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Sorry I need to really really vent!!


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#1 jodieP

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    Posted 20 May 2010 - 06:09 PM

    My parents haven't booked up yet!!!!!!!

    18 MONTHS FRICKEN NOTICE!!

    well 10 months has passed.....

    7mnths 3 wks to go........

    so far it all excuses mostly they couldnt afford it... so me and FI are racking our brains to find a way to pay some of the cost for them.......

    and today my mum tells me she's paying £400 for a mobile phone for my sister!!! really!! WTF!

    It was the straw that broke my back!! it turned into a huge fight and she turned it on me saying how selfish I am etc etc....

    Im so upset and furious!

    If my sister (BM) wont be there and my dad not there to give me away with my mum watching then I'd rather know now, more time to deal with it and try to accept it....not that I ever could cause it would break my heart if they weren't there on my wedding day!!

    Sorry I had to get this out! FI has bore the brunt of this all day!!

    Jodie.xx
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    #2 AishaB

    AishaB
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      Posted 20 May 2010 - 06:46 PM

      That is a tough situation, but I do agree with you that they should tell you now. Also, I think you did the right thing by talking about it right away when it happened. I do hope that everything works out, and your family can attend the wedding.

      Sending you positive thoughts
      BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

      #3 jodieP

      jodieP
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        Posted 20 May 2010 - 06:56 PM

        Thank you Aisha! Positive thought are very much needed! I keep going over and over it and getting more sad/angry about it!!

        However! It is a godsend to have this board here!! :)

        Im def taking a leaf from your book and trying to be positive about it! No matter the outcome! Thankyou!

        Jodie.xx
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        24 Booked plus bride & groom

        #4 krizstyling

        krizstyling
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          Posted 20 May 2010 - 06:59 PM

          Ugh, I would normally say, it's still early and to give them time but if they are complaining about money issues and then turning around to buy your sister a phone, I think it's time to stop talking and start writing.

          What I mean by that is, sit down, open up a word document and start typing a letter directly to your mother. Let her know why you chose a destination wedding, how important this day is to you, what you envision, how it is your vision and you couldn't imagine them not being there.

          The reason I say write a letter to her is because sometimes people tend not to HEAR you when you're talking, instead they are forming a line of defense. When you write it down and give it to them (send preferrably) there is no way they can open up their mouth to come with a defense. and if you're genuine and heartfelt in the letter, I think it really has a chance of getting through to her.

          I wish you the best hon!!

          #5 Sheree10

          Sheree10
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            Posted 20 May 2010 - 07:06 PM

            Ahhhh so sorry to hear about this. This must be difficult for you but I hope it all works out. Let your parents know how you feel and how much you would like them to be there. It's all up to them in the end.
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            #6 Mrs Price 2010

            Mrs Price 2010
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              Posted 21 May 2010 - 07:50 AM

              I would of reacted the same as you JodieP - It's your wedding, their daughter's wedding, you'd think they'd be first to book!
              I do agree with Krizstyling as well, try writing a letter will help you explain how you feel and will give your Mum chance to think about it from your point of view.

              This site is great and you'll get some good advice, they best I've read whilst reading posts about family not coming (I have my own issue's with my Sister.... but that's a long story!) is that they are the one's that are going to regret it in the long run, you and you FI will be there and that's the important bit, imagine when you get home and along with the rest of the guests and your looking through photo's and talking about the whole day..... the people who missed out are going to be the ones regretting it!

              Good luck

              #7 starchild

              starchild

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                Posted 21 May 2010 - 07:52 AM

                I didn't even start planning the wedding until 9 months before so 7 months does seem like ample time to book, but I hear you and I think it stinks that they seemingly put your sister's cell phone needs above your wedding. Our weddings are a big deal to us but everyone doesn't get that because it's not their event.

                Still, whether they admit it or not they are hurting your feelings. I hope you all can have a productive discussion about it and in the end I'm sure the wedding will be just fine :)

                #8 Thomasjsgirl

                Thomasjsgirl
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                  Posted 21 May 2010 - 09:28 AM

                  I agree with the ladies. Try not to freak out as you do have plenty of time yet (I know, I know - easier said than done!). If this had happened one month before the date, then for sure I would be having a meltdown too. But, at the end of the day, no matter who attends or not, the most important people will be there -- you and your FI.
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                  #9 bsf&jpg

                  bsf&jpg
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                    Posted 21 May 2010 - 02:15 PM

                    oh no, I am so very sorry this is stressing you out. I am in the same boat but with my sister. She doesnt have the money to finish paying her and her daughter (my niece) trips. They paid their flights but idk if they can pay their rooms.
                    and I still have 4 rooms that I have to fill and idk if we can get enough ppl to go!!!

                    #10 ~Nicole~

                    ~Nicole~
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                      Posted 25 May 2010 - 09:23 AM

                      I can totally relate to how you're feeling. My Mom decided to buy a house that needed a ton of renovations and put all of her money into that even though she had previously told me that she couldn't afford to come to my wedding lol. The one thing I learned throughout the whole wedding thing was that you can't control how people spend their money. I know that prob doesn't make you feel any better, but its true. All you can do is hope that you're high enough on their priority list that they'll make sacrifices to be able to come up with the money. And if they don't, hey, its their loss! I know it sounds harsh but its true.

                      Trust me, I drove myself nuts before my wedding about my guest list and all the people that didn't come. And now, I wish that I didn't waste a second on any of them! It all worked out and was even better than I expected! I know it will be the same for you! Good luck!
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