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Uninvited/Unwanted guests

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15 replies to this topic

#1 LuckyBride710

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  • 13 posts

    Posted 30 March 2010 - 12:07 AM

    By traveling down to Vegas I figured we would have no problem having people we did not want at our wedding to come. But now I am hearing that 2 people I really do not like and have had a rough history with are planning on going and leaving the day of my wedding. They are pretty shallow and are coming because our common friends are coming and they want to hang out with the group for the 3 days prior to the wedding.

    Is it wrong of me to send them an univitation?
    Should I speak with our mutual friends and ask that they inform these 2 unwanted guests how incredibly rude it is for them to crash my wedding week?

    I keep trying to get over it and be the mature one of the situation but I keep going back to the fact that I have done a lot of planning and do not want to associate with them or want our paths to cross.

    Please help me with ideas. These 2 people are extremly immature and in the past they have caused so much drama at get togethers and group events that I will be stressing so much on trying to avoid them and I think that it is unfair.

    #2 Mallory57

    • Jr. Member
    • 454 posts

      Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:27 AM

      Wow! It never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be!! I definitely wouldn't send them an invitation!! While you can't technically stop them from coming to your destination (Vegas is public terrain, afterall), you absolutely have the right to stop them from coming to your wedding or any wedding-related events...and if I were you, I would certainly do just that...just make sure you do it in a calm, non-bridezilla way so you come out looking like the better person that you are! Good luck :)
      35 (and counting) booked plus Bride & Groom!!

      #3 LuckyBride710

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      • 13 posts

        Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:59 AM

        I was thinking of approaching them. or sending them a note.

        #4 echo2_62

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        • 1,049 posts

          Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:56 AM

          difficult because as Mallory said above, Vegas is a hugely public place! But I think you could easily take a two step approach to this. First off, I'd try talking to one or two mutual friends - especially if they are in the wedding party and thus have a little stronger position - and ask them to casually and politely spread the word that only guests who have received invitations are welcome at any wedding related events. It's more of a passive way to handle things and might come across a little more gently.
          If these other few people don't get the hint at that point, then I think you would be ok to talk to them directly and say that while you can't tell them not to be in Vegas altogether, they need to respect that this trip is supposed to be for your wedding and not just some group party that they should be expecting to be a part of.

          Some people just don't realize how poorly they're behaving or what their actions are implying and they just need to be told. Good luck!

          #5 MDLady

          • Jr. Member
          • 433 posts

            Posted 30 March 2010 - 11:00 AM

            I agree with echo - I would ask the mutual friends to intervene on your behalf. If the "uninvited" come to Vegas and do their own thing, then who cares. But if they decide to call your mutual friends during the wedding festivities and decide to crash, then I would make it very very clear to your mutual friends to NOT let them know ANYTHING about the wedding - the when, the where, etc. It would be such a shame to have these people ruin your big day. But I would ask your friends to have your back on this one!!!

            #6 michelle10

            • Jr. Member
            • 157 posts

              Posted 30 March 2010 - 11:11 AM

              It would be nice if your mutual friends say something like, "I would love to hang out with you in Vegas sometime, but I am going to be really busy with wedding activities so this probably isn't the best week to do it. Can we plan a trip some other time?" That way they know they aren't invited, and your mutual friends are put in an awkward position in Vegas trying to spend time with two different groups of people.

              #7 lalanyc

              • Jr. Member
              • 363 posts

                Posted 31 March 2010 - 06:00 PM

                Yes, I agree that you should communicate to your mutual friends that you do not want these crashers to attend. Frankly, I think your friends would be "enablers" by not discouraging these people to come and implicitly agreeing to hang out w/ them while in Vegas. I'm assuming you're having a destination wedding, in part, to have quality time w/ your guests. I would not hesitate in pulling the guilt trip card and letting them know that your time together would be impeded by these crashers which ruins the purpose of having a destination wedding in the first place!

                You can also plan several formal or informal events for your guests in the days leading up to the wedding. This makes it clear to your friends that they wont have full days of free time to do whatever, rather they'll have daily commitments to hang out w/ you! :)

                #8 josietoms

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                  Posted 01 April 2010 - 02:36 PM

                  thumbs up to option 2 - going with the mutual friends. Its difficult to say they simply cant come to LV as this a holiday destination after all but i was thinking along the same lines as lalanyc - try to organise some informal get togethers in the days before - then surely they wont get crash. I cant believe how rude some people are!!!
                  Josie x

                  #9 Thomasjsgirl

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,098 posts

                    Posted 01 April 2010 - 02:56 PM

                    How incredibly rude!! I agree with michelle10 and lalanyc. Hopefully your invited guests can get the message across to these two without causing an all-out war.
                    Lucy & Tom - Married 24.11.08
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                    #10 bride7474

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                    • 582 posts

                      Posted 01 April 2010 - 03:19 PM

                      I wouldn't send them an invitaton. They won't really have a place to sit if you have a seating plan at your reception and they aren't included on it.

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