April 2011 Brides

[Meggers7484]

That's definitely a toughie, and I'm sure your FI is sensitive about it. I would be frustrated too and I definitely feel the "taking on someone else's burdens" thing. I think that if you do talk to FI you need to be very, very delicate with how you approach it. You won't be able to change his family, so all you can change it how you see it I guess. Money is fluid. Try to picture the money from your parents as the money for your wedding, and any money you give to his parents as being from your FI's own pocket. You will only feel more emotional if you picture it as being ted to your hard working and generous parents.

[Lua]

mocha - i couldn't even imagine having to leave after a work day!!! our trip is wed-wed (it was cheaper) so i just took the full 2 weeks off of work... we also fly out at something like 6:45 am on the 6th, so ther was no way i was working the day before.. i'm going to thave to get up at like 3am! (airport is an hr away)

 

as for your family $ thing.. $ is always such an awkward topic.. as hard as it might be, part of me wants to say if your parents want to help $-wise, i'd just let them.  my parents would have offered the same if i hadn't taken their 'wedding money' as my down payment 4 years ago when i was engaged to my ex.... and then FI's parents are fronting the bill for our AHR.. only cuz it's not the bbq that i wanted and essentially said i wouldn't spend my $ on a hall reception LOL

[Meggers7484]

*tied not ted

[Lua]

mocha - now that i see other posts.. if you choose to take the $ from your parents, you just have to somehow get FI to understand that it's for the two of you and your wedding.. not FI's family...

[mochamakes3]

I think it's because I look at it this way. We didn't need extra money to buy the house, my parents gave us money to help out with all the expenses (worded as since you aren't getting married here's what we gave your sister when she got married). So with their money, we were able to get some new furniture all at once instead of gradually. We are trying to prepay our mortgage as much as we can since the rates are so low and contribute to our retirement so that we can have a better life early on. But because FI had to bail out his parents, he wasn't able to contribute to the retirement, just the mortgage.

 

So either way, if he had to give money to his parents it comes from our future savings!  The deal I had with FI was that I would pay for DW and he would pay for AHR. I'm tempted to just put any of their gift money away for when I'm on mat leave.

[Ellabaja1983]

Mocha, I couldn't imagine being in that situation....I'm so sorry.  You've gotta try to look at it like some of the other ladies said, their money is for the wedding, it's FIs money that goes to his parents, not your money or your parents... FI is the one who is willing to give them his money.  I know it isn't easy, but it's the only thing that can help you...maybe...
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lua 

mocha - i couldn't even imagine having to leave after a work day!!! our trip is wed-wed (it was cheaper) so i just took the full 2 weeks off of work... we also fly out at something like 6:45 am on the 6th, so ther was no way i was working the day before.. i'm going to thave to get up at like 3am! (airport is an hr away)

 

This is exactly how I am doing it too.  Our trip is wed-wed, and I'm talking the full two weeks.  I couldn't imagine leaving after a work day. It's bad enough our bowling league finishes the night before we leave....so we'll be busy with that.  It makes it that much better that I'm taking the Mon & Tues off so I can pack!

[Ellabaja1983]

 

 

Originally Posted by mochamakes3 

 

 I'm tempted to just put any of their gift money away for when I'm on mat leave.

 

I like this!  A splended idea!

 

 

[mochamakes3]

I guess my trip schedule really sucks in comparison! I have to work Friday, FI's parents and 2 GM will be driving to our house Friday night and we are having a limo pick us all up for our 10 am flight. And I still have to find someone to take our dog!

[Meggers7484]

The mat leave thing is a great call!

 

We leave on a Tuesday and since the trip is over Easter I have a bonus day in there, so I just took the Monday off to make it a full two weeks. I plan on using the Monday to do all of my pampering - waxing, mani/pedi, maybe even my zoom whitening.

[Lua]

OOOOO I have some really cool/exciting news!

 

I've been trying to figure out what to use for my "something old" for a while now.. I guess my mom emailed my grandma last night asking her because she was coming down to visit for the weekend. So my grandma showed up at my parents' house the same time as me for lunch today with a little box filled of old things that I can pick from.

 

SO, providing the jeweller can clean and resize it in the next week and a half, my something old will be a ring ... 10K gold with 3 stones which look like 2 diamons and a sapphire in the middle.  My grandma isn't 100% sure if the stones are real though, but no matter.. they'll look awesome when it's cleaned.  The cool thing is that the ring belonged to my GREAT-GREAT-Grandmother!!! My grandmother's dad's mother.

 

How cool is that?!

 

My grandma's words "I can only hope that you'll continue to wear it after your wedding day".

 

I really hope the jeweller can get it fixed up for me in time!