April 2011 Brides

[Lua]

*sigh* ... my FMIL is driving me nuts!!!!  i'm totally sharing this with you guys because I have no one else to vent to!!!

I designed our invites to the AHR last week... parents wanted to see them before we sent off to vista print - fine.  we sent to FI's parents just to ask about the timing --- they are paying for it all and booked the hall and such, so we have no idea.  and we thought putting a time of 5:00-10:00 would be a stealthy way to let people know that it is just a dinner no dance or speeches.  Now remember that -- when FI and I agreed to have it at the hall (we wanted a backyard BBQ) we made it clear to his parents that it will just be dinner NO SPEECHES or dance.

 

Anyway the invite essentially said:

 

Laura (middle name + last name)

and

Chris (middle name + last name)

 

Will be getting married

April 9, 2011

in a small ceremony on

the island of Jamaica

 

Please join them for a

celebratory Polish feast

once they have returned

 

June 25, 2011

5:00pm-10:00pm

General Sikorski Hall

**address

Oshawa, ON

 

Please RSVP via email by May 28, 2011

***our email address***

 

Simple and explanatory right???? The working fit the card perfectly and looked good.

 

Are you ready??   ****please tell me if it's just my stress taking over and it really isn't that bad... but I got the feeling that FMIL is essentially re-writing our invites for us***

 

"Maybe you could say something like …â€.join us for a  celebratory get-together of delicious food and drink over great conversation between friends and family† If you plan to have a photo collage running of the wedding in Jamaica, you might want to mention that also somehow.  (By the way, people who aren’t going on the trip have expressed their hope that you will do so). 
 
How about mentioning Saturday, June 25th
 
Where you say General Sikorski Polish Veteran’s Hall, you should also state (Lower Level).  As you know, they can either enter from the front entrance and head down the stairs or come around the back entrance and enter directly through the lower level entrance doors.
 
  We feel strongly that some friends who rarely see each other might wish to fully enjoy this opportunity to spend time together and it would be pretty distasteful to insist that they have to leave by 10:00pm.  At traditional weddings, the buffet isn’t even served until 11:00pm.  If you think about it, by the time they’ve had dinner, then coffee, dessert, etc., time will fly.  Maybe one or two of your friends might want to get up and say something.   Isn’t Mikey going to sing something?
 
As for the RSVP, we think you should also provide a phone number.  Some might prefer to phone rather than email.  Something you maybe didn’t think of is that some people will want direction as to a wedding gift.  I don’t know if you just want to leave that out and people will maybe phone us folks for direction and/or suggestions to which we would tactfully reply that a monetary gift would be preferable.   The other thing is that with the reply cards people usually mail back, they state how many people will be attending.  Eg. Our friends from Kitchener – there could be 4 coming or only 2.  Of course, you’ll need to know that information in order to know how much food to order from the kitchen.   So, it should maybe read as follows:
 
“Please reply giving number of persons attending by May 28th to:  our phone # and email"

 

To be 100% honest, I really wish I didn't have to go through with this AHR.... ugh!!

[Lua]

on another note - Brandy you're invites are looking FANTASTIC!!!

[mochamakes3]

Laura I completely understand.  Sometimes I wonder why these people don't just have their own weddings if they want everything their way. Oh wait, you had your chance, now it's my turn.

 

As for her comments, I will agree to adding Saturday (just because people are sometimes silly/stupid) and the Lower Level (same reason) and the phone number for her reasons. I don't think it's necessary to tell them about the video/photo collage because it is a nice surprise and shouldn't be a reason to attend/not attend. I don't think the time is being distasteful, it is a guideline. She is funny though, talking about a traditional reception even though you two have clearly expressed that is not your intention. You can tell her it is extremely distasteful to mention gift intentions. It is an invite to attend a celebration, not a direction for a gift.
 

Originally Posted by Lua 

*sigh* ... my FMIL is driving me nuts!!!!  i'm totally sharing this with you guys because I have no one else to vent to!!!

I designed our invites to the AHR last week... parents wanted to see them before we sent off to vista print - fine.  we sent to FI's parents just to ask about the timing --- they are paying for it all and booked the hall and such, so we have no idea.  and we thought putting a time of 5:00-10:00 would be a stealthy way to let people know that it is just a dinner no dance or speeches.  Now remember that -- when FI and I agreed to have it at the hall (we wanted a backyard BBQ) we made it clear to his parents that it will just be dinner NO SPEECHES or dance.

 

Anyway the invite essentially said:

 

Laura (middle name + last name)

and

Chris (middle name + last name)

 

Will be getting married

April 9, 2011

in a small ceremony on

the island of Jamaica

 

Please join them for a

celebratory Polish feast

once they have returned

 

June 25, 2011

5:00pm-10:00pm

General Sikorski Hall

**address

Oshawa, ON

 

Please RSVP via email by May 28, 2011

***our email address***

 

Simple and explanatory right???? The working fit the card perfectly and looked good.

 

Are you ready??   ****please tell me if it's just my stress taking over and it really isn't that bad... but I got the feeling that FMIL is essentially re-writing our invites for us***

 

"Maybe you could say something like …â€.join us for a  celebratory get-together of delicious food and drink over great conversation between friends and family† If you plan to have a photo collage running of the wedding in Jamaica, you might want to mention that also somehow.  (By the way, people who aren’t going on the trip have expressed their hope that you will do so). 
 
