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Dumped by a BM via text message!

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#1 ~Crista-Lee~

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    Posted 18 March 2010 - 09:19 PM

    When I got engaged I instantly knew who I wanted my BM's to be! We were all that good of friends...

    Tonight while I was at the gym (and she knew I would be there and knew that I won't take my phone) she sent me a text message telling me she won't be coming to my wedding and that our friendship is over! She told me that she feels we've grown apart but she's not willing to work on this friendship because she's 31 and she has to start making decisions for herself?!?! I agree we've grown apart but it had more to do with jealousy of our other best friend dating my FI's best friend.

    She said she always felt left out.. but only because she would always cancel and feels none of us have anything in common anymore. She's right, but it's only because she's made some pretty stupid choices lately - moving in with a guy she was just barely dating... cheating on him... the list goes on.

    Honestly, it's a weight lifted off my shoulders. I knew we weren't as close as we used to be, but I still loved her and cared for her.

    Before tonight I had decided to not have a MOH but instead just 4 BM's. I knew if I'd chosen the one I truly wanted as my MOH, it would have upset her... so I didn't do it for her?? What was I thinking?? This is my wedding!!!

    I can go to bed tonight knowing I was always a good friend to her and if she doesn't want to my friend or a part of my life... then I just have to let her go.

    C'est la vie!

    #2 Mischaka

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    • 969 posts

      Posted 18 March 2010 - 09:43 PM

      wow!!! unfortunately you know that she wasn't really the good friend she lead you to believe. I've had girls like that in my life. you just need to let those people go. now i'm sure you'll feel alot better on your wedding worry free!!!

      #3 sungoddess_08

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      • 829 posts

        Posted 18 March 2010 - 09:59 PM

        I agree -- c'est la vie! But, I definately think that unfortunately weddings are a time when you see others true feelings and how their friendships are in reality -- whether genuine or not.
        I'm sure it's a blessing that she backed out -- but if she's going to do so in such a disrespectful and immature way, then you do not need her in your life anyways!

        #4 JENISE

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        • 652 posts

          Posted 18 March 2010 - 10:02 PM

          It's so sad when people who you care deeply about do not reciprocate the feelings. But, what's mean to be will be. Now you can have a worry free wedding and move on.

          Hey, are you now going to ask your bestie to be your MOH now that you're not worried about "hurting someone else's feelings?" I think you should go for it.

          Good luck with everything.

          #5 vdaybride

          • Sr. Member
          • 1,412 posts

            Posted 18 March 2010 - 11:20 PM

            WOW! who does that!?! REALLY via text message. She has the mentality of a 4th grader. I would say, good riddings and focus on the love of your life and people around you that have your best interests in mind. Plan the wedding of your dreams and don't let her rain on your parade! Good luck!
            Married 2-14-2010 Dreams, Los Cabos


            #6 josietoms

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              Posted 19 March 2010 - 08:33 AM

              Seriously by text - thats what kids at school do! I dont mean to sound harsh but i think she wasnt the true friend she had led you to believe; especially if you have been a great mate. Just think that you can now concentrate on those BMs that are there and are your true friends - you can also spoil them that little bit more now :-)
              Josie x

              #7 Cindy*

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                Posted 19 March 2010 - 08:38 AM

                I agree, she was likely never a true friend to begin with and you are likely better off without her. The fact that you are able to let it go so easily also suggests that she was never that great a friend or you would probably be a lot more upset. I would focus on your true friends, the ones that are there for you and sharing in your joy and not give her another thought.

                #8 AlexsBride

                • Jr. Member
                • 401 posts

                  Posted 19 March 2010 - 08:53 AM

                  Sounds like she would have been a pain in the ass bridesmaid anyway and you're probably better off without her. The thing is, as we get older and get with our significant other, we do drift apart from our friends a little. But when I do eventually catch one my Best friends on the phone after not talking for awhile, we are able to catch up like we no time at all has gone by.

                  Don't let it bug you too much...
                  Mom to two beautiful girls, Izzy and Delilah and about to marry their Daddy! :)

                  #9 hat0112

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,219 posts

                    Posted 19 March 2010 - 09:26 AM

                    I agree with everyone and it seems you are better off without her. You are starting a new life and have friends that truely care for you, and you don't need someone who would text you that she doesn't want to be friends.
                    Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

                    I love being a Mrs.!

                    #10 Mallory57

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 454 posts

                      Posted 19 March 2010 - 10:39 AM

                      C'est la vie is correct! You don't need this kind of stress in your life anyhow. Best of luck :)
                      35 (and counting) booked plus Bride & Groom!!

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