Need to Vent

[jesswins]

So its been a while since I have been on here. I either get very obsessed with something or I am very lazy about it. Anyway..... My FMIL just got back from Ireland, my FI was born there and moved here when he was 5. My FI has a huge family in Ireland on both his father's side and his mothers side. Last year many of them came from Ireland to L.A. for his sisters wedding. Now my FMIL has said things to me like well I don't know if the family will go "all the way to Mexico" for the wedding. She just got back from Ireland yesterday and told me everyone is so happy for us but wondered why we were having the wedding in Mexico and that its was too far away. Excuse me its a two hour flight from L.A. . You're telling me they can fly all the way to L.A. from Ireland but not fly an extra 2 hours, Give me a Break!!!! It makes no sense whatsoever!!! It irritated me because I know some people think a DW is different and some don;t understand it. More than 3/4 of our guests live outside of L.A. so regardless of where our wedding was they would need to travel. Thanks for letting me vent as I know you will all understand.

jess

[gkashmira]

We had a similar issues but in the end the people who were meant to be there were there. Honestly I think it just SOUNDS more difficult - they know how to fly to LA. But you can show them that is really is no different (especially to Cabo!) by sending them itineraries, or having them work with a TA, or even looking up a flight online and just sending it to them and say "here's a flight from Dublin to Cabo - look it's actually the same amount of flying time as Dublin to LA" or something like that.

 

You could even suggest that people come to LA and then fly from here if they REALLY want to! I think people are just confused by DWs and it takes them awhile to warm up to the idea.

[starchild]

I think there is definitely this segment of people who don't get DWs because it's a novel thing to most of them. It's just as significant as a traditional in-town wedding - I would argue more so because they tend to be more intimate, or at least full of people who care enough to make the trip.

 

They're coming from Ireland so it makes no difference if it's L.A. or Mexico or Canada really...once you've committed to flying 10+ hours what's a few more? Sorry you're going through this. It was my least favorite phase of DW planning - people who don't get it.

[jesswins]

Thanks, I know they don't mean to be insensitive but I am a very sensitive person so statements like these really irriate me especially since they manke no sense. Oh well if they don't come they will be missing out!

jess

[Martha]

That doesn't make much sense....do you think they know that Mexico is only hours away? Or maybe it would be too much travel to fly to Ca. then to Mexico?

 

Do you think money could be an issue?

[~Melissa~]

Hmmm all of our guests are from different places hence why we decided to go with a DW. So I definitley agree with you there it makes sense to go somewhere tropical and make it a sweet vacation for everyone involved as well.

 

As for your FMIL I think she and the fam will change their mind, it IS THEIR son's wedding. That's a very importnt day in his life and I'm sure they will want to take part in it. I think people just like to complain when it comes to decisions they don't get to make. So try not to take it to heart girl!

[Jessica]

The traveling aspect of DW's are always a big deal to some people. I had a few complain about it too, but they came anyway. Most peope will think it's awesome though.

 

Maybe they were hoping, since you want to have a DW, you'd do it in Ireland or something!

 

Just politely tell them you are having it all the way in Mexico because that is what you want for your wedding. No further explanation is needed about your wedding decisions. Invite them, if they want to come, they will, if they don't, oh well, they are missing out!

[jesswins]

Thanks everyone. I think some people just want to complain.

jess

[Nrvsbride]

Jess I agree with Jessica, I think they were secretly hoping you would have your DW in Ireland. Also its possible that even though LA and Cabo are not far, they are not crazy about Mexico whereas they have been to LA and they like it. I know that probably makes no sense at all, but some people are weird about Mexico, they don't like it. Have they ever been to Mexico? Maybe you could address some of their concerns and show them that its a beautiful place that they will all enjoy. Just hang in there, they will come around.

[jesswins]

I think its just an excuse and that even if it were in L.A. they wouldn't come because they were out here last year for my FSIL's wedding. This way its on us for having a DW not them for not coming. I am so happy that I have this place to vent about these things as others may not understand as you all do.

Thanks,

Jess