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Is it ok NOT to do invitations?

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#1 AngelaVaradero

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    Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:45 PM

    I've been having a really hard time deciding between invitations/no invitations and getting mixed responses from destination brides, friends and family.

    Our wedding isn't for another year (April 25, 2011 - Iberostar Varadero!), and we are essentially opening up the wedding to all friends and family who want to come and everyone is welcome.

    A few weeks ago we provided everyone with Save the Dates so they have a full year to save and have all the information they need, and on the STD was our website with information being updated regularly.

    So the dilemma is that my family is ridiculously HUGE and his is big too. And we know that the large majority will definitely not be able to attend which we are ok with. We are also undecided what we will do for the party at home following the wedding and we are steering away from a traditional reception and more towards a casual, fun outdoor party.

    So my question is, is it ok if we skip the invitations given that we provided everyone with a save the date and asked that they let us know if they are planning on attending or not, and communicated group rates to everyone invited via phone or email? And instead we will provide guests with a formal guest package, and sort of 'confirmation invitation' once they confirm they are coming. I've been told the negative side of sending an invitation is that people feel more obligated to attend or guilty for not making the trip, or they get irritated/insulted when they receive one but have already clearly identified that they are not coming.


    #2 mnh1983

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      Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:51 PM

      I see both sides of the argument, but I would vote for sending invites. Even though you sent everyone a STD, people expect invitations, and I would hate for some family member to think you didn't want him/her at the wedding because they didn't get an invitation. I've never come across anyone who was offended by receiving an invitation. Sending an invitation will also encourage those who want to come to go ahead and book their rooms.

      #3 Tam

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        Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:53 PM

        We did the same thing... unintentionally, but only sent out STDs and ended up booking really quickly because we got a great sale. Not sure if anyone cared, we didn't hear any flack, and honestly I don't care. We didn't see the point either to send out invites to everyone when we knew the majority wouldn't be coming. We will be sending out invites for our AHR, which I still haven't picked a date for.
        I think part of why most of us have destination weddings is to save money. Also, I would not be offended if I was one of your potential guests and didn't get an official invitation.. I personally think the STDs are enough, but I guess it depends how formal you guys want it to be... HTH!

        #4 tracy0716

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          Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:56 PM

          I totally understand your point about not sending the invites. I think it could work if you tell people there will not be a formal invitation. You can definitely utilize a wedding website for people to rsvp. I found many of our friends and family were waiting for their formal invitation before booking even though we sent out our STDs almost 9 months before the wedding date! Are you going to be okay with not having an invitation to save and remember years from now? Good thing is you have time to contemplate this further. There's always going to be pros and cons...you gotta do what works for you guys. Good luck!!

          #5 mlabbe

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            Posted 26 April 2010 - 11:00 PM

            We did a formal STD but did an electronic invite on pingg.com (free or $5 for a no ad version). I really liked how easy it was and it lets you track everyone right on the site, so it's all in one place. You can use your own custom image for free as well. It's a good alternative!

            #6 Ayita

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              Posted 26 April 2010 - 11:40 PM

              You can also think about using evite. That way you can send invites AND you get the RSVPs all in one... and then you can send guests packages to whomever is coming !

              #7 Mrs Price 2010

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                Posted 27 April 2010 - 04:44 AM

                We sent out an informal newsletter - which contained all the details of the trip and how to book and acted like our invites - we did them ourselves and they looked pretty good and cost next to nothing!
                It worked for us and everyone liked them!

                #8 *Linds*

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                  Posted 27 April 2010 - 05:48 AM

                  I can understand both sides of the arguement as well. My thought is that it is your wedding and you should do exactly what YOU want to do. The thing about a destination wedding, is there really are no hard and fast rules like in a traditional wedding.

                  I don't think there is anything wrong with an evite or an informal newsletter. I would probably opt for the evite personally. It sounds pretty easy to track and since we live in the age of computers I think this method is becoming more and more acceptable....
                  Loving married life! <3

                  #9 josietoms

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                    Posted 27 April 2010 - 07:43 AM

                    I didnt send invitations - i did the STD cards and knew we would have a small response as we are travelling from London. I did set up a website with details of where we are going as well so everyone could have a look incase they changed their mind.
                    We are having a large AHR so i will do formal invitations for this nearer the time and some invitations for those who have actually confirmed they are coming.
                    Josie x

                    #10 ACDCDCAC

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                    Posted 27 April 2010 - 07:55 AM

                    thats the beauty of a DW, you can do whatever the heck YOU want :) dont worry about what is "right" or who will "care". what it comes down to is if you and FI are happy with your decisions.

                    the one big thing i learned from having a DW is that there are always ways to satisfy everyone, without comprimising your ideas and what you want. if you guys dont want to do formal invites, you could do casual newsletter invites stating that there will be no formal invite, and one or 2 more updates sent thruout the year as you get more pertinent info to give out.

                    really you could do the mass "inviting" however you want, but you can also do something like buy a box of 20 inexpensive invites from Michaels or wherever, and send those off to the most important people in the group, like grandmas and parents or other people who would be more likely to "have an issue" with the non-traditional route. that way you are still saving $ but make everyone happy too...

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