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Etiquette advice needed :-)

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#11 nicoleswrld

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    Posted 27 April 2010 - 06:20 PM

    Thank you ladies for all the advice....I am still undecided as of right now. I think I might go over this thread with FI and see what he ultimately thinks.



    #12 skadow

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      Posted 27 April 2010 - 07:12 PM

      Way before the invite. I would have been pissed about the wedding date. Why would they think it was a good idea to have it so close to another wedding? As a bride I would never book mine close to a cousins. That alone would have serously irrated me.

      #13 lalanyc

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      • 363 posts

        Posted 27 April 2010 - 07:25 PM

        Agreed w/ the others. Trashy vs. trashy = no win. Classy will always trump trashy!

        I too would have been pretty P.O'd if the date were so close to mine but what can you do now, other than to have an KICK ASS wedding that puts theirs to shame?!!! hehe :)

        #14 *Meagan*

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        • 5,521 posts

          Posted 27 April 2010 - 09:34 PM

          I think wedding etiquette has changed quite a bit especially since DWs are on the rise.. We sent invites to everyone even knowing they wouldn't be able to come, because it was the right thing to do and we def. did not receive gifts from all those people and we also did not expect them. I personally would send them a nice wedding card. And call that the end of it. Good luck!

          #15 swankster77

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          • 233 posts

            Posted 28 April 2010 - 10:38 PM

            Facebook invite? Not a real invite if you ask me... I'm in agreement - NO GIFT!

            #16 jodieP

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            • 278 posts

              Posted 06 May 2010 - 07:37 AM

              Yup I agree, FB message just isn't appropriate!

              And I say take the higher ground too and get the a small gift if you feel it's the right thing to do!

              Best of luck whatever you decide, and I guess you will see soon enough if they get you a gift!


              24 Booked plus bride & groom

              #17 courtney_b00

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              • 417 posts

                Posted 06 May 2010 - 07:54 AM

                Wow the cousin apparently doesn't know what the word "etiquette" is. That's ridiciulous. I wouldn't send them a gift at all. If I sent anything, it would be a letter saying that they should have sent you an invite!

                #18 punkie569

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                • 255 posts

                  Posted 06 May 2010 - 06:17 PM

                  What would it really have cost them to send you an invite anyway? Beyond rude if you ask me. Personally I don't think you should have to send a gift if you aren't attending the wedding no matter what the situation. A card is more than sufficient in that case. I wouldn't expect a gift from someone that didn't attend my wedding but that's just me.

                  Or like another poster said you could wait and see if they sent you a gift for your own wedding. If not then you don't have to feel bad. If they did then send them a little something. Maybe you'll have a duplicate gift you can re-gift them! LOL (obviously kidding but if you did just make sure it isn't what they sent you)
                  Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in love

                  #19 hat0112

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,219 posts

                    Posted 07 May 2010 - 02:44 PM

                    It drives me nuts how rude people can be. I say no invite no gift. We sent invites to everyone and we know we won’t get gifts from the people who aren’t attending. And besides, you already got them a gift for the shower.
                    Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

                    I love being a Mrs.!

                    #20 MDLady

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                    • 433 posts

                      Posted 07 May 2010 - 03:24 PM

                      That would drive me crazy. I'm not all about etiquette but just being nice to people. It doesn't cost a thing to be nice (ok, the invite would have cost her an extra $1.00 or smth). Come on now. A Facebook invite is ridiculous. I get asked about the wedding on Facebook but that's from people just chatting. Not formally inviting. Unbelievable. But agreed with the other ladies, don't stoop to her level and yes, wedding shower gift = wedding gift. Definitely. I would send a card expressing regret over not being able to attend.

                      We have people who never sent back an RSVP or even responded in any way (not even on FB) regarding the invitation. How rude is that?!?!?!?!?! Oh and there are others whose weddings we attended in the last couple of years (we had to travel for both) and got them all nice gifts. We not only didn't get the RSVPs back, but let alone gifts or even a congratulations. I don't understand how people do this stuff and are ok with themselves.

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