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No engagement ring syndrome


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#41 JennandMike08

JennandMike08
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    Posted 05 May 2010 - 01:30 PM

    Not to hijack the thread, but at this point I'm not sure how to feel. With four months left, I'm just not sure its going to happen. And with all of your stories, I feel like I may have take the opportunity away from FI altogether. I know he was planning but since he lost his job, without being able to secure a new one, quite honestly we've been on a tight budget. I even asked a hundred times if he was sure he still wanted to do this and he said yes he was positive AND didn't want to push the date again. So we are really budgeting on the wedding stuff. We're not struggling, but we're in premarital counseling and I've learned that he is starting to get really depressed about not working. So how can I, in the midst of his stress, even care about a proposal or ring, knowing he is trying his best to be a good provider AND not show that he is depressed or stressed by trying to keep me smiling as much as he can?? I feel so bad. Two weeks ago we went ring shopping. I could have easily put his wedding band on my credit card, but after the look on his face when he saw me beaming at a particular e-ring, I decided against it. I could so tell he was hurt that he just couldn't buy it right then and there. I didn't want to make him look bad, knowing him as a man and his ego. Does anyone have any advice for me??

    #42 CanadianLindsey

    CanadianLindsey
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      Posted 05 May 2010 - 04:14 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Jennybell1
      As much as I was loving being a part of this thread (ringless ladies) - I have to say Im even happier now that things have changed for me.......I'm ENGAGED!!!!
      He finally proposed last night!!!! So excited and surprised...I had no idea!
      So glad it finally happened - now I feel like I really can plan the wedding.

      Dont worry ladies - your rings are on their way - I have been planning for over 9 months without a ring ....and there is nothing wrong with that!

      Just wanted to share bc I was so excited - but I feel everyone's pain from experience....
      Excited to see who is next!!!
      Congratulations Jennybell!!

      #43 Jennybell1

      Jennybell1
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        Posted 06 May 2010 - 03:15 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by JennandMike08
        Not to hijack the thread, but at this point I'm not sure how to feel. With four months left, I'm just not sure its going to happen. And with all of your stories, I feel like I may have take the opportunity away from FI altogether. I know he was planning but since he lost his job, without being able to secure a new one, quite honestly we've been on a tight budget. I even asked a hundred times if he was sure he still wanted to do this and he said yes he was positive AND didn't want to push the date again. So we are really budgeting on the wedding stuff. We're not struggling, but we're in premarital counseling and I've learned that he is starting to get really depressed about not working. So how can I, in the midst of his stress, even care about a proposal or ring, knowing he is trying his best to be a good provider AND not show that he is depressed or stressed by trying to keep me smiling as much as he can?? I feel so bad. Two weeks ago we went ring shopping. I could have easily put his wedding band on my credit card, but after the look on his face when he saw me beaming at a particular e-ring, I decided against it. I could so tell he was hurt that he just couldn't buy it right then and there. I didn't want to make him look bad, knowing him as a man and his ego. Does anyone have any advice for me??
        My advice is this.....take with a grain of salt.....if you are planning the wedding anyways and are not planning on moving the date....then continue to plan your wedding. Nothing is going to change other then the fact that you have a ring on your finger. The ring doesnt symbolize his love and affection or commitment to you...him planning the wedding to marry you does. Other brides have gotten married prior to getting their E-ring for the very same reason. The economy has hit people hard and the e-ring is just a "thing". Yes we all want one and more then likely "need" one, but in the end - he is going to marry you regardless of a ring or not right? So dont pressure him - let him do it on his own, bc your right they have a pride thing going for them, and the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he isnt providing for you. He already knows how badly you want this and it probably kills him that he cant right now...but when the timing and money is right and the economy gets better in general and for him...tha will probably be the first thing he does for you.
        Dont fret my dear - he loves you and is planning to marry you - regardless of an e-ring - he has chosen you!

        #44 Jennybell1

        Jennybell1
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          Posted 06 May 2010 - 03:16 PM

          Thanks for all the well wishes ladies.....I can't wait to hear all the stories when your BF proposes to you all!!!

          #45 Ravywedding

          Ravywedding
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            Posted 06 May 2010 - 03:21 PM

            aww, hun you deserve it all! no worries, at least the subject has been broached..wat's the saying, will it and they will come :-)

            #46 Daily2011

            Daily2011
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              Posted 06 May 2010 - 03:31 PM

              Jennybell1--well said honey!!

              #47 JennandMike08

              JennandMike08
              • Jr. Member
              • 166 posts

                Posted 06 May 2010 - 04:09 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Jennybell1
                My advice is this.....take with a grain of salt.....if you are planning the wedding anyways and are not planning on moving the date....then continue to plan your wedding. Nothing is going to change other then the fact that you have a ring on your finger. The ring doesnt symbolize his love and affection or commitment to you...him planning the wedding to marry you does. Other brides have gotten married prior to getting their E-ring for the very same reason. The economy has hit people hard and the e-ring is just a "thing". Yes we all want one and more then likely "need" one, but in the end - he is going to marry you regardless of a ring or not right? So dont pressure him - let him do it on his own, bc your right they have a pride thing going for them, and the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he isnt providing for you. He already knows how badly you want this and it probably kills him that he cant right now...but when the timing and money is right and the economy gets better in general and for him...tha will probably be the first thing he does for you.
                Dont fret my dear - he loves you and is planning to marry you - regardless of an e-ring - he has chosen you!
                Thanks so much for this. You're so right.

                #48 Jennybell1

                Jennybell1
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                  Posted 07 May 2010 - 01:29 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by JennandMike08
                  Thanks so much for this. You're so right.
                  Your more then welcome.....you will have that e-ring soon enough and when you do - you need to post a pic of it for us ok?

                  #49 AishaB

                  AishaB
                  • Sr. Member
                  • 2,350 posts

                    Posted 12 May 2010 - 07:13 PM

                    It sounds like you guys are on your way. I think he is going to surprise you so good, you wont even see it coming. Trust you're getting the ring soon girl!
                    BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

                    #50 YIweddings

                    YIweddings
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                      Posted 06 June 2010 - 07:50 PM

                      When I started this thread I wasn't sure where it would go. It seems I had a found a few kindred brides to be.

                      I am thrilled to say that I am now engaged!! We've made so many plans and even bought a house just over a month ago so I wasn't sure if a ring was in my future.
                      I couldn't be happier and now only have to worry about not walking into walls while I stare at my left hand.

                      All my best to the ladies on this site.
                      Soon to be Mrs. Kramer




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