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Diva

3 BMs and NO groomsmen, what to do??

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I agree with the ladies!! I had pretty set idea's till i realized we were busting the rules with a DW anyways!! I had to chillax and accept no matter what it is our DW and it will be spectacular!! Enjoy and do what u want to do!! what feels right!!

 

jodie.xx

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Hi Diva. I felt like we might have your same problem so, from the beginning, we decided on having one attendant each. I'm glad we did because I would have five bridesmaids to his two groomsmen and my ladies are very sensitive to ratio issues. All of our other would-be-USA-wedding-attendants are now honorary (non-standing) attendants.

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I'm glad I found this thread. I have 3 sisters, and he has one brother, one sister. He is very opposed to the idea of having his sister be a "groomsman", but I don't want to be forced into choosing one of my sisters over the others to match his one brother. Our wedding is family only, so I'm stuck as to how to balance it out. I want to be able to ask all three sisters to be my bridesmaids, but I don't want his sister to feel left out if he refuses to include her, and I can't very well have 4 attendants to his 1. I think I'll have to work to convince him that a female groomsman is okay...

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I am relieved to see that I am not the only one with this problem. I have at least 3-4 very close friends and a 19yr old dtr.My FI on the other hand, only has our 20 and 9 yr old son as grooms men and possibly one of his brothers I am torn between just having our children in our wedding or adding my very dear friends, but there would be 4-5 bm to his 2-3 grooms men. I need some advice.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by teslalove View Post
I'm glad I found this thread. I have 3 sisters, and he has one brother, one sister. He is very opposed to the idea of having his sister be a "groomsman", but I don't want to be forced into choosing one of my sisters over the others to match his one brother. Our wedding is family only, so I'm stuck as to how to balance it out. I want to be able to ask all three sisters to be my bridesmaids, but I don't want his sister to feel left out if he refuses to include her, and I can't very well have 4 attendants to his 1. I think I'll have to work to convince him that a female groomsman is okay...
Quote:
Originally Posted by msredd3129 View Post
I am relieved to see that I am not the only one with this problem. I have at least 3-4 very close friends and a 19yr old dtr.My FI on the other hand, only has our 20 and 9 yr old son as grooms men and possibly one of his brothers I am torn between just having our children in our wedding or adding my very dear friends, but there would be 4-5 bm to his 2-3 grooms men. I need some advice.
Have either of you thought of having your kids/siblings/friends walk down normally(and dressed similar) as if they were attendants and then have them seated in a place of honor at the front? If you want parents at the very front you can have them next to them in the front row on both sides or in the row just behind, the point being that they ARE attendants and have a distinction as such but then you don't have to worry about how it looks having uneven numbers of people standing beside you and your groom. I think the look of just the couple and the officiant at the alter is really romantic anyway.

We had an uneven ratio, 4 BMs to 5 GM and it looked fine. Granted it's only one off but we just did some creative processional/recessional work and it turned out being different and really touching for the guests(best man stood with officiant, DH escorted his Gram with whom he is very close to her seat). It was a little difficult to figure out the logistics but in the end it's up to you, these are the people that mean the most to you, you shouldn't feel like you have to add random people just to make things even. Plus a lot of guys are really touchy about being told who they should have as GM.

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I am in the same boat ladies.. I have tons of my girlfriends coming to the wedding but have yet to ask many of them as my FI doesnt have anyone booked yet. If we end up only have a MOH and best man, they my girls that I Would have had stand for me will get other special tasks like reading at the ceremony etc. You can always have more on one side then the other and just have the walk in alone with the best man at the front already and when they walk out just put two on the arm of one, or whatever. It is a destination wedding remember and they are usually less tradional, and well its your wedding so whatever you want have... so what with traditions! thats just how I feel. best of luck ladies

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I have 3 ladies and FI has only 2 guys. His GM is just going to have to walk down the isle with 2 ladies love.gif .

 

 

Either way, that really sucks that he has no one. But I guess you guys can just be surrounded by your BM's in the pictures, right? I mean, no one said that they always have to be standing on just your side?

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We have a bit of a different situation. My FI and I each have 5 attendants (excessive, in my opinion, but we can't narrow it down). BUT my FI has two women on his side and 3 men. Rather unusual! We're going to have the groomspeople stand up at the front and my BMs will walk down by themselves.

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Originally Posted by Mellyrox View Post
We have a bit of a different situation. My FI and I each have 5 attendants (excessive, in my opinion, but we can't narrow it down). BUT my FI has two women on his side and 3 men. Rather unusual! We're going to have the groomspeople stand up at the front and my BMs will walk down by themselves.
A good friend of the family had a man as her MOH. He wore a kilt. It was pretty adorable actually :)

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I am sort of the opposite. I have 3 BM's and my FI has 5 groomsmen. At the end of the day, I didn't want to ask people just for the sake of asking. I want the people who are standing for us to have meaning. Our plan is for the groomsmen to be up front, and then just have the bridesmaids walk down the aisle. As for the exit...who cares it's a beach, casual,...and You just got married! No one will remember who walked who down the aisle. Relax and go with the flow. There are no rules, make your own! It's your day enjoy it.

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