Potential to turn out bad! Need advice
Posted 19 April 2010 - 05:42 PM
Posted 19 April 2010 - 05:52 PM
I wouldn't feel bad at all!! Your future SIL might appreciate not having to buy a special dress for her daughter. Hopefully your FIL's understand and can buffer this situation for you. Good luck!!
Posted 19 April 2010 - 05:59 PM
I think that you are being a little selfish. And while I understand that this is your wedding, and you may have the right to. You are also excluding your soon to be family. If I was your FSIL and you told me not to bring my kid, I would tell you to count me out of your whole wedding. Before the wedding starts I would simply ask whomever is in charge of the kid, that if she starts to scream or cry ask him to walk away until she is done.
Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:03 PM
Oh P.S. I am aware that my dress will get ruined but since I do want to re-sell it I don't want it stained irrepariably by any coloring from the flower petals. Also I wasn't asking for them not to bring the baby to the wedding just not to the ceremony.
Either way thanks for sharing your opinion.
Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:12 PM
Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:20 PM
Posted 19 April 2010 - 07:49 PM
Posted 19 April 2010 - 08:39 PM
I would look at at giving her a fun gift of sand toys or something as well...
I have to say though, with a beach wedding, there seems to be a lot less crying kids than at church weddings...the kids go off to the side and play in the sand and have fun (also the ceremony is usually a lot shorter so that's fine too). I have also seen some kids calmly go up and stand next to mom during the ceremony or be held...while that may sound disruptive, in all honesty, everyone is so focused on the B&G usually only the photographer notices! With a relaxed atmosphere that is a beach wedding as well, kids pick up on that and are more relaxed as well.
Don't get too worked up over it. My sister did the opposite with me when my oldest was 3; she was the only child at the DW and sis wanted her at every event (which were all scheduled past her bedtime) and expected her to walk down the aisle...by the end of the weekend my little one was in bits and so was I. I would have loved to have been excused from those duties and she would have loved to been able to play! (she just sat on the steps at the wedding and almost fell asleep...) You're doing the right thing for you and for your niece. Don't "ban" her from the ceremony, plan for her to have things to do that will keep all of you happy!
And don't feel bad about the not having the flower girl...you can honestly say most etiquette books (I think Martha Stewart just had a thing about flower girls ages) recommend 4 and older. Under that age it is just not a good idea for the kids or the parents or the bride. As a mom, I whole heartedly agree!
It's going to be a fabulous day!!!
Posted 19 April 2010 - 10:16 PM
I understand that some people would say that if they were invited and asked to not bring their children, they wouldn't come; that's perfectly ok if you ask me, b/c at some point, when it was their wedding day, they did things the way they wanted...it's funny how people forget this when they have children.
Posted 19 April 2010 - 10:34 PM
Thanks ladies for the positive suggestions/ideas/feedback!!!
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