Originally Posted by michelle2011
Thanks girls i always feel better knowing i can come on here and have a moan and nobody will judge me.. She was very hurtful. But the thing is i deep down think it was always there. She always annoyed me and i bit my tounge alot over the yrs. Just kept quiet but i am sick of watching her manipulate FI. He can't see it he has rose tinted glasses on where mummy is concerned and refuses to see what she is really like. I opened my mouth when she caused a row over our wedding decisions (she wants her daughter to be bridesmaid and i dont).. When i told her me and FI sat and jointly decided on who was gonna take what roll in the wedding and she's now causing a row she came round told me she didn't appreciate being TOLD that. She said it wasn't the first time i'd caused problems in the family (me and FI have no idea what she meant by that and i always keep my distance cos she does my head in) she also said the wedding day was as much about her as it was me....? WTF.... she said "you may be marrying my son but i'll always be his mum and always have my say"... i tried to keep my calm but told her what was what and walked her to the door... it wasn't just what she was saying it was the look in her eye and her body language. Anyway it wont go away now and i do hold a grudge. Since then she has done nothing to make it up. She is now acting as if nothing happened and i am the one with the issue! Now my mums upset with her it just seems to be getting worse. One of my BM's said yesterday the best thing is to ignore her and let it get to her to the point that she does something infront of FI and he can see for himself what she's really like.... It's so sad it's happened now when we are getting married. But i dont want anything to do with her. At the moment i cant think of anything else. She's obviously not bothered and nor am i. I feel sorry for FI but there is nothing i can do. I can not be around that woman. She doesnt care about upsetting me or her son. She thinks she has a right to say and do as she pleases and she is NEVER in the wrong.. my mum has said after the wedding she will have nothing more to do with her.
Thanks for listening girls x
Oh Michelle, your MIL sounds just as bad as mine. Me and my MIL and BIL had an argument over 2 years ago trying to arrange FI's 30th birthday. I had started to arrange a 'surprise' family dinner at a nice local restaurant which is his favourite, but MIL and BIL wanted to go to a big plush restautant in Chelsea, that is just not my FI, i knew he wouldn't like it, so I told them so, but they turned it all on me and said after everything he does for me the least I can do is spend a bit of money taking him out to a nice restaurant. WTF!!!
They then took everything out of my hands and wanted to arrange the dinner on his actual birthday which was a Wednesday and at 8pm in Chelsea which is a good 1hour drive away from our house. I said that they were being unreasonable because FI has to get up for work the next day at 5am and on top of that my daughter (who was 12 at the time) has school. They said can't i get a babysitter and I said 'no' FI would want her to be there she is after all his step daughter and he wouldn't want to celebrate at a 'family dinner' without her. Well that was it she went mad and proceeded to shout down the telephone at me that my daughter is nothing to do with her son, she is just that, my daughter and until the day we get married she will never be classed as his step daughter and she is not prepared to mess up her sons birthday just because his girlfriend (of 6 years may i just add) can't sort herself out and find a babysitter for her child. In hindsight I should have gone absolutely crazy, but I told her that I will be ending the phone call and i put the phone down.
BIL was on her side and within 1/2 hour he was at my house to shout and argue with me some more, again I stayed quiet heard what he had to say and then asked him to leave. He then called FI up and told him about the 'surprise' dinner and how i had ruined it all. By the time FI called me I had broken down in tears. It was a horrible time for us because I felt like he wasn't sticking up for me but he felt like he was stuck between his mum/brother and me. He did tell them that they are never to talk to me like that again but I will never forgive them especially his mum for what she said about my daughter.
I speak to BIL now only because FI and him are quite close so I have no choice but it took me well over a year to say hello to him but i'm making an effort for FI. Thankfully MIL lives in St Lucia so I don't see her, this year May was the first time I had seen her since the argument and needless to say there was atmosphere. FI took me,my daughter, and MIL out to dinner but the conversation was quite strained. We mentioned about getting married in Mexico and her response was 'Don't you want me to come to your wedding then?' to which I asked what does she mean and she said 'well it's so far, why not come to St Lucia' I didn't bother to answer. She also kept making comments about when will we have children because she has always wanted a daughter so would love a granddaugter, which was really getting me annoyed because my daughter was sitting oppostie her.
MIL and my mum have never met in the 8 years we've been together, MIL is very stuck up and thinks because she owns her own house and business she is better than everybody else, my mum is from a working class background. They are due to meet when MIL is over next in September and i'm not looking forward to it at all, i just hope for MIL sake that she doesn't make my mum feel uncomfortable, otherwise there will definitley be fireworks between me and her.
I always knew that she didn't like me but FI kept telling me it's in my head, but i knew by the looks and certain comments...I honestly don't know what it is that i done but I think it is because I have a child and her and BIL think that i have tied FI down...who knows though, it used to really upset me but now I just don't care...i'm not marrying her i'm marrying my Wayne and that's all that matters at the end of the day.
Not sure how it is going to work in Mexico really....maybe she'll decide she won't come!!!
Wow i've written an essay for you all...but like Michelle said it's nice to get it off your chest and know that the ladies on here don't judge you.
Thanks for listening xx