don't worry! i'm sure in one way or another other brides here went through the same thing. i know i did, but at the end of the day, it's what the 2 of you want.

        it's easier said than done (i'm still working on it myself) but with a DW, realize there will be bumps along the way, but with some TLC, you can work through things without too many hurt feelings.

        perhaps look at other locations in a more affordable for all price range? then honeymoon in st. thomas?

        take care!

        #14 loua4

        • Jr. Member
        • 397 posts

          Posted 07 June 2010 - 06:53 AM

          I was feeling the same way. But I have come to realize that it is not about them. This is about you and your FI. And I know my I will have a great time with those who have booked already. Head up and it will still be fine in the end.

          #15 JanineA

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,482 posts

            Posted 10 June 2010 - 04:39 PM

            Rule #1 in announcing you're having a DW is that people will always complain about the cost. I agree with all the ladies...do what makes you and FI happy and in the end if they love and support you and are able to make it, they will.

            #16 mnmcutienyc

            • Newbie
            • 9 posts

              Posted 13 June 2010 - 11:46 PM

              We are doing an 8-day cruise out of NY and getting married on the beach of St Thomas. We tried to take into consideration the fact that a DW is inconvenient for most so we tried to work around it. We thought that choosing a cruise out of our hometown of NY rather than our regular cruise port of FL for convenience for our guests would be best.. We thought that by choosing a month like May when spring break was over would be good... We even went as far as taking into account that people would have their tax refunds by then to have extra pocket money. Still, we got grief from those around us when they heard that we were still going through with our plans. We had to do what we knew would make us happy and be selfish for just this one time.

              What we chose to do was pay for our immediate family members to join us; my parents, his parents as well as my sister and her family. My best friend and her family booked right away as soon as I told her. These are the only people we felt that we HAD to have with us. Invites will be out shortly and I would love to have all of my friends and family share in our wedding, but if they can't we understood that would happen by sacrificing and doing a DW. At least we made sure that our parents will be with us! We only finalized all our details last week and so far we have 12 guests booked!!!

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