How about mentioning Saturday, June 25th
 
Where you say General Sikorski Polish Veteran’s Hall, you should also state (Lower Level).  As you know, they can either enter from the front entrance and head down the stairs or come around the back entrance and enter directly through the lower level entrance doors.
 
  We feel strongly that some friends who rarely see each other might wish to fully enjoy this opportunity to spend time together and it would be pretty distasteful to insist that they have to leave by 10:00pm.  At traditional weddings, the buffet isn’t even served until 11:00pm.  If you think about it, by the time they’ve had dinner, then coffee, dessert, etc., time will fly.  Maybe one or two of your friends might want to get up and say something.   Isn’t Mikey going to sing something?
 
As for the RSVP, we think you should also provide a phone number.  Some might prefer to phone rather than email.  Something you maybe didn’t think of is that some people will want direction as to a wedding gift.  I don’t know if you just want to leave that out and people will maybe phone us folks for direction and/or suggestions to which we would tactfully reply that a monetary gift would be preferable.   The other thing is that with the reply cards people usually mail back, they state how many people will be attending.  Eg. Our friends from Kitchener – there could be 4 coming or only 2.  Of course, you’ll need to know that information in order to know how much food to order from the kitchen.   So, it should maybe read as follows:
 
“Please reply giving number of persons attending by May 28th to:  our phone # and email"

 

To be 100% honest, I really wish I didn't have to go through with this AHR.... ugh!!

 

[Brandy]

Thank you Laura!!

 

Ok wow thats just crazy!! I know how you feel though, sometimes I wish we werent having one either, its been pretty stressful, everything with the DW Ive made all the choices on my own and my mom has let me make all the choices, now the AHR thats a totally different story, FI mother is in the wedding business so whenever I want to do something out of the oridinary she gives me this look shes more of a traditional wedding kinda gal, and has a say in alot for our AHR whatever I dont care really it just gets stressful I know how you feel!!! Anyways, I think your wording on your invites were fine, I loved them!!! I think you should leave them honestly, if anything maybe her suggestion about the phone number is okay, I have noticed that not a lot of people like to get on computers, we made our wedding site and maybe only 10 people actually looked at it, I guess some people just dont get on the net, so the leaving the phone number might be a good option but other than that I think what you have is perfect.

[Lua]

mocha i was so tempted to write her back but stopped myself because i'd get in trouble! LOL

 

i'm telling you FI's parents just can't grasp the fact that this is NOT a traditional reception... and that it's OURS not theirs!! ... they are basing it all to accomodate THEIR friends.. people i have never heard of or met.... and NO speeches!!! LMAO

[Lua]

thanks for the input Brandy

aside from adding 'saturday' and phone number i don't want to make any other changes either. hopefully FI sticks up for me and agrees. as for putting something asking people to tell us how many are coming??? i'm pretty sure people would do that anyway. the invites aren't going to a group regardless... they'll be to singles or couples.

[Ellabaja1983]

 

Originally Posted by Brandy 

Thanks Erin, what did you decide on the shoes, are you going to order them from advantage bridal?

Advantage Bridal?  Do they have the Nina shoes there??  I guess I'm a little confused and may have missed something... 

Originally Posted by mochamakes3 

Erin, I can totally see that happening. I hope the future in-laws are bright enough to realize that it is still a fairly formal reception and there will not be room for people that decide to come at the last minute or just show up. I know that there's already stress on FI's side between the two families and this will probably add to it. But if they can't be courteous to us why would we want them at our special event. We decided last night to make it a luncheon to save his family hotel costs.

It always seems to happen to some degree.  I know that for my brother's wedding (like 10 years ago), my aunt and uncle brought their whole family (like 6 people) and they didn't even get an invite, let alone RSVP to it.  They only had enough extra plates for half of them... oh, and these were relatives that our family didn't even talk to.  Hopefully you won't have much of a problem!  My fingers are crossed for you!

 

Laura, I think she has a few valid points, but I also know where you are coming from because you didn't want to do this to begin with.  I think the only things I'd really change are adding the phone number (because unfortunately, she is right...) and if it could be confusing on where they go (lower level) it might be helpful...  Remember you are going to have some people that have never been there before, if you add the lower level, it may help them a lot.  Other than that, I don't know that I would care about anything else.  If you do need to base your food of numbers for the caterer, you may want to figure out how you are going to keep track of that.
 

 

[Brandy]

Laura, yes most people know that they should let you know how many LOL, yeah that would be the changes I would make with the number and saturday.

 

Erin, yeah I posted it a while back you may have missed it with all the posts going on yesterday lol, yeah I ordered mine from advantage bridal and they came within a few days, they have the ivory, white, black and silver

[mochamakes3]

Laura it's no wonder MIL's get such a bad reputation. Most of us have no problem telling our own mothers how we feel, but it's much more difficult when it's someone else. I wish you all the luck. 

 

You can always invite some of us local April brides to make it a less stressful, more enjoyable night, at least you talk to us almost every day.

[Brandy]

LOL, we would totally come to eachothers weddings!! If I lived closer of course LOL