No engagement ring syndrome

[sebitasalejo]

YIweddings, YAY!

JennandMike08, I almost cried when I read your initial post (because of your sensitivity to his situation). Who knows, maybe he'll give you the ring when he is in a better shape after you get married, like in Sex And The City 2 (I know, cheesy!). You can always ask for one when you know he can afford it!

[cookiemunchkin]

I have to ask... if you are in the midst of planning a wedding, why is a proposal still necessary? I'm in the same boat as most of you... no ring (yet!), no proposal, yet we've set a date and are planning. If anyone tells you that you are not engaged until you have a ring, I think you should feel free to tell them to pull their head out of their a$$!! Really, "engaged" does not mean you have a ring... it means you are planning a wedding.

 

Yes it would have been nice to have that wonderful romantic proposal that so many other women get to have, but lack of proposal (or ring for that matter) does not mean you are not engaged. I think expecting a proposal after you've already decided to set a date and start planning a wedding makes no sense... its just an awkward formality at that point, isn't it?

 

But I do agree with what everyone is saying... it would have been sooo nice to have a romantic proposal. And to have the ring before we started planning everything :S

[YIweddings]

Thanks Sebitasalejo,

 

We did get engaged and I am blissfully happy (see my post just before yours).

 

It did seem pointless to want a proposal after we made plans but it is one of a few life changing things a guy can plan for in his life. I felt I took it away from him even though he was onboard with the planning from the beginning.

 

I just needed to know that I wasn't pressuring him and a proposal (with or without a ring) was that memorable moment in time that was ours always and forever.

 

My FI knew how my brother proposed: amazing race style through Ireland, hidden clues, a charter plane, misty waves of the ocean, a pocketwatch with a timeless quote... and although he may not be as creative he wanted to at least create our own story.

 

Love that guy!

[msjulie5475]

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[MissSimone]

OMG I feel so much better. I joined the forum in May and am happily planning my 2013 wedding with no ring. I thought I was the only one. My bf thinks its a good idea for me to do this bc we both know we definitely want to get married by then. But still all this wedding talk makes me very itchy for a ring.

[spicytuna]

we're only two months away from our wedding - and i WISH i had started before we got engaged because we still have so much left to do! enjoy the time and good for you not getting wrapped up in the whole ring ordeal!

[soontobemrsdow]

Yes I did get the proposal down on one knee but a few months before it happened we were talking about getting married one day while we were driving somewhere and the speech he gave me then about his everlasting love and that we were put on this world to be together and we will get married someday will always be in my heart his real proposal. I know a perfect proposal is almost every girls dream and I'm sure you'll get it at some point but I'm sure you've also already gotten it in some way.

[islandbride317]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YIweddings When I started this thread I wasn't sure where it would go. It seems I had a found a few kindred brides to be. I am thrilled to say that I am now engaged!! We've made so many plans and even bought a house just over a month ago so I wasn't sure if a ring was in my future. I couldn't be happier and now only have to worry about not walking into walls while I stare at my left hand. All my best to the ladies on this site.

CONGRATULATIONS, sweetheart! Enjoy your new *bling* to the fullest! I am THRILLED FOR YOU!

And I know I am late to the party posting in this thread, but I don't think any of you are out of line to be expecting a ring to give you that symbol of pre-marital commitment -- it's NOT your fault!

We, as women, are somewhat raised to think things are "supposed" to happen in a certain order, that we are "supposed" to have this mind-blowing engagement story, and the most jaw-dropping ring ever....but reality is typically never as grand as fantasy.

What you CAN count on is that your men love you. Any wedding planning would have been stopped in it's tracks if he WASN'T committed, and I certainly understand how a man's pride can prevent him from proposing, simply because he cannot afford the ring of your dreams.

What my husband and I did was talk about the ring I said I wanted vs. what we could afford at the time we got engaged. And we found a ring that we both loved for the time being, always knowing we'd upgrade in the future if/when we might be able to. That way, he was still able to be proud that he had given me a ring I loved, and I still had a story to tell to everyone who he KNEW would ask -- it was a win-win for both of us!

Anyway, just my $.02. GOOD LUCK girls!

[MissSimone]

I keep dropping my bf little hints. But i know he wont propose until he gets a better job and graduates from school. But all this talk of rings makes my hand all itchy. lol

[lyndsay_h]

Understandable! My FI and I have been together for 9 years and I always assumed that we'd eventually just decide to get married the way you did. Years ago we talked and wanted to start a family instead of spending a lot of money on a wedding (definitely not a decision a lot of people understand!) But a year ago he actually proposed with a cheapy ring we'd had around and some ring pops, with the intention that I'd pick out my own ring. I didn't think I'd care until after hearing our engagement news people would immediately grab my hand to see my "new ring".

 

But then when I was looking for a ring it didn't feel right that so much would be spent on something just for me when we have a house and a daughter...so my SIL suggested a man made diamond and I really loved the idea. So I got this Diamond Nexus Labs Engagement Rings | Lab Created | Ornate Styles

It looks amazing, and theres no difference between a man made diamond or a mined diamond other than where it came from so noone can tell unless you actually tell them yourself. Maybe that's an idea you guys can afford, and you still get a really great ring.