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No engagement ring syndrome

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#71 FabiLara

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    Posted 12 August 2011 - 03:25 PM

    I too am planning the wedding without him officially having proposed, but I don't mind it.


    FI and I are on a LDR (long distance relationship), so his opportunities are few and short (last time I saw him was 7 months ago...sigh). Granted, I'm Brazilian and the culture there is for both of us to have a commitment ring, like wedding bands, but on the right hand - which we have had since the first week of our relationship. :)


    I agree with what some of the girls said. Some guys need to be told! If you don't want to tell him because you don't think it'll be natural if you do, make a BFF hint at him!



    #72 lpAK

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      Posted 16 November 2011 - 05:22 PM

      Thank you everyone for sharing your story. My boyfriend and I are planning to get married after he returns from his year deployment in Afghanistan. We are planning to get married the following summer he returns. He says he wants to wait to propose after he gets back Fall/Early Winter 2012. I can respect that. His proposal would come within 6 months prior to our designated wedding date. 


      I am facing the following challenges:


      • June and July are the peak months for weddings here in Alaska and most vendors get booked between 8-12 months in advance
      • Our relatives and extended families live in the continental US and overseas...and they would need advance notice to make travel plans
      • Reception venues require a year to-date reservation


      I can not begin to tell you how AWKWARD it is to send "Unofficial" Save-the-dates and even start planning a wedding without a formal engagement or a ring. Ugh!! The last thing I want is some basement wedding. He has however, spoken to my father and his parents about his intentions to get married. 


      Thanks for listening to me rant :P


      #73 LPerry

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        Posted 23 December 2011 - 09:56 AM

        Finally! I found my people!!! Oh my goodness....I'm going through all of the above.


        This is #2 for both me an the BF, and he has a 9 year old son. We've been together about a year and a half. We're in our mid 30's...and we just "knew", or at least I did, very early on. When you've had the wrong one, when the right one is standing in front of you, you just don't need to go through the formality of the long courtship. It's like "Oh, this is how it is supposed to feel!". So I never felt a need to push, because we were on the same page. When the topic of rings came up, I said my cousin is a custom jeweler and I was not okay with him financing a ring. So poor guy is stuck paying cash. Ultimately, it's a much smarter decision...but timely because he didn't have $8K in his back pocket. But we're getting a much higher quality ring, and it's being hand made by my cousin which is so special. So I knew we were on track...I knew the plan...and I've been fine with it.


        The problem arose when a few months ago we started discussing the actual wedding. We realized when looking at the calendar that there were TWO WEEKS this summer where we could all get away for a destination wedding. When I checked availability at my 1st choice...it wasn't available. I said...holy crap...we need to book this thing! So a week later, he and I made the decision to book a July 28th wedding at Beach Palace in Cancun. We also had to start letting everyone know so they could book THEIR trips too. So yes...totally awkward trying to convince your friends and family to put down money for a destination wedding when there is no ring, and no proposal. Everyone kind of fakes excitement, but in the back of their minds, you know they're rolling their eyes and saying "You stupid little ninny". I feel like a wedding-obsessed, delusional idiot! I seriously can't wait to bust out that rock and say "How ya like me now??" LOL.


        I wish all of you the best of luck in 2012....and I know we will all be able to share our "moment" soon enough!

        #74 LPerry

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        • 71 posts

          Posted 27 December 2011 - 08:14 AM

          It's so funny that I posted this on a Friday, and two days later on Sunday, he proposed with the ring! AHHHH!!! Now I'm official and it feels great!


          Good luck ladies, and best wishes in 2012!

          #75 lavenderlux

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            Posted 29 December 2011 - 11:32 AM

            I hear all the time from others that the story of how he proposed is something you will be telling over and over again.

            #76 sgreen99

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              Posted 03 January 2012 - 05:05 PM

              Well I guess this is where I belong :)  I don't have a ring/proposal yet either.  We've done the buy a house thing, and a ring is definetely in the near (next few months) future, and we've long ago decided that a beach wedding is definetely the way we want to go.  I'm a busy busy lady with a full time job and a side business so I need all the time I can get for planning.  If figure there's no harm in looking around and starting to get some ideas, right?   hopefully soon I'll be able to post something in the ring forum ;)  I'm not one to rush him too much, I know it's taking a while because he's saving for something very nice, so that's fine by me!


              #77 Jessica Correa

              Jessica Correa
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              • 270 posts

                Posted 06 March 2013 - 11:29 PM

                Originally Posted by Melaina 

                Originally Posted by *HOLLY*
                A ring does not always symbolize an engagement. I have known ladies who have rec. necklaces, cars, and ever purchased a home in your case. If a ring is what you want let him know. I would not stay on his case to get one because when guys get pressured they pull away. Let it be and it will come up
                So true... I once knew a couple who gave each other an engagement rug. LOL.

                a rug?? thats so.. unusual 

                #78 Makapa14

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                  Posted 23 July 2013 - 06:05 PM

                  I've found my people! My boyfriend is planning to have a ring custom made. We are using the main emerald cut diamond from my late grandma's ring. He even showed me the design back in May! But hasn't started the process yet. It's sooo hard to wait! We've talked about getting married in cabo on our 5th anniversary (9.27.14) so he better get a move on so our friends and family can attend. He even said I can start planning! Weird middle ground to be in, I'll say!

                  #79 LiannaBanana

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 154 posts
                  • Wedding Date:April 1, 2015
                  • Wedding Location:Royalton Punta Cana
                  • LocationToronto, ON

                  Posted 18 April 2014 - 10:10 AM

                  My fiancĂ© and I have been together for 10 years.  He just asked me in December... so I feel your pain!  haha  We did talk about getting married, but i told him i wanted him to do something romantic when he was ready to ask me.


                  Its been 4 years since you posted this...... so have you gotten engaged or married yet?!

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