Does anyone else feel awkward about having a bridal shower?

[CristiandJamie]

My friend is throwing me a shower when I'm in town. I live in Denver and going back to TX in a few weeks for another friends weddding so we are driving down. She doesnt seem to thrilled to do it and acts like it is putting her out. She hasnt verbally said anything but it's her actions and her tone that give it away. I told her I dont need a wedding shower. Plus we are having to drive down so that way we can bring all the stuff back with us to Denver.

 

Maybe she feels obligated but this isnt a standard wedding and there are no rules on what to do.

 

This might be a stupid question but for the wedding shower, who buys the favors for the attendees of the shower? I know that in the past when I was a bridesmaid, I got a wine topper but cant remember if everyone that came got one...

[jhartford19]

I feel the same way. On the one hand I want to have a fancy lunch or something and have everyone there, but on the other hand I don't want to be showered with gifts, esp. by people who are paying to attend the wedding!

[AtteGirl]

I'm on the fence with this as well. But it makes sense that it might be nice for the people that cannot attend the wedding.

[sunstarsmoon]

I don't want one. this is a 2nd marriage for both of us, and I feel weird having people at a shower that are not coming to the wedding.

[Kimmysals]

I think my mom will throw a casual backyard type shower for me that won't cost a whole lot. It will mostly be for friends and family who won't be making it to the wedding. And of course, I don't expect gifts from my friends who are coming. I have already made that clear to them. I am just happy they are coming to my wedding.

[anandres]

Ok, here's my situation. A co-worker has approached me to say they want to throw me a shower which is very nice. I was picturing a short "over lunch" kinda thing at the office. But she wants to have it on a Saturday at her house and has asked me for a list of who to invite (friends and FI family - my family is all out of state) My concern is that some of my close friends will want to have a shower for me but will get invited to this one and either have to not come (awkward if they're trying to keep it a surprise) or come to this one AND host another shower. Plus I think a lot more co-workers would attend if it was at work rather than "off site". (I don't mean that to sound like I want more gifts!) I don't have a wedding party so there is no one "official" to host it. I'm stressing - am I making too much out of it? Do I just give her all the names and let the chips fall where they may?

[edenl]

I wasn't sure at first, but alot of family and friends aren't coming to the wedding, so I actually had two showers, one was a couple shower for mostly family and another for girlfriend.

[jackie_c]

I'm totally skipping the shower since I live far from family and friends but if I was to have one it would be casual and just a joining of family and friends, with no presents and lots of delicious food (and cake, everyone loves cake).

 

It gives wedding guests and friends a chance to get to know each other before the big day, and is a celebration based on all the right reasons.

 

I've definitely shelled out a lot of money on bridal gifts before, then felt frustrated at the end of everything on how much it was for their shower gift, bachelorette costs, wedding presents, presentations, etc. It really adds up :S

[alison15]

I feel very awkward about it. I don't know who to invite. By inviting the people that are traveling to the wedding, I don't want them to have to buy a gift as well. They are already spending a ton. Then, do I invite the people who I know aren't going to attend the wedding? Seems like I am begging for a gift as in, "you won't be at my wedding so you can give me a gift now".

 

However, I do have a lot of aunts and uncles who will not be attending the wedding and I sort of feel like they should give a gift as my parents have given both shower and wedding gifts when their children got married.

 

Also awkward about the shower, is that I hate them. Attending them, throwing one, and now having one thrown for me. Everything about it it awkward and annoying.

[SonyaR]

I don't want one as I am asking people to take a week's vacation to be able to attend our wedding and we've been together for 11 years and don't need anything. My family tends to be traditional so they may put something together but hopefully they will honour my wishes.