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wedding shower etiquette...

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#1 FutureMrsTO

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    Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:41 PM

    so, my MOH has asked me for a list of guests that I'd like to invite to my wedding shower. Do you just ask the guests who plan on attending the wedding or do you invite everyone you invited to the wedding? I dont want to seem like we are out for gifts but I do think it would be nice to continue to include our family & friends who aren't able to make it to the wedding for one reason or another.....also what are your thoughts on a co-ed shower

    #2 Thomasjsgirl

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      Posted 31 March 2010 - 01:31 PM

      I don't think the fact that you're having a DW should have any bearing on the guest list. There are plenty who won't make it to the wedding, but would appreciate giving you and FI a little something, so invite the shower guests as if you were having a regular at-home wedding.

      I've never heard of co-ed showers, but i've attended my fair share of jack 'n jill parties, and they were always fun (but the bride/groom forgo their individual shower/stag and have the jack 'n jill party instead).
      Lucy & Tom - Married 24.11.08
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      #3 hiccups

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      • 224 posts

        Posted 31 March 2010 - 02:36 PM

        If they can't come to the wedding, they may want to come to the shower just to be a part or your wedding so I would say to invite everyone.

        Also, I threw a shower for my brother and sister-in-law (the wanted it to be co-ed) and it actually worked out nicely. We didn't have a specific theme...we had balloons of a groom and bride as decor, lots of food and games that included both the bride and groom.

        #4 FutureMrsTO

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          Posted 31 March 2010 - 09:40 PM

          After chatting w my MOH & FI we both agreed that we should invite everyone as well... and they can choose i guess to come or not. I dont want to assume to exclude them.
          my moh was thinking of doing a BBQ or luau possibly for the shower... we'll see :) ugh sometimes i think we are just playing by a different set of rules w the whole destination wedding! LOL
          thanks for the advice :)

          #5 skadow

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            Posted 31 March 2010 - 10:57 PM

            I have gone to wedding showers for people getting married out of the country and never thought a thing about it. I think it is rather common these days. People understand that somethings are just for family.

            #6 CristiandJamie

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              Posted 01 April 2010 - 01:42 PM

              This is MY rule of thumb (but I guess anything can go)... If they are invited to the destination wedding then you can invite them to the shower.

              IMO which I could be wrong, I think it looks bad to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding. It's like saying give me a gift but you cant come to my wedding. As long as they are invited to the destination wedding then I feel it is okay to invite them to the shower.
              Cristi & Jamie
              http://img.weddingco...er/7nhul9k2.png32 guests including Bride and Groom... and counting

              #7 Trinas79

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                Posted 01 April 2010 - 07:45 PM

                I agree, we are inviting all the women - those who are invited to the wedding and those who aren't. My feeling is that everyone would want to partake, even if they aren't coming/invited.

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