My take on this is that your guests are paying a lot of money to attend your wedding, so they should be able to choose. That's not to say that I'm not a little annoyed when some of my guests start talking about staying other places, but I told them that they could do whatever they wanted. I didn't want people to feel like they had to stay at our resort or not come at all. I just tried to tell my guests that it will be fun to be at our resort because everyone else will be there and also let them know about the daily pass fee. So far nobody has booked at a different place. But if they do, I'm just going to let it go because honestly? I'm going to have my hands full enough with all the folks that will be at our resort the whole time.
As for the perks, I definitely wouldn't mention any of that to your guests. You don't want them to feel like they are being used so that you can meet a quota and get a free stay or whatever other perks there are. Remember that they are putting out significant money to attend your wedding.
And Princess J with the BM trying to convince the other BMs and guests to stay at a different place? That's just rude!! She can do whatever she wants, but she should NOT be going behind your back trying to convince everyone to stay at a different place or going around talking about how much cheaper different options are. No.