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Mr. and Mrs. or Mr. and Dr.?

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#21 LynnieS

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    Posted 22 February 2010 - 01:08 PM

    I agree with most ladies here. . . Mr. and Mrs! I believe that this a an occasion where Dr. is not appropriate. It is a very admirable accomplishment (actually both FI and I are graduating from medical school a week before our wedding and it would be very cool to be announced as Dr. and Dr. for the very first time!!!!) but I am way more excited to be Mrs Viers! I say Mr. and Mrs. for sure!
    yay. . . we're gradu-umtaded!!!

    #22 LynnieS

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      Posted 22 February 2010 - 01:10 PM

      Oh, CONGRATS on all the achievements on this post. . .WOW!!!
      yay. . . we're gradu-umtaded!!!

      #23 speedy130

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        Posted 25 February 2010 - 04:03 PM

        I say use Dr.!!

        The only reason it "sounds awkward" is b/c its been men getting the advance degrees for too long! It is a societal pressure, just as taking his name is. If Mr. and Dr. makes people uncomfortable, then all the more reason :) Women are Dr's now too, so I think when it doesn't sound awkward to be a Mr. and Dr., it will be a good day!

        Still, I do not disagree if someone else would want to do it a different way and go by Mrs. It is a personal choice, so go with what you feel like doing and don't worry about others...just your future husband. You worked hard and it is your title, so if it is important to you, use it, just as he would. I am also a Dr., (Ph.D in Pharmacology), and I plan on using it every single time I can. It was a lot of work!! But my fiance is too, so I guess that means Dr. and Dr. on our wedding day!

        #24 mexbride83

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          Posted 25 February 2010 - 07:05 PM

          A friend of mine, who is a dentist, just got married last year and they said "Mr. and Dr." Technically, it's her title, it's how she'll be addressed, and she worked really hard to earn it... so I like that she used it!

          #25 jplovesme

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            Posted 25 February 2010 - 07:16 PM

            I'd say use it. If your fiance is okay with it, then go ahead. I have a friend who is a Pharm D and her husband is an MD, but they didn't announce themselves as Dr. & Dr... I wouldn't noticed either way. It's your day, you worked hard for the title, and if it means that much to you, then go for it!

            #26 wendyjd

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              Posted 25 February 2010 - 10:58 PM

              I say use the title, you earned it. I'm sure it would be Dr and Mrs if he had the doctoral degree. I plan to be introduced just with first names as I plan to keep my name after the wedding. Its a huge pain to change (it was "fun" with the wedding but after the divorce it was a pain and I was cursing the ex for wanting me to change it the whole day I spent at the Social Security Office).

              Congrats to all the doctors here: MD, DVM, and PhD's here. I'm a PharmD, just to add to the mix of degrees.

              #27 sjmacphe

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                Posted 26 February 2010 - 12:21 AM

                I agree with what the other ladies have said, I am working on my MD and my FI will have his when we get married, I think it's sort of pretentious to introduce yourself as "Dr". I think it would sound even more ridiculous to be Dr. and Dr....lol

                Ultimately it's up to you though, so as long as you and your FI are happy with whatever you decide then that's all that really matters.

                #28 ak1011

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                  Posted 30 September 2012 - 11:57 PM



                  (Assuming you are planning taking and using his last name in all settings, you would be “Dr. and Mr. Jones” if titles but no first names are being used.) The “higher ranking” title is always listed first.  If titles are to be used, they might as well be used correctly (http://www.emilypost...-correspondence).  Happily people with advanced academic and professional degrees fall in love and become part of stable couples all the time, and almost nobody would blink an eye if “Dr. and Mrs.” or “Reverend & Mrs. Johnson”  were introduced…


                  That said, if you are uncomfortable with it and/or your wedding is less formal, forgoing titles altogether is an excellent option.  As “echo2_62” suggested, I think "Let me introduce the new couple - (HisName) & (YourName) LastName" is a great plan.


                  I am in a similar situation as “DolphinMareDVM”.  I have a PhD and go by my maiden name in professional settings because that is how I am known.  I’m also not into titles or formality, so I often introduce myself as “Ann MaidenName” – after all, we are people with names more than we are titles.  However, if a title is appropriate or for asked in conjunction with my maiden name I ALWAYS used the correct one - Dr.


                  Again, perhaps like “DolphinMareDVM” I have also often used “Mrs. New/MarriedLastName” in social situations with my husband, as having a professional degree didn’t seem as relevant to me in this context (and, as I said, I’m not really into titles and adding “prestigious letters” to one’s name if it’s not specifically appropriate anyway).  However, I am now changing my opinion after thinking about it due to this post - not because I care that anyone knows I have a degree if it’s not relevant, but because I do think it’s important to think about the impact of our actions on the world around us.  


                  When I think about it, I would think it was weird if my husband had a degree where he normally went by “Dr.”, but for some reason he consciously decided to only go by “Mr.” in social situations where I was present and/or also named.  What kind of example are we setting for those around us and for our daughters as a blog full of intelligent-sounding women who don’t know that our name and title should be listed first if we have an advanced degree and our husband does not!?!  With weddings, all sorts of formality is present with wording or times and names and titles – why don’t we know this? If we keep this up, it will always “sound awkward” to have couples where the woman happens to have more education than her husband.  Ideally, I think we should live in a world where everyone knows that “Dr. & Mr.” is just as appropriate as “Dr. & Mrs.”…  Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that we still live in a country where the majority of our congressmen, CEOs, supreme court justices, etc. are men. In all fairness, how can we expect others to treat us and our accomplishments with the same amount of respect if we don’t naturally expect it for ourselves?


                  (I know this post is old, but I thought I’d respond just in case this is relevant to anyone else.)

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