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Invitation Etiquette...please help?

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20 replies to this topic

#1 JanineA

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    Posted 06 April 2010 - 11:42 AM

    My wedding is not until November but I have had a few people (one bridesmaid and my MOH) already let me know that they will not be able to attend...though I am bummed out I kind of expected both. My question is this, if someone has let me know way in advance they will not be attending do I still have to send them an invitation? They were sent save-the-dates which is when they responded saying they wouldn't be attending. Do I send the invitations out of courtesy?

    #2 MDLady

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    • 433 posts

      Posted 06 April 2010 - 12:55 PM

      I don't know what the right answer it "etiquette"-wise but I did that for my wedding. I, too, sent out Save the Dates and knew that some people wouldn't come but I sent the invitation anyway, just to let them know that I thought about them and for them to have the invitation as a souvenir. My Mom, however, insisted that it was rude to invite people knowing that they can't come, but I think it's worse to NOT invite them.

      The cost for additional invitations are so minimal that I just don't see why not send the invitations to everyone that you want at your wedding.

      #3 YIweddings

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      • 173 posts

        Posted 06 April 2010 - 01:16 PM

        Send them an invite. I have several people I know can't come even before I sent out the save the dates but I want them to be a part of the moment. These people are important enough to be your MOH and BM so include them.
        Soon to be Mrs. Kramer

        #4 Melidell

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          Posted 06 April 2010 - 01:57 PM

          I believe ettiquette-wise the rule is that everyone who recieved a save the date gets an invite as well. Who knows, things may change for them between now and then. Also, even though they won't be able to make it it's still nice to be invited.
          Loving married life!

          #5 JanineA

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            Posted 06 April 2010 - 02:09 PM

            Thanks ladies! I wasn't sure what to do. My MOH can't come because of money issues and my bridesmaid because she is pregnant but I wasn't sure if sending an invite after they both told me they couldn't make it was rude. MDLady I kind of get where your mom was coming from. I didn't want to seem like I was rubbing it in their faces or something. I will send it out since you ladies are right I do want them to feel like they are still part of the moment. Thanks again!

            #6 josietoms

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              Posted 06 April 2010 - 02:56 PM

              Agreed - if they get a STD card they should get an invitation. Even if you know in your heart who wont be attending :-)
              Josie x

              #7 Angel-in-Law

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              • 250 posts

                Posted 07 April 2010 - 12:17 AM

                I would say send the invite! As previous posters said, people's situations change.

                #8 Christy335

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                  Posted 07 April 2010 - 12:47 AM

                  My mom is a total "Miss Manners" and she's always telling me the "right thing" to do. She says that ettiquette dictates that you still send the invitation because it lets them know that they are important to you.

                  #9 mlabbe

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                    Posted 07 April 2010 - 01:09 AM

                    I also say to send the invite. Like it was said before, things could change. And you can always let them know why you sent them, so they don't feel pressured!

                    #10 midnight24

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                      Posted 07 April 2010 - 04:58 AM

                      so i'm curious...if your MOH & BM can't come...why are they still in your wedding party? are you having an AHR?

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