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Bye Bye Friend

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#1 donutdjn

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  • 419 posts

    Posted 27 March 2010 - 10:25 AM

    The worst thing about organising a wedding is that you realise who your true friends are. We have booked our wedding in Jamacia and understandably do not expect our friends to be able to afford to come from the UK, amazingly some have and we have 38 of travelling over in July :-)

    I have organsed my hen night for the UK, on a budget, cheap and cheerful so all can afford, one of my old best friends (we have drifted apart in recent years) can not come as she doesnt want to leave her 5 year old son at home with her husband for the night. This is the same friend that I went to Ibiza with when my son was a baby as she was in crisis and she needed me.

    So angry so just wanted to vent :-(

    I do have a massive 42 other friends coming to hen though :-)

    Anyone else experienced the same thing?

    #2 yumyum90

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    • 183 posts

      Posted 27 March 2010 - 11:33 AM

      You are defintely not alone. I have read of many women on this board who are in the same position and I am one of them. I had one of my bridesmaids bail on me to get a dog. Other friends have claimed they couldn't afford it even when the prices dropped to $350/pp for 3 nights. I've decided that people who want to be there will and those who can't, well I don't know about those people. Some people in this economy defintely have money problems, or don't see a destination wedding as much of a priority. I've decided that we just have to choose to be happy with who is there. Don't worry about those who can't make it, I'm sure if you were getting married locally they would be there.

      For me its been especially hurtful because out of 7 friends I invited only 1 has attempted to come while my fiancee's friends have all agreed to be there. It's defintely hurtful, but it's also just one day out of the rest of our whole lives that we have to live. As a bride don't let that bring you down. Celebrate with those who will be there and for those who don't show up, I hope they at least send a card or a gift of acknowledgement. If they don't do that then I would really question their sincerity.

      #3 donutdjn

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      • 419 posts

        Posted 27 March 2010 - 01:07 PM

        thanks yum yum x

        #4 Melidell

        • Sr. Member
        • 1,091 posts

          Posted 27 March 2010 - 01:48 PM

          That's really sad about your friend. The wedding I can see (like you said, it's hard to get away like that) but if she can't spare even one evening for you that's totally different. It sounds like you guys have just drifted apart, unfortunately. I'd would just focus on the amazing people who will be there with you for your hens night and the great time you'll have at your wedding and try not to let this get to you. You're going to have so much fun at both you wont even notice she's not there. At the end of the day it's really her loss.
          Loving married life!

          #5 donutdjn

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          • 419 posts

            Posted 28 March 2010 - 08:40 AM

            thank you x

            #6 sungoddess_08

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              Posted 28 March 2010 - 08:58 PM

              I understand! My best friend said she could not afford to come to our wedding and be a bridesmaid. She said they couldn't afford it - and I just found out they booked a trip to Mexico this month. I am hurt, and mad -- I just can't believe she'd lie to me about it.
              I completley understand, and unfortunately this sort of thing happens and shows who your true friends are.

              #7 Mrs.B

              • Jr. Member
              • 455 posts

                Posted 28 March 2010 - 09:09 PM

                You can't let one chicken (or hen) stop the show! Weddings are a true testament of friendship.

                #8 donutdjn

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                • 419 posts

                  Posted 30 March 2010 - 08:24 AM

                  at least i now know and wont invest any more of my time with her, was very rash and even deleted her from facebook - strange that her mum and sister are coming to the hen and to jamaica - its a very strange world - so excited!

                  #9 Gazziegirl

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                  • 66 posts

                    Posted 30 March 2010 - 08:43 AM

                    I understand how you feel..My best friend told me in the beginning that she would come. She was suppose to be my MOH. Now she is telling me that she wont be about to make it. We have been best friends for 20yrs. We even chose a resort that allowed 5 people per room because she said that it would be the whole family. Now I dont have a MOH and it really sucks...

                    #10 donutdjn

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 419 posts

                      Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:00 AM

                      that's really sad ;-(

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