Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
YIweddings

No engagement ring syndrome

Recommended Posts

Not to hijack the thread, but at this point I'm not sure how to feel. With four months left, I'm just not sure its going to happen. And with all of your stories, I feel like I may have take the opportunity away from FI altogether. I know he was planning but since he lost his job, without being able to secure a new one, quite honestly we've been on a tight budget. I even asked a hundred times if he was sure he still wanted to do this and he said yes he was positive AND didn't want to push the date again. So we are really budgeting on the wedding stuff. We're not struggling, but we're in premarital counseling and I've learned that he is starting to get really depressed about not working. So how can I, in the midst of his stress, even care about a proposal or ring, knowing he is trying his best to be a good provider AND not show that he is depressed or stressed by trying to keep me smiling as much as he can?? I feel so bad. Two weeks ago we went ring shopping. I could have easily put his wedding band on my credit card, but after the look on his face when he saw me beaming at a particular e-ring, I decided against it. I could so tell he was hurt that he just couldn't buy it right then and there. I didn't want to make him look bad, knowing him as a man and his ego. Does anyone have any advice for me??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennybell1 View Post
As much as I was loving being a part of this thread (ringless ladies) - I have to say Im even happier now that things have changed for me.......I'm ENGAGED!!!!
He finally proposed last night!!!! So excited and surprised...I had no idea!
So glad it finally happened - now I feel like I really can plan the wedding.

Dont worry ladies - your rings are on their way - I have been planning for over 9 months without a ring ....and there is nothing wrong with that!

Just wanted to share bc I was so excited - but I feel everyone's pain from experience....
Excited to see who is next!!!
Congratulations Jennybell!! smile29.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennandMike08 View Post
Not to hijack the thread, but at this point I'm not sure how to feel. With four months left, I'm just not sure its going to happen. And with all of your stories, I feel like I may have take the opportunity away from FI altogether. I know he was planning but since he lost his job, without being able to secure a new one, quite honestly we've been on a tight budget. I even asked a hundred times if he was sure he still wanted to do this and he said yes he was positive AND didn't want to push the date again. So we are really budgeting on the wedding stuff. We're not struggling, but we're in premarital counseling and I've learned that he is starting to get really depressed about not working. So how can I, in the midst of his stress, even care about a proposal or ring, knowing he is trying his best to be a good provider AND not show that he is depressed or stressed by trying to keep me smiling as much as he can?? I feel so bad. Two weeks ago we went ring shopping. I could have easily put his wedding band on my credit card, but after the look on his face when he saw me beaming at a particular e-ring, I decided against it. I could so tell he was hurt that he just couldn't buy it right then and there. I didn't want to make him look bad, knowing him as a man and his ego. Does anyone have any advice for me??
My advice is this.....take with a grain of salt.....if you are planning the wedding anyways and are not planning on moving the date....then continue to plan your wedding. Nothing is going to change other then the fact that you have a ring on your finger. The ring doesnt symbolize his love and affection or commitment to you...him planning the wedding to marry you does. Other brides have gotten married prior to getting their E-ring for the very same reason. The economy has hit people hard and the e-ring is just a "thing". Yes we all want one and more then likely "need" one, but in the end - he is going to marry you regardless of a ring or not right? So dont pressure him - let him do it on his own, bc your right they have a pride thing going for them, and the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he isnt providing for you. He already knows how badly you want this and it probably kills him that he cant right now...but when the timing and money is right and the economy gets better in general and for him...tha will probably be the first thing he does for you.
Dont fret my dear - he loves you and is planning to marry you - regardless of an e-ring - he has chosen you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennybell1 View Post
My advice is this.....take with a grain of salt.....if you are planning the wedding anyways and are not planning on moving the date....then continue to plan your wedding. Nothing is going to change other then the fact that you have a ring on your finger. The ring doesnt symbolize his love and affection or commitment to you...him planning the wedding to marry you does. Other brides have gotten married prior to getting their E-ring for the very same reason. The economy has hit people hard and the e-ring is just a "thing". Yes we all want one and more then likely "need" one, but in the end - he is going to marry you regardless of a ring or not right? So dont pressure him - let him do it on his own, bc your right they have a pride thing going for them, and the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he isnt providing for you. He already knows how badly you want this and it probably kills him that he cant right now...but when the timing and money is right and the economy gets better in general and for him...tha will probably be the first thing he does for you.
Dont fret my dear - he loves you and is planning to marry you - regardless of an e-ring - he has chosen you!
Thanks so much for this. You're so right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennandMike08 View Post
Thanks so much for this. You're so right.
Your more then welcome.....you will have that e-ring soon enough and when you do - you need to post a pic of it for us ok?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you guys are on your way. I think he is going to surprise you so good, you wont even see it coming. Trust you're getting the ring soon girl!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I started this thread I wasn't sure where it would go. It seems I had a found a few kindred brides to be.

 

I am thrilled to say that I am now engaged!! We've made so many plans and even bought a house just over a month ago so I wasn't sure if a ring was in my future.

I couldn't be happier and now only have to worry about not walking into walls while I stare at my left hand.

 

All my best to the ladies on this site.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • we ended up using Facebook messenger when we were in Mexico - the hotel had free wifi and at least 1 person from each family/couple had FB on their phone already - it was pretty easy to communicate among guests "hey, we're heading to the beach bbq for lunch." or "everyone is hanging at the small pool today".  a plus was that some people tried to get a hold of me via FB on the day of the wedding and I was totally not checking my phone - they were asking if the wedding was outside given the rain forecast, thankful my mom, MOH and a few other friends were on the group and could respond for me :) 
    • Are you looking for a guide where you’ll find many tips and steps to follow to make your wedding a success? We design a special for you, where you will find: Photography Tips To-Do List Check list How to choose the best dress? Memories and invitations And much more! Download it now for free from: http://emweddings.com/WeddingGuide/index.html     Don’t stress. Enjoy every moment, tomorrow will be your best memories. See you soon!
    • Another option is to find an app that allows for group talk. This Wedding Party App looks pretty neat. https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-party-app/ 
    • Hi Everyone, So, I was cleaning out my closet and realized that I never sold off my extra wedding OOT bag stuff from our wonderful DW.   46 Daily Spanish for Dummies 30 Pool colored OOT fabric bags - approximately 13in x 13in. They lay flat.  I used them for our wedding and they were perfect for everything we needed to fit in each bag. There’s a slight shade variation in the group; I’m guessing some were cut from a different bolt of fabric.  They are also a little wrinkled from storage and will probably be wrinkled from shipping. I have three additional ones, but they somehow got something on them (likely toddler related). If needed, I can try to wash it out and send those as well. 
    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
  • Topics

×