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Does anyone else feel awkward about having a bridal shower?

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144 replies to this topic

#81 JL925

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    Posted 29 August 2010 - 11:21 PM

    The funny thing is that it wasn't myself who felt awkward about having a bridal shower it was my future mother-n-law. She felt that since we were having a DW you shouldn't invite people that aren't able to attend the wedding. I had to explain to her that everyone was invited but although most were not able to join us they were still invited to our reception back at home. I won the battle and had an awesome shower. The best part about having the shower was not the gifts but being able to share this experience with family and friends who truly love us and support our decision to have a DW even though they are un-able to attend. Most importantly is the fact that they will be able to celebrate with us once we return.  

    #82 Dilara

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      Posted 30 August 2010 - 01:29 AM

      I for one am looking forward to my shower... my bridesmaids are throwing it in a couple of weeks (I'm not a big fan of surprises). I've hosted and attended countless bridal and baby showers over the years and I love how they bring everyone together. I'm so looking forward to seeing what my bridesmaids come up with for mine since I've been to go-to person for everyone who needed help and ideas for showers within our circle of friends.


      As for gifts... It's not about the gifts at all, it's the experience. I'm looking forward to having a girly afternoon with my closest friends and family. I haven't registered anywhere because I actually do not want gifts. FI and I have been living together for almost 2 years now and we certainly do not need anything. I've asked my bridesmaids to come up with something creative that guests can contribute towards and that be a keepsake from my shower instead of having guests give me traditional gifts. I'm hoping I get some sort of memory book or scrapbook, how fun would that be?!


      #83 mmc1105

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      • 173 posts

        Posted 30 August 2010 - 05:58 AM

        You ladies definitely have a point about the shower, it would definitely be fun to get together with my bf's ad family before theatric.  I also have lived with my fiance for a few years, and we don't "need" anything either :)

        Alexander & Marci - May 6, 2011

        #84 want2gosouth

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          Posted 30 August 2010 - 10:13 AM

          Don't worry about it...from a guests point of view I would feel weird if one wasn't thrown for the Bride!

          #85 Dilara

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          • 233 posts

            Posted 30 August 2010 - 10:19 AM

            Exactly! A shower is a tradition that most guest enjoy attending... well, a bridal shower anyways. I've seen people rolling their eyes when the words baby shower come up. LOL

            #86 pina13

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              Posted 30 August 2010 - 11:20 AM

              Dilara - your idea about the scrapbook is FANTASTIC!
              I feel bad about having shower for the reason that I don't want guests to have to buy me gifts because I don't need anything for the home.

              But I really like the idea of a scrapbook from the guests.


              Very very meaningful!


              #87 Valentine_Baby

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                Posted 30 August 2010 - 11:24 AM

                I hear ya on this - I however have been to NUMEROUS showers for family members that I didn't even know - but it was proper etiquette to attend.  Those people are DEFINENTLY invited LOL - if they don't want to attend your shower they don't have too - that's why there is an RSVP.


                A friend of mine is having an issue like this but its with respect to a Jack and Jill and she is also having a destination wedding.  Some of her family members (sister-in-law to be particular) is telling her that there is no reason for her to have a jack and jill . . im on the fence on this idea.  But I'm all for the shower!  It's a great way to "update" the old with the new :)

                #88 Dilara

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                  Posted 30 August 2010 - 11:37 AM

                  Originally Posted by pina13 

                  Dilara - your idea about the scrapbook is FANTASTIC!
                  I feel bad about having shower for the reason that I don't want guests to have to buy me gifts because I don't need anything for the home.

                  But I really like the idea of a scrapbook from the guests.


                  Very very meaningful!


                  I'd much rather have a meaningful keepsake from the shower that I can look at down the line and relive those memories... most DW brides feel guilty about having showers because they don't want their guests to feel obligated to attend and purchase yet another gift. The cost of attending the wedding is expensive enough so I totally feel the same! But a keepsake gift (be it a scrapbook, photo journal, recipe book, etc) is something that I think most guests will enjoy being a part of.

                  #89 maura777

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                  • 50 posts

                    Posted 30 August 2010 - 03:26 PM

                    Yes, it feels weird having people spend more money when the trip to my wedding is already costing some of them more than they can really afford.  I just insisted they do it cheaply (not a fancy shmancy place or anything too extravagant).  Also, I am combining my shower and bachelorette into one day, so hopefully this helps since some people are traveling for it.  Finally, I told them to insist on no presents and, knowing no one will listen, I chose only very affordable items for my registry.


                    #90 giraffexx

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                    • 498 posts

                      Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:11 AM

                      Just need to vent... I choose to not have a bridal shower for several reasons. 1. I felt awkward to ask guests to come to shower and spend more money after already asking them to travel to Mexico. 2. I know I am in the minority here but I find most showers to be BORING and I personally did not want to have sit through one for myself. I am fine with my choice and have not regretted it once. So.....last night my FI slipped and told me how disappointed and unhappy his mother was that I did not want a shower. That she felt I was being inconsiderate to her since this is HER AFFAIR as well and she wanted to have a shower and to be able to invite her friends. Normally, my FI is very careful not to repeat these type of things to me since he doesn't want to get caught in between. I totally get it and actually really appreciate the fact that he does that. I've been trying to shake it off all day and ignore what I heard last night but I can't. I am pissed! I would never say anything to her since my FI basically begged me not to. But for her to imply that I am taking away for HER experience, HER affair....this woman must be out of her f***king mind!!! I did not particularly care for this woman to begin with but now I can't stand her. I can't believe this woman is about to become my MIL...WTF!!!??? 


                      On top of this....she's asked me a million times what she should wear. Since we are having a beach wedding I told her to wear whatever color, style she'd like. I suggested a nice sundress or a pretty dress that you'd wear out to dinner. The only thing that I asked of her was to not get a formal dress. She is wearing a ball gown to our wedding...on the beach! 


                      BTW- my mom has not once given me any shit about not having a shower.


                      Sorry for the long rant! But I do feel a little better from venting :)

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