Registry Questions...Help Please!!!

shanng243 · May 10, 2010

Ok, So my finace and I are getting married in Cabo in August with just our immediate families. We are having an AHR with everyone (all friends, family, etc) in October. We recently moved across the country (Utah) 8 months ago from Michigan - and Michigan is where we're having our AHR. I chose not to have a bridal shower (too much hassle living across the country, this is also why we're having a small DW)...plus funds to fly home to MI are limited, especially seeing we are paying for our own wedding/reception.

SO....this leads me to a few questions/dilemmas.

Do we register?

If so, we don't want to haul home/have to ship home wedding gifts...it would end up costing a TON!

Would it be improper etiquette to register, seeing everyone isn't invited to the wedding?

If we don't register, will invitees be confused as to what to do about wedding gifts?

I'm going to be sending out the AHR invites soon.....so I am trying to decide what to do about the registry so I can include another enclosure if I do register!

AHHHHHH! this is so confusing. I really don't know what to do, because I don't want to look tacky or offend anyone. HELP !!!!!

Thanks for all and any input anyone can provide!!!

tracy0716 · May 10, 2010

There's no rule that you have to register and honestly you make a valid point about bringing the gifts cross country. That being said, I'm pretty sure people will still want to give you something so expect gifts anyways. My suggestion is to make a small registry of things you would like/need. Most stores offer shipping to your home and you can have your family spread the word that this is preferred, esp. if you're flying home. I really think your friends and family will understand this and will love to help fill your new home. If you're driving, make the registry full of small things you can pack in the car. Hope this helps! Good luck!

taylorwd · May 10, 2010

You should register because whether you want them to or not, and whether you think it's appropriate to get you a gift or not, people will buy you gifts. Better to get something you want/need than something random you have no space for or something that isn't your taste. Plus, you make it much easier on your friends and family since they're not having to take a stab in the dark about what you like.

I agree that if you tell a few key people that gifts should be sent to your home and not brought to the AHR, the word will get spread.

hoyt75 · May 10, 2010

You don't have to register if you don't want to, but you'll probably end up with a bunch of junk that you never wanted. If you register you lessen the chance of getting unwanted items. Agreed - most registries will offer free shipping, and having family and friends pass the word that if they choose to purchase items having them shipped would be much appreciated. Or, you can always say that their presence is gift enough, ask for cash, or do a donation registry instead.

shanng243 · May 11, 2010

Okay, so I've decided I'm going to register! Thanks!!!!

But this leads me to my next question... I've read a lot on here about registry etiquette and how to spread the word. I know a lot of people think it's tacky to include a card with the formal invite and that the way to go is either via website, word of mouth, same as shower invites, etc. HOWEVER...I'm not having a shower, and a lot of our guests are not frequent internet users so they probably wouldn't even look at the wedding website (seriously!)

That leaves me with either word of mouth or enclosing something with the formal invite. Or maybe another option I am not thinking of? This is so frustrating! LOL

Thanks for all the help!

Shannon

MDLady · May 11, 2010

The simple answer is of course doing a registry but requesting that gifts be shipped to your home rather than brought to the reception or even to your family home. I would definitely include that in the invite and would NOT consider that rude. Where you list the registry, just include something like "please ship your gifts to our home" and give the address. I don't think that's rude at all.

And if you don't register, people will just buy stuff for you that they *THINK* you want/need. I created a registry and even so, several people decide to gift me things I don't like and have no use for.

Macy's has a great registry and people can go to their local Macy's and buy stuff there without going online and just have Macy's ship it to your address. It makes things much easier IMO.