Guests saying that resort is too expensive...i'm so frustraded
Posted 13 April 2010 - 02:52 PM
All of the girls are right, we all go through this or something similar to it.
When you decide to have a Destination Wedding you really have to be prepared to have alot of people complain and you have to be prepared for possibly a small number of people who attend. If you don't want that and if it's really important for you to have certain people there, or even a larger # of people there, then maybe you should re-think your options.
I know for DH & I when we first decided to do a DW, we contacted our immediate Family who we knew that we def wanted there & wouldn't get married without and we asked them if this is something that they would be able to do. All of them said yes and in the end all of them (except my brother & his family) were able to come and also a few friends came as well. We had a small group, 23 people including us, but it was Funn and worth it. If I had to do it all over again, the only thing I would do differently was decide on having a DW sooner so more people would have the year and a half to save instead of just a couple of months.
I see that your getting married in May of 2011. I think that is enough time for the people who really matter in your life to save & come to your wedding.
I don't know just how expensive Zoetry is (I have never heard of it) but I am sure it is Do-able with over a years notice for most people.
In the end, please don't make your decision based on everyone else's opinion's. Make your decision based on what you and your FI want most.
Either a DW no matter who can make it, or if you would rather have everyone be able to be there, at a different location.
I wish you lots of luck!
Posted 13 April 2010 - 04:55 PM
Following announcing our plans to get married- family members told ( yep told not asked or requested) me that it needed to be in school holidays- I fekt so bad that I had not even considered the school holidays in my original planning. which bumped up the price of the wedding/ holiday. So I did my research and we set a date for August 2010- then the same person told me that she would not be able to attend as to bring her family to the resort would cost too much- in other words she could not have attended the wedding irrespective of the school holidays.
Do what makes you happy.
Posted 13 April 2010 - 05:16 PM
i would stick with your resort but do know that Zoetry is more expensive than most resorts in the RM...it is over $500 a night for double occupancy (and that doesn't include kids...the kids rate is about $100 per night) when most people planning DW's in RM try to stick to around $200-350 per night double occupancy just to make it easier financially so more people can attend.
When i first was looking at locations we looked at a resort that was $600 a night but knew only about 1/3 of our guests would feel comfortable paying that so we chose another resort that was $290 per night.
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Posted 13 April 2010 - 05:30 PM
when they would "kindly" remind us of the price we would "kindly" tell them that by no means were we "expecting" them to come.
we planned for 35 guests, at one point we thought there would only be 15 (which again we were totally ok with) well we ended up with 36!
bottom line it is your guys day....you should do it how you want and feel most comfortable with!
Posted 13 April 2010 - 05:38 PM
I too considered eloping and honeymooning in Europe for a month instead but what is important to me is the group aspect and I picked a resort that I liked that was in the price range for most people to come. So there was a bit of sacrifice on our part. I say you need to decide what you want, if you want to get married at Zoetry despite who shows, stay there, if you would like certain people to attend look into another resort, if you don't care really and just want to have an amazing honeymoon, do that!
Just sit down and discuss this with FI calm and well fed so you can make the best decision possible.
Posted 13 April 2010 - 06:34 PM
I am now 7 month away from my wedding and boy was I shocked to find out from my wedding planner and the TA that over 30 people have booked already. Your wedding is in 2011 and though people may not think they can afford it right now its the initial response that most people give. We have friends who actually admitted they didn't think they would be able to but some are using tax returns to take a vacation, some are saving and others said "hey we would have been taking a vacation anyway, why not let it be your wedding weekend". Alot can change in a year. Take heart and know that many of us have gone through similar situations but in the end it is your wedding day and you need to be happy. Choose a place that you and FI can agree is that one magical, memorable place you want to get married at, no matter who is in attendance. My MOH and BOH are still both not attending but I realize that its ok and as much as I want them to and have offered to pay for their tickets which they didn't accept, sometimes some people just won't be able to make it.
Cheer up and I hope after taking a break and re-evaluating some you can get back to enjoying planning your special day!
Posted 14 April 2010 - 09:58 PM
Thank you so much for the kind words and the great advice. FI and I did talk to today, and of course, he said that ultimately it's my decision.
After my original post I got more emails from 2 bridesmaids....and it actually really upset me...not because they were telling me they couldn't afford to go (which I totally understand due to the fact it's a DW) but just how they handled. They literally were telling me (via email) how I should change all my plans and look for something cheaper, and one of them told me that she remembered from her wedding that your wedding day is actually not about you but about your guests....seriously?
But anyways, I understand that Zoetry is very expensive ($280 per night, per person), but it's beautiful, small, has only 90 rooms, only does one wedding per weekend, picks up every guest at airport...those are some of the things that made me fall in love with the resort. But for me, the biggest reason why I love this place so much is the service I'm getting from their wedding coordinator - Susanne - she is amazing, and I trust her. As you know, we can't go down there and see the locations, taste the food and all, so I need to have someone I can trust. The other resorts I contacted in the past took like almost 4 weeks to reply to me....and Susanne, I speak with her on the phone all the time and she emails me always answering to all my questions and concerns...
Anyways...here is what we decided. I did contacted Dreams Riviera Cancun but they don't have my date available - unless I change it to June 11... and I do like this resort because it's new! So, I did contact Dreams Tulum and they have my date available as well as being like $180 per person per night. And with Zoetry, I found out their outside guest policy - if guests want to spend the day with us its $99 per person. For the wedding reception it will be $20 additional for food, and for the bar: $50 for 1st hour and $30 for each additional hour...that's the killer....so, she said I can have outside guests pay as they go for the drinks..which we are fine with it.
So, I will do my homework and compare both resorts and see what I decide...
Thanks again, you are the best!
Posted 15 April 2010 - 09:42 AM
In the end, I truly believe (from my own experiences) that people who want to come will come no matter the expense (even if they stay at a diff. resort). What you will discover later on in your planning, that your wedding is just not a big deal to most people. They will say it is, and pretend etc... but really, truly, it's not going to be their priority albeit financially or sacrificing vacation days. I am not trying to be harsh or insensitive, I am just telling you what I realized throughout and after the process. The sooner your realize this, the sooner you will be able to be at peace with your decision. I personally chose a cheaper resort so the max. amount of people would come, but in retrospect, those that did come, would have come no matter where I ended up having it (minus a few friends I would NOT have missed! lol).
Good luck in your planning.
Posted 16 April 2010 - 12:21 PM
Posted 16 April 2010 - 08:29 PM
1 - Dreams Riviera Cancun only has June 11 available (my 2nd option date)
2 - Dreams Tulum - has my date
3 - Dreams Puerto Aventura - I haven't heard back from them yet
I feel a little better but a little upset!