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what to do??


saraece
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Alright I know I am not the first BTB with this problem, my MIL is, for lack of a better word a hick, she does not travel much and lives in the bush. We thought she we would be able to convince her to come to Mexico with us for the wedding. Unfortunately a few Canadians were killed there recently and they keep running the story so she thinks many of them have been killed. So she is afraid to come. Any other down south location would be the same to her. I know we should "do what matters to us" we "can't please everyone!" but lets be realistic for a minute. We love the idea of getting married on a beach with no fuss, just showing up, get married and keep on partying with our friends and family for the week. But I his mother has to be there...I mean its his mother. She is a wonderful but a 65 year old who never has travelled. What to dohuh.gif

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OMG sometimes when it rains it pours! I am not really all that sure what to tell you. I guess I would point out to her that since it is making the news it must be a very rare event. They wouldn't continue to talk about it if it happen everyday. I would reassure her that she will be staying in a nice area with great security and so on. Hope this helps.

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can you show her pictures of the resort, and have her talk to other people that have been there? talk to a travel agent maybe - an unbiased 3rd party? paul's dad was like this a little bit - he has really only been to Ireland and the US. he thought Mexico was dirty and dangerous. well, i'd say out of everyone - HE had the best time! in every picture i see he's laughing, running around, he had a blast! hmmm - want his phone #? lol will simple begging and pleading work? you know once she gets there, she'll love it!

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Do what matters to you, you can't please everyone. Sorry, I had to...hehehe

 

Seriously, if she won't go and you won't go if she won't go, then what are you supposed to do, ask her where she will go? I understand the fear of someone who doesn't travel and then hears these horrific stories, but as much as "It's his mother", he's her son. Maybe she'll realize that and step out of the comfort zone. Would you two be happy with giving up the beach wedding you would love to have?

 

I hope I don't sound overly harsh but I wouldn't cave on this one or you may be setting yourself up for a marriage of catering to mom. Some people elope, at least you're giving her the opportunity to go. Just a thought.

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I had problems similar to this as well. Neither my mom or his parents wanted to travel to Jamaica. My family had safety concerns - lots of news of robberies/etc in Jamaica against American citizent. One of my uncle's even mailed me an article he clipped out of the Wall Street Journal detailing one of the attacks. BUT, we called/visited with everyone who had concerns and assured them that we were staying at a very safe resort. I talked with my family; he talked with his. We told them all that this is what WE want for our wedding, we are paying for it ourselves - so this is what we are doing. And we want them to be there with us.

 

Well, they have all booked their travel now! rolleyes.gif Once they understood it became a whole lot easier! Then again, since we are paying they really don't have much of a say in the whole thing anyway!!! haha!

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Like yours, my FI's mom is definitely not very excited about our wedding either. In fact, no one in his family is. They still haven't booked their travel. I feel bad b/c I keep nagging him about it, but then I have to think that maybe he's embarrassed b/c all of my family has booked and are psyched to go and his isn't. He said he would still get married whether or not they come, but I know it would upset him. I can't imagine my mom not coming to my weekend NO MATTER WHAT. I just want to shake his mom and be like "It's your son getting married. Why is there any hesitationhuh.gif" I guess my point is that no matter who comes and who doesn't, it's still your wedding and you have to do what makes you happy. I think even if we got married at home, his family would still have some sort of issue with something! (Sorry, I just realized this is a long vent, I should have started my own thread!)

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Thanks for all the support and words of advice. We aren't tying the knot until Jan 2009 so I have lots of time to problem solve and do some pleading and begging. On a funier not she did suggest we should get married at Graceland in the Nashville (I did say she was a hick).

 

****please note I in no way asume everyone who lives in or wants to travel to Graceland is a hick. lol

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizz10179 View Post
Like yours, my FI's mom is definitely not very excited about our wedding either. In fact, no one in his family is. They still haven't booked their travel. I feel bad b/c I keep nagging him about it, but then I have to think that maybe he's embarrassed b/c all of my family has booked and are psyched to go and his isn't. He said he would still get married whether or not they come, but I know it would upset him. I can't imagine my mom not coming to my weekend NO MATTER WHAT. I just want to shake his mom and be like "It's your son getting married. Why is there any hesitationhuh.gif" I guess my point is that no matter who comes and who doesn't, it's still your wedding and you have to do what makes you happy. I think even if we got married at home, his family would still have some sort of issue with something! (Sorry, I just realized this is a long vent, I should have started my own thread!)
Exactly!!!!
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you COULD ask where she will travel to...give her a list and have her choose (if you want to involve her that much) - does your FMIL think that florida is as bad as mexico? what about caribbean islands? you wouldn't have to give up the beach....

 

if you don't want to involve her, tell her to suck it up b/c you're doing what you want to do wink.gif

 

i know what you mean about shaking her and saying "what's wrong w/ you??" i feel like doing that to my whole family right now!

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I know what you mean about people being worried. I know when we were thinking of Mexico some people were worried about the murders at the resorts, but the fact is, over a million Canadians go to Mexico a year and have a great time. Really all you can do is try and reasure her. If she still doesnt want to go then you and your FI will have to decide what is best for everyeone.

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