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If This is Your Second Marriage....


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#1 Martha

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    Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:08 PM

    Ok here is the deal.
    I don't know what name to use on my invitations.
    Here is why...

    My step-dad (and mom) raised me. I never changed my name to his.

    I was married before. I still use my married name. It's Spanish and much more convenient down here. Also, my maiden name is hard to pronounce and being a teacher, I wanted to make it easy on my students. I am hyphenated on my college diploma and am still hyphenated in grad school...I never wanted to "lose" my maiden name, ya know? So...all my colleagues and newer friends know me by my married name only.

    Here is the problem....
    I am not really fond of using my ex-husbands last name on my wedding invitation, even though this is still what I go by. But, if I don't use it, colleagues and newer friends may not know that's my invitation(ha, sounds funny, but true).

    Does this make sense?

    If this is your second marriage, how did you word your invitations? Or, how do you plan to word them?

    #2 TammyB

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      Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:13 PM

      It makes perfect since. I was the same way, married before and never changed my name back to my maiden name. I just used my old married name on the invites. No one cared. Your family knows you kept it, his family probably has no clue you never changed your name back..

      #3 LCBride2007

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        Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:20 PM

        it DOES make sense, and i can totally relate.

        when i was legally divorced in 2003, my name was legally changed back to my maiden name (even though i didn't know this at the time, long story). but i was still living by my married name (1st marriage). so everyone that i met from 1998 on, knew me as my old married name - including all of Paul's friends/family

        right around the time Paul and I got engaged, i started switching everything back to my maiden name (late 2006 - yes, 3+ years after it was legal). many people were confused. but i really didn't want my my exes last name on the invites or anything. and, well, legally - it wasn't my name!

        so i used my maiden name on everything.

        our stories are a little different i guess, since i did change my name back.

        that probably didn't help at all! lol

        #4 Martha

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          Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:25 PM

          Glad you all got that!

          I think the only issue with using my (current) married name is that this is something special and sacred between FI and I and I think in my mind I do not want to give my EX the "pleasure" of being on my invitations. lol This makes sense in my head...plus we are going to keep one of the invitations and I don't want to look back at it 20 years from now and see my ex's name on there.

          Maybe I can just use my maiden and just address it from my married name when sending to all the people that know me by my married?
          Make sense?

          #5 LisaG

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            Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:34 PM

            I know what you mean. I was married before, and kept his last name after the divorce. I just used my married name on the invites. No one thought anything of it.

            #6 SusanK

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              Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:34 PM

              I guess I don't get why your last name has to be on the invite at all?!? Mine isn't. We used our first and middle names.
              Or do you mean on the response envelope?
              You could also just address that with your first names, we did:
              Susan & Matt
              5555 Campfire Lane
              Racine, WI 55555
              Susan&Matt 10-12-07, Mia Lily 7-9-08, Charlie David 6-28-10

              #7 Martha

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                Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:37 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Susan101207
                I guess I don't get why your last name has to be on the invite at all?!? Mine isn't. We used our first and middle names.
                Or do you mean on the response envelope?
                You could also just address that with your first names, we did:
                Susan & Matt
                5555 Campfire Lane
                Racine, WI 55555
                Did you have your parents' names on the invitation? I have never had the same last name as my parents. So, if ppl look at my parents names and don't know their last name is Scarborough, they will not know it's me. I have never used that name and it will be confusing to ppl.

                AND, FI doesn't have a middle name. I think it would look silly just saying "Martha and Jay invite you to share, blah blah blah"

                #8 Martha

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                  Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:38 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by lryates76
                  I know what you mean. I was married before, and kept his last name after the divorce. I just used my married name on the invites. No one thought anything of it.
                  It didn't bother you to look at it? I am super sentimental, which is why I am so unsure of using my ex's.

                  #9 TammyB

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                    Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:39 PM

                    sounds like a good plan.. Are you going to legally change your name back to your maiden name before your wedding? Are you getting legally married in the US or Mexico?

                    #10 LCBride2007

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                      Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:45 PM

                      that's what i was wondering - since you seem to want to get rid of the ex-last name - how come you didn't switch it back when you were divorced? i'd probably just use your current name - since that's how people know you.

                      i don't have the same last name as my mom - but i can't remember if they were listed on the invite!




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