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nmurch

Another "dad" question.

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My dad is coming, but he is not walking me down the isle and we are not having a first dance. I was honest with him and told him how I felt - he can't really get that upset that things turn out this way after making the decisions that he's made. Ok, he might get his feelings hurt but he'll come to realize he can't expect to be distant and not have it bit him in the you know what!

 

Good luck!

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Fellow Edmontonian here! I too am not close with my dad. He assumed he was giving me away as well. I explained to him that I am a grown woman and I don't need to be "given" to anyone. However, in order to make it a nice day for him since my mom is no longer with us, I decided to ask him to simply walk WITH me. I sent him a nice card I found online that said that I'd like to walk with him... nothing more. It made him happy and I figured.. frankly, what harm was it REALLY doing me giving him that small part of my past. I am honouring him as a person who gave me life... whether he'd been in my life or not. There's not always that opportunity to mend fences... if this is it for us, then it was worth it for a few minutes of discomfort for me.

 

To each his own but I wish you luck with however you choose to handle it.

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Just be honest and explain that you have already asked your mom to walk you down the aisle.

 

As far as the dance goes, maybe see how you're feeling about it that day. You can always let your band/dj/ipod controller ahead of time that you aren't sure but to have a song "just in case." If you are feeling it, have someone alert them to play a song for you. If not, just skip it.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mnh1983 View Post
Just be honest and explain that you have already asked your mom to walk you down the aisle.

As far as the dance goes, maybe see how you're feeling about it that day. You can always let your band/dj/ipod controller ahead of time that you aren't sure but to have a song "just in case." If you are feeling it, have someone alert them to play a song for you. If not, just skip it.
this is a great idea maybe i'll just play by ear and see how i feel the day of the wedding!

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There is some great advice here on this post. I agree it's important to be honest with your dad (or as my neice calls her dad -Father-man because he wasn't around either) and let him know that you're going going with a lot of the traditional parts of the wedding. Your mom gets the honor of walking down the aisle but can your dad do a reading? or have another part in the ceremony? Having him involved might ease any hurt feelings he may have.

I also agree with MNH about the father/daughter dance. See how you feel when you get there. From the tone in your post, you don't sound all that comfortable with this virtual stranger. Dancing allows him to get into your personal space and you might not be feelin' it at the time. Nothing says you HAVE to do a father/daughter dance. This day is about you feeling great, not guilty or having to set your feeling aside to make sure your dad feels great.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nmurch View Post
we are casual like... talk once every 2 months or so... my baba died about 2 weeks ago so he came here for the funeral ( it's his mom ) anyways so now he things he's all close with me and what not.. and it doesnt change anything... i feel weird around him
I think you said it all....
if you feel weird around him, do you really want to "honor" him with a dance, much less have him walk you down the aisle?

Tell him your mom will be walking you down the aisle as she has walked you through life.

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