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Long Distance Frustration


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#1 AishaB

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    Posted 08 March 2010 - 07:51 PM

    My FI and I are in a long distance relationship. We are both from NJ but he moved to TX a little while before we started dating. We have been dating for a year and it has been going well. Sometimes it is tougher than others but sometimes it is downright hard. He visited this weekend and left today and I am just in pieces cause it will be another five weeks before we see each other again. We are still trying to figure out when and how this LDR is going to end. Well we know it is going to end when we get married but nothing hasn't been worked out as yet. He has been looking for jobs in NJ and NY so that way he will be moving back to the east coast and we can be closer to both families. However, if he doesn't get a transfer/new job on the east coast by that time, we have decided that I will move to TX with him cause well I'm unemployed right now and it makes it easier for me to pick up and move and try to find a job down there. But right now I am just frustrated cause I miss him and wish he could stay longer than the weekend.

    Ugh... I just need to vent a little cause I am just a Debbie Downer right now. Thanks for listening.
    BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

    #2 Amymarie

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      Posted 08 March 2010 - 07:59 PM

      We did the long distance thing for our first year together. I had to quit working entirely to be with him which is frustrating at times but i know i'd rather be happy and with the man i love than miserable with nothing but my job to keep me company. We are from Opposite sides of the country and his job has us moving somewhere new every year so we have to divide our year between 3 places. It is brutal at times but we make the best of it. All i can say about the long distance is it won't be forever and once it is over it is all worth it. Sometime i miss when we were apart, we almost communicate better when we are not together.

      Maybe you just have to look at it from a different perspective. You have all the time in the world to do things for yourself rite now. So focus on that :)

      Good luck "Debbie Downer"

      #3 AishaB

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        Posted 08 March 2010 - 08:14 PM

        Hi Amymarie, thanks for your kind words. For the past year your suggestion is exactly how I have gotten by for the last year. But with me not working, it gets harder and harder for me to go out and hang with my girls and do other things. Sometimes I love being in an LDR cause I can do my own thing and be independent. But these days it is getting harder and harder. But things will get better I am sure but saying goodbye always makes me sad.
        BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

        #4 **~Linda~**

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          Posted 08 March 2010 - 08:23 PM

          Lol you remind me of me a while back. My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 3yrs to say the least. We have accumulated tons of travel miles traveling back and forth and although it has been hard and it currently is extremely hard to be without him it has been all for the best. Due to employment reasons(DH is not fluent in spanish and is also an engineer in NY) and also having a 7yr old son who is currently attending first grade, we knew we wouldn't get to be together until after this school year is done for him. For now I try and focus on the times I do get to see him and also on the time when we will be together once and for all(which is May 28th!!). We have had to make alot of sacrifices to make our relationship work all I can honestly say to you is it has made me stronger and confirm more how much I want to spend the rest of my life with this man... Chin up, I know times are hard now but there will be better times to come your way and soon you will both be together!
          If you ever need to vent or just talk dont hesitate to PM me :)!

          PS

          Saying goodbye to my husband after our wedding was the hardest thing we both had to do but it made us strive so much more to look forward to the day when we will both get to finally be together!

          #5 AishaB

          AishaB
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            Posted 08 March 2010 - 09:27 PM

            Ahhhhh Linda, thanks so much for the kinds words and for sharing your story. The ladies on here are all just so wonderful. I haven't been on for a while (sulking) but I decided to come on and vent and it has truly made me feel better with the replies that I have gotten. So like you said, I am going to pick my chin up and put on my "big girl panties" and deal with it. I don't think checking Continental's flight status every few minutes to see where his plane is doesn't help either. (LOL)!
            BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

            #6 carolina24

            carolina24
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              Posted 08 March 2010 - 09:32 PM

              awww honey that really sucks!!! when i was in a LDR i remember it helped if i literally took it one day or week at a time. so instead of thinking 5 LONG weeks, think to get through this week for now. it'll be friday before you know it and then get through the next week and so on. I know it's easier said than done. also make sure that you have good phone conversations (some kinky ) and don't put too much pressure on your next visit. you'll make it, and if you need any support, we're all here to listen!! :)

              #7 AishaB

              AishaB
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                Posted 08 March 2010 - 09:35 PM

                Thanks Carolina24. I started out like that taking it one day at a time and not looking forward. But I think with all the plans and just knowing that we are planning a future (and the fact that I am infamous for not having ANY patience), I have just been really horrible at it these days. He tells me, "just take it one day at a time, let's just get through today. Don't think about its a month before we see each other again." And i try but I am just such a big baby (last child syndrome)! But I do appreciate all that you said, and you are correct. I really need to just take it one day, moment at a time. Thanks.
                BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

                #8 **~Linda~**

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                  Posted 08 March 2010 - 09:45 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by AishaB
                  I don't think checking Continental's flight status every few minutes to see where his plane is doesn't help either. (LOL)!
                  Lol naaa not such a great idea. I think i stopped checking after about the 3rd time he had to leave! Breathe and focus on the END GOAL! You will get through it I promise, the time will be here before you know it. Although I cant tell you it gets easier with time I can tell you that the reward is so much sweeter when it comes around

                  #9 *Meagan*

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                    Posted 08 March 2010 - 10:02 PM

                    My husband and I did long distance relationship for the first 3 yrs of our relationship! I was finishing school in Connecticut and he lived in Utah. It was very very tough but we got through it! Looking back I cant believe we did it, but then again it was sooo worth it in the end! I dont think it gets easier but when you have the end in sight it def feels different and comforting. Distance makes the heart grow fonder! You are doing great! Keep your head up :)

                    #10 AishaB

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                      Posted 08 March 2010 - 10:11 PM

                      Thanks ladies. I am now trying to redirect my attention to something more productive, i.e., Phineas and Ferb (LOL)!
                      BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!




